Chapter 15: Conversations as a couple

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Translator: Soafp

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Well.

Currently, it’s just me and Maya at home.

After exchanging trivial conversation for about ten minutes, Katsuragi and Mizuki seemed to coordinate and said,

“Well, we have some errands to run, so we’ll take off. Enjoy some private time as a couple.”

With that, they left, leaving behind their bags and jackets. They both seem so sure they’ll come back later.

“…”

“…”

But really, how long are we supposed to stay silent? How do we break this deadlock? Can someone tell me?

……..

Haha.

Looking at it like this, my own pathetic state becomes quite clear.

Since Maya’s affair was revealed, the words I’ve thrown at her have all been fueled by anger and rage.

If a married couple is supposed to be one entity together, then even if I’m not at fault, even if my existence is denied, I should have understood Maya’s feelings.

I was just… angry, sulking, and resentful, insisting that I wasn’t at fault and that Maya was.

Perhaps, deep down, I’ve known the cruel reality that I’m second best to Maya, yet I’ve been throwing tantrums instead of facing it.

If that’s the case…

As Mizuki said, perhaps we should have divorced no matter what.

We both know it would only lead to mutual unhappiness.

I can’t keep from telling Maya what I told my parents-in-law.

“Hey, Maya…”

Was what I said so unexpected? Maya, reflexively shrinking back, sat there, her body tense.

But there was no response.

“Shall we put an end to this?”

Still no response. But I can tell she’s trembling.

“Attempting to rebuild our marriage in this state is impossible. Even if time passes, the scars on our hearts will likely never heal.”

I can see the color draining from Maya’s bowed face.

“Trust, which is essential for nurturing love, has crumbled. It’s impossible to start over.”

“No, I don’t want to.”

Maya refused without even looking at me.

“I don’t want to, I don’t want to, I absolutely don’t want to, I don’t want a divorce, please, I’m begging you, don’t divorce me.”

“…”

“…”

“I can’t bear to lose you. Please, don’t divorce me.”

“Then why?”

“…Because I love you.”

“More than what you had with that other guy?”

“…Of course.”

There’s a slight pause before her response, and I feel myself boiling with anger.

Calm down, me. Exploding in rage now will only lead to another cycle.

“You don’t have to pretend. Speak your truth. Otherwise, there’s no point in this conversation.”

“It’s not a lie!”

“…That’s the only thing you answer to immediately. When people tell one lie, they cover it with another. I understand that well now.”

“It’s true, please believe me! I don’t want to divorce you!”

Maya’s head, which had been bowed for so long, finally lifted up.

“How can I believe you?”

“…”

“You know I can’t believe you, even though you understand it yourself, don’t you, Maya?”

“…”

But she quickly averted her gaze from me.

Maya’s an enigma. When she was in the middle of her affair, she probably hid herself well.

But now, her reactions reveal her true feelings.

“Even though you know, you’re still trying to push through, but it’s hopeless…”

“…What can I do to make you believe me?”

“…Ha?”

“I’ll do anything to make you believe me. I’ll stake my whole life on it. So please, tell me what I need to do to make you believe my words.”

“…”

By not letting me speak until the end like this…

I wonder if Maya thinks my distrust towards her is escalating.

Let’s brace ourselves and speak our truth to Maya, who’s filled with lies.

“Surely, no matter how hard you try or what happens, it’s impossible. I can’t believe unconditionally.”

Thanks to Maya’s tensed expression, I could deliver another cold blow.

“I can never become your number one, Maya.”