Chapter 33: Still no escape from the darkness.

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Translator: Soafp

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A mix of discomfort, annoyance, and melancholy, with a sliver of hope peeking through. That’s how I feel right now.

I still don’t know how to remove Maya from my life entirely. Finding someone else to overwrite the memories is one way, but honestly, I’m not in the mood to try that while the memory of her affair and the accompanying disgust still linger.

However, the key difference between now and when I was feeling cornered and confused, just going with the flow, is that I’ve regained a bit of my pride.

Being cheated on made me feel inferior. It was a harsh betrayal, realizing that to Maya, I was always second best or worse, and that despite being newlyweds, I couldn’t hold her heart and she cheated on me. The shock was so immense that I wanted to avert my eyes from the reality. I honestly wanted to run away. But society and the people around me wouldn't allow that. There was no escape. So, all I could do was direct my anger at Maya.

“It’s because I lack charm as a man. That’s why no one takes my side and they always support Maya.”

Unconsciously, I was tormented by such an inferiority complex, one that I couldn’t voice out loud. A man who prides himself on honesty, but ends up humiliated, cannot compete with a woman who sheds tears of regret after being caught in unethical behavior.

But in reality, that wasn't the case. Katsuragi, my father, and my mother were genuinely concerned about me. Sure, my father has that kind of personality where he wouldn't straightforwardly express his worries about me.

I am not wrong.
I am right.
I am—

With that realization, a small sense of relief filled my heart.

There's no need for me to be cornered by a woman like her.
Instead, I should corner her. By standing my ground, I'll ensure that I'm in the right.

“…Ha.”

A wicked laugh escaped my lips unexpectedly.

With that momentum, I opened the front door of my house.

“…Welcome back.”

Maya was inexplicably waiting by the entrance.

What on earth is she doing here?

“…What is this? I thought you wouldn’t be home since you seemed to have gone out somewhere.”

I couldn’t help but sneer, just as I did when I had no emotional leeway. I felt a twinge of self-loathing, but what else could I say?

“…I’m sorry. I had something important to take care of.”

“…Hmph.”

Why won’t she admit that she was at my parents’ house? Not that it matters anyway.

“So, you went to Naoki’s place, didn’t you?”

“No, I didn’t!”

Despite deciding to stop thinking about it, I couldn’t help but snap again. I don’t understand myself.

Maya immediately denied it, then made a face like she regretted it.

“…I’m sorry.”

As expected, she apologizes again.

It irritated me, but getting angry felt pointless. Venting my anger at her was a waste of energy.

“…Enough. Maya, stop apologizing for every little thing.”

If I keep flying off the handle over this, my inferiority complex will only grow. It’s beyond irritating. I need to endure this.

I need to stay calm—

—but why do I feel like screaming whenever I let my guard down and darkness threatens to engulf me?