Chapter 60: As a married couple

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Translator: Soafp

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What we did wasn’t an act of confirming affection for each other, but rather an act to distract ourselves from anxiety with pleasure.

It was simply a night where I, being a man, and Maya, being a woman, took advantage of that fact.

I wonder if Maya felt the same way.

Each time I touched her, she responded shamelessly with reactions unlike before.

She was far more assertive than ever.

Maya, exhausted, likely fell asleep smoothly due to the aftermath.

If there had been love here, it might have been the perfect night for both of us.

As for me, I only remember falling asleep without gaining satisfaction greater than the lethargy that followed.

That’s why, when I woke up, though I regretted my actions, I didn’t feel the love of a husband toward Maya, who still slept beside me in fear. It was only natural, having transformed my inner anxieties and regrets into sexual desire and venting them into Maya.

If we hadn’t done this, we both would have had sleepless nights, so there was no other choice.

That’s how I justified and deceived myself.

“…Mm, mm…”

Perhaps because I was restless next to her, Maya woke up a little later.

Our eyes met immediately. I reflexively looked away.

“…Thank you for yesterday.”

Maya said so hesitantly. Her composure seemed shaken.”

“Thanks to you, I feel a little… relieved…”

As Maya uttered those words and her body entwined around my arm, there certainly seemed to be something intoxicating about her that could drive a man mad. However, thinking calmly, it was the first time Maya had spoken such things the morning after we settled things like this.

Until now, we had handled things in a businesslike manner.

…Was it always like this with Naoki?

Thinking that, I abruptly pulled my arm away from Maya without warning. She immediately showed a frightened expression.

“…Dear…?”

“A-ah… sorry.”

I quickly realized I had no right to blame Maya for that. Apologizing reflexively.

For me, who used Maya’s body with feelings far from affection just to distract an unbearable sense of restlessness.

…What am I even doing?

I couldn’t say it aloud, so I could only become self-deprecating.

In the end, nothing was resolved.

Only one method came to mind to prevent something slightly unpleasant from emerging in my heart, in the current situation where I could only calm down a little.

Maya and I, who had become indifferent to daily life, spent the whole day together, devouring each other at an unprecedented pace.

It’s ironic. From an outsider’s perspective, now might seem like the closest we’ve been as a married couple.

But I know it’s just a form of escape.

Though our physical distance couldn’t get any closer.

No matter how much I embrace Maya, I don’t feel like our hearts are any closer at all.

It’s as if──