Chapter 21: Too much love turns into hatred a hundredfold

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Translator: Soafp

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After talking with Katsuragi, I left the company feeling vaguely uneasy.

This time, I ran into Mizuki at the company entrance.

“Oh, what a coincidence. How are you feeling?”

I was a bit irritated by Mizuki’s casual approach. Coincidence? She definitely knew I would be here and waited for me.

“I’m not feeling well. Thinking about what’s coming next makes me feel even more depressed.”

Mizuki was probably here to meddle in my married life with Maya again. I’d be much more grateful if she refrained from unnecessary interference and just made sure I didn’t waver too much.

“…I thought you might not be able to sort out your feelings unless someone told you.”

“Yeah, that’s completely unnecessary.”

Women become mind readers when it comes to romantic affairs, which makes things worse.

“I’m sorry. It’s just that you’re suffering because you still love Maya.”

“Oi, that’s something I can’t ignore.”

I got angry at her statement, which I couldn’t just let slide. I still have a long way to go.

“Who said I still love Maya? Me? Don’t just assume things.”

“Is that so? Because if you didn’t have any feelings for her, you wouldn’t be suffering so much. For example, if I cheated, would you feel any anger towards me?”

“…I might get angry about you straying from the right path.”

“Then, is that how you feel about Maya now?”

“…”

“Honestly, you’re indifferent to any romantic issues involving me, right? You're still hurt by her betrayal because you love her, because you still have feelings for her.”

“…”

“Telling yourself ‘I don’t love Maya anymore’ won’t solve anything, don’t you think?”

Why can’t I argue back?

Aah, that’s right.

What pains me is not just the betrayal, the sadness, or the frustration.

It’s the fact that the woman I loved more than anyone else in this world, Maya, betrayed me. That’s what’s so painful, so sad, so frustrating.

Not being loved by the woman I loved.

It’s unbearable to stay married under such circumstances.

And yet, I—

“…Sorry. I went too far.”

How long had I stood there, frowning, lost in thought? Eventually, Mizuki, reflecting on her bluntness, apologized.

“…No.”

“But if that’s how you really feel, then maybe you should face Maya again and—”

“Thanks to you, I now know what I need to do first.”

“…Eh?”

“To stop loving Maya. To completely discard any feelings for her. That should be my top priority.”

“Wait, wh-what are you talking about, Kazunari?”

“If I can do that, then whatever Maya does, it won’t matter to me. She’ll be just another woman free to do as she pleases. From now on, I—”

Leaving Mizuki flustered by my words, I solidified my resolve.

Just as Katsuragi said, even if I were Maya’s number one right now, it doesn’t matter to me if I can’t believe it.

It’s not about liking or disliking.

It’s about whether I can feel nothing for Maya, be completely indifferent to her.

The most important thing is whether I can achieve that within the next month.