Chapter 89: The day when the sky is highest

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Translator: Soafp

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The April breeze felt so pleasant, as if all past mistakes were forgiven.

Somewhat impulsively, I decided to splurge a bit on the floral tribute for them.

I conveyed a budget of about 5,000 yen and left it to the florist’s discretion to create a bouquet.

“…Ah, it has a nice fragrance.”

I muttered softly, not knowing anything about flower types, but that much was clear.

Perhaps because of that, I felt a bit lighter on my feet.

It’s been five years already. Maybe it’s okay to let go of some of the burden in my heart.

“…So, have you gotten used to that other world over there?”

I reached the large stone, usually an hour’s walk away, in about forty minutes, and glanced briefly at the engraved name before saying a few words. Gently placing the flowers I brought, only one question arose.

“What were their favorite flowers again? I don’t remember us ever discussing that. We thought we had covered every topic before our eternal parting, but maybe there were still things left to talk about.”

Oops, there I go again.

Well, I suppose it’s alright for an anniversary like this…

“Hey, you came, Kazunari.”

“…Katsuragi? And Mizuki too?”

“Yeah. Mizuki really wanted to come.”

As I was spacing out in front of the tombstone, the Katsuragi couple and their three children, who will be turning four this year, came from the opposite direction.

Mizuki had been told by doctors that she couldn’t have children anymore, but by some miracle, she conceived a new life with Katsuragi shortly after Maya passed away.

It seemed there had been complications like placenta previa, making it highly risky, but she managed to safely give birth via cesarean section.

However, Mizuki’s pregnancy was probably less of a miracle and more a testament to Katsuragi’s determination. He was probably desperate enough to overwrite Naoki’s place inside her.

Mizuki’s mind seemed to become a little more positive after the birth of the new life from her belly. Perhaps because of this, when she was told of Maya’s death some time after the birth, she did not become so ill that she chose to commit suicide as she had done at that time. Instead, she lost the strength of spirit that she had then.

Mizuki will probably continue to live while uttering words of atonement that will never reach their intended destination. Even if others forgive her, she may never forgive herself.

That’s her choice, but I hope she doesn’t impose that on her daughter.

Well, thanks to Mizuki’s personality doing a complete 180, I’ve been able to avoid talking to them about the six months with Maya. I have no intention of telling anyone about this part of the story.

“Daddy, I’m tired. Can you carry me?”

“Yeah, yeah… there you go…”

He immediately responded to his daughter’s request. Katsuragi already seemed to exude the atmosphere of a dad. To put it bluntly, he had lost his youthfulness. To put it another way, you might say he had become a reliable man.

“Miya-chan has gotten bigger, huh?”

“Yeah, she’s so heavy, I can’t help it.”

Had it been a year and a half since I last saw Katsuragi’s daughter, Miya?

I was surprised when I first heard the name, wondering what he was thinking to choose it.

[If we ever have a child… if it’s a girl, I’d like to name her Miya.]

Maya and I talked about all sorts of impossible futures while we were together.

Amidst pity, self-deprecation, regret, longing, fear, and an unshakable hope, Maya let those words slip.

The child Maya aborted might have been a girl. There’s no doubt that the abortion weighed heavily on her heart, lingering until her final moments.

Even if the child wasn't wanted, if it had been clear Maya would end up this way, maybe her father wouldn't have forced her to have an abortion.

But that’s all in the past now.

“… I wonder where Maya-chan is.”

Katsuragi, perhaps misinterpreting my silence, looked up at the sky as he said this. I followed his gaze.

“Who knows? But if she's no longer suffering, that's enough.”

The clear, cloudless blue sky was the highest I'd ever seen. It was as if I could almost hear a voice calling me from somewhere.

“…I heard Maya refused to use morphine until the very end?”

“…Yes. I couldn’t stand it, so I persuaded her otherwise.”

I wondered who had told Katsuragi about that. Not that it mattered; few people knew.

Maya clung stubbornly to the belief that enduring her pain was a form of atonement and refused to use morphine. She was also afraid that using the drug would prevent her from talking to me with a clear mind. Watching her in such agony was unbearable.

[You don't need to suffer anymore. I've forgiven you, so please find some peace.]

After hearing my plea, it was as if a tension within Maya snapped. Not long after starting palliative care, she departed for heaven.

Or maybe it was hell. But even that would be more peaceful than the suffering she endured in this life.

The anguish I felt and the suffering Maya experienced before her death—there's no question whose pain was greater.

I no longer held any hatred for Maya.

Only then could we finally become equal partners.

But I can't help wondering—if I hadn't forgiven her, would she still be alive today? Thinking like this is probably a sign that I haven't completely moved on.

“By the way, how’s Mari-san doing?”

Another victim's face came to mind, and I couldn't help but ask Katsuragi.

“…She's still the same as always, full of energy.”

“Any plans for marriage?”

“…You of all people asking that?”

“…Sorry.”

“It's fine. Whether fortunately or unfortunately, she's of age now and isn't seeing anyone seriously with marriage in mind. Maybe she's waiting for someone?”

“…”

“If you've forgiven, then don't be bound by it. Maya-chan probably wouldn't want that either.”

“…That’s too idealistic, it makes me sick.”

“Hah, if I don't say it, who will?”

“…Fair point.”

I let out a cynical smile, but Katsuragi's little princess paid no mind to my expression.

“Hey, hey, what's this blue flower called?”

Miya-chan asked innocently, pointing at a bluish flower peeking out from the bouquet I had placed in front of the grave.

Of course, I had no idea. Katsuragi probably didn't either. But there was one person who knew.

“Miya, that flower is called ‘Nemophila.'”

“Nemo… phila? Hmm, I've never seen it before, but it's a cute flower! Hey, can I have one?”

“No, sweetie, it's an offering, so you can't take it…”

“Ehh!?”

A conversation between mother and daughter. How adorable. The buyer should step in here.

“I don't think it's a problem if it's just one. Here you go, Miya-chan.”

I picked a Nemophila from the bouquet and handed it to Miya-chan.

“Really? Thanks, Kazunari!”

Miya-chan beamed and thanked me. For some reason, she always called me by my first name.

──She reminds me of someone.

“Hey, Miya? You should say ‘Uncle Kazunari,' okay?”

“Uncle… hey Katsuragi, at least make it ‘Onii-chan.'”

“Someone who keeps Mari waiting deserves to be called ‘Uncle.'”

“…Haa.”

I didn't feel tied down, but. Does Katsuragi know that I can't do anything without Mari-san's forgiveness?

“…”

Thinking that, I curiously searched the flower language of Nemophila on my phone.

“…Well, it's fine. I'll forgive Miya-chan for calling me by my name.”

“Oi oi… well, if you're okay with it, then it's fine… though it's strange that she's polite to everyone else.”

“It's fine. On a day when the sky is this high, I can forgive anything.”

As if making an excuse, I looked away from my phone and glanced up at the sky again.

Ah, the sky today is so high that it's almost blinding to me. I think I'll just close my eyes and enjoy it.

That way, I can be even more forward-looking and kind.

──”I forgive you.”

End