Chapter 59: A lapse of the mind

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Translator: Soafp

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I’m at fault.

No, I’m not.

Unable to determine the truth myself, we dispersed without even going to Mizuki’s hospital room, unable to reconcile our feelings.

Deciding there was no point staying here. But the impatience only grew.

Once I thought, ‘Maybe it’s my fault,’ it became unbearable.

Naturally, Maya went home with me.

Maya, trembling in the passenger seat, kept repeating, ‘It’s my fault, I’m the one to blame,’ like she was broken.

That bothered me so much that I don’t even remember driving.

How did I manage to get home safely?

If only I hadn’t thought it was my fault, things would have been simpler.

Maya, in her worsening confusion upon returning home, couldn’t be blamed or stopped.

No, it might be my fault too.

Am I a despicable person for not telling Maya that?

Of course, none of this would have happened if Maya hadn’t cheated.

If we were to assign blame, Maya would be the worst.

But maybe I delivered the final blow. No, it was undoubtedly me.

Once I thought that, I couldn’t think calmly.

Only impatience and guilt filled my mind.

Meanwhile, Maya’s confusion not only didn’t stop but worsened.

As time passed, her negative emotions grew larger, perhaps because she couldn’t check on Maya.

“Ah, ah, aah, a, aaaaah, Maya, please, I have to apologize to Mizuki, it’s my fault, Mizuki…”

“Maya. Calm down a bit. Your confusion won’t help Mizuki recover.”

Suppressing my own emotions a bit, I admonished her like that. I couldn’t bear to watch.

If I kept watching this, my guilt would only grow.

“Then what should I do? What should I do for Mizuki…”

“…All we can do is pray for Mizuki’s safety.”

I said to myself like I was reminding myself. Maya, who seemed to have reached the limit of her guilt, clung to me in her confusion.

“Please, hold me. Make me forget everything just for a moment. Hold me so I can forget everything…”

Normally, I would have rejected such nonsense. At least, if Maya wasn’t in that condition.

But I, overwhelmed by this guilt and the inexplicable rage that came with it, couldn’t handle it.

–Even if just for a moment, if I can forget everything, that’s enough.

That’s the conclusion I came to.

Since her infidelity was revealed, I hadn’t felt any desire towards Maya.

But strangely, now, not only was I not aroused, I strongly wanted to ravage Maya completely.

And so, I embraced Maya who clung to me.

I let Maya get wild in the bedroom, following my feelings, which were far from affection.