Chapter 83: A storm of regret

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Translator: Soafp

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[Maya PoV]

Why.

Why is this happening.

Was I too naive?

There’s nothing but despair.

I know.

I know I’m at fault.

I know.

And I know it’s not Kazunari’s fault either.

But it hurts.

It hurts so much I can’t breathe.

I hadn’t ruled out the possibility of Kazunari remarrying someone else.

But until I heard it clearly from Ando’s own mouth.

Even if we couldn’t return to being like we were before, I thought we could still occasionally talk or have tea together.

I was so naïve.

I’m no longer the most important person in Kazunari’s life.

I turned away from the reality I should have prepared myself for when we divorced, escaping into my own convenient fantasies within my own world.

In such a weak way, I…

Faced with the despairing fact of Kazunari’s remarriage, I’m just plain suffering.

It’s painful, sad, and I’m disgusted with my own foolishness.

I cried.

Alone in my room, I just cried.

The tears wouldn’t stop.

It’s painful.

Is there no air in this world?

In this airless world, do I have to keep on living?

Maybe…

Would it be better if I disappeared?

Even if I regret it, there’s nothing I can do about it.

All I can do is regret, because I’m a fool.

It’s painful.

It’s too painful, too heart-wrenching.

I… I just want to disappear and be gone.