Chapter 79: Dreams of lost love

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Translator: Soafp

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As I continued to wrestle with various concerns, a month passed in the blink of an eye.

Maya came to my house to hand over the alimony money.

Since I had agreed to her request to hand it over in person, I couldn’t refuse. Not that I intended to.

After living apart from Maya amidst all the ups and downs, it seemed like my heart was finally calming down.

It’s strange how simply living apart can diminish anger and resentment to some extent.

Maybe things would have been better if we had started this way from the beginning, but it’s too late for that now.

The only problem is that there’s no outlet for relieving sexual desires when they surge.

“…This month’s share.”

Oops, there’s no time to be caught up in indecent desires.

Maya entered my familiar living room on her own and sat in the same chair as when we were married, then handed me an envelope with money. I hurriedly returned to reality.

“…Indeed. Thank you for your hard work.”

I didn’t think she was trying to deceive me, so I casually counted the contents and indicated that I had received them.

The accompanying words were something like, “Would you like some pickles?” in tone.

However, Maya didn’t show the slightest sign of leaving.

“…May I stay here for a while longer?”

“What’s the matter?”

“Well… I don’t know, it just feels nostalgic.”

I pondered deeply about Maya’s state of mind.

As for me, I hadn’t changed the cushion on the chair Maya had sat in. It’s not because I have any lingering feelings; it’s just that no one else would sit there, so I left it as it was.

“…Do as you like.”

Even so, I surprised myself by naturally uttering those words to Maya.

It might be because of the words Mari-san said to me that are bothering me.

Well, surprisingly, I don’t feel uncomfortable. For now, Maya is a guest, so I’ll offer her some tea.

Thinking so, as I was about to leave my seat, Maya stopped me.

“…Oh, if you don’t mind, I’ll make the tea.”

“I can’t let a guest do that.”

“…I see. Then…”

To make a clear distinction, I declined.

I casually brewed black tea for Maya and settled for instant coffee myself.

By the way, I thought about it again.

What does it mean that I can maintain such a calm feeling while making tea for Maya?

Is it a state of mind like having decided that Maya is “just another person” and moved on?

Or is it just that I’ve grown tired of expressing my emotions?

Or…

Even if I vaguely think about it, I don’t quite understand. Perhaps I’m perplexed by myself.

So, while having tea, I ended up making small talk with Maya.

And Maya, being Maya, might have accepted something conveniently.

“…May I come back here again?”

She said that when she was about to leave this house.

“I understand that we can’t return to being lovers or a married couple. But there’s a part of me that honestly feels reluctant to sever ties with you.”

“…”

When she said that, I felt like I glimpsed a small part of what was bothering me.

Instead of cutting her off with my selfish thoughts, I decided to listen a little more to Maya’s words.

“If it’s bothersome, of course, I’ll stop.”

But that was all she continued with.

Thinking about the deeper meaning behind those words would just be a hassle.

“…By stopping, do you mean evading the alimony money?”

“N-No, it’s not like that…”

“…Then, it’s fine for you to come to pay the alimony money.”

“!!”

So, I’ll forgive her for that much.

–Well, because I’ve come to welcome the moment when I wake up from the dream of lost love.