Chapter 71: The point of no return.

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Translated and Edited by: luccayn.

Common Honorifics:
-san: A polite suffix, but not excessively formal.
-kun: A common suffix among friends and younger people.
-chan: A common suffix among people you're close with, mostly used for feminine nicknames and girls, since it's cutesy and childlike.
-senpai: A common suffix and noun used to address or refer to one's older or more senior colleagues in a school, workplace, dojo, or sports club.

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Tsukino’s POV

Shinji-kun had fallen asleep.

Leaning against the wall, with only his feet barely covered by the blanket. He had taken the words I had always wanted to say—Thank you—and spoken them first, only to succumb to exhaustion the very next moment.

For the first time, I felt like I had witnessed the entire process of someone falling asleep. The way the tension drained from his body, the way his consciousness just cut off—

“…Hey, Shinji-kun? You're gonna catch a cold, you know?”

I tried joking, but of course, there was no reply.

Even poking his cheek after climbing slightly onto the bed didn't wake him.
A completely unguarded Shinji-kun—I might never get to see him like this again. Someone so strong that he seemed larger than life. Now, he looked even smaller than me.

I could probably keep watching him forever.

But instead, I brushed his slightly overgrown bangs aside, gently stroked his fever-flushed cheek, and carefully eased him into a more comfortable position before pulling the blanket over him.

“…Your brows are furrowed.”

Was he having a nightmare? About ten minutes later, he shifted into a curled-up position, huddling into himself.

The ice pack slipped off the bed.

I picked it up, refilled it with some melting ice from the fridge, then hesitated. Where should I place it? After a moment of consideration, I set it on the side table.

“I'm right here.”

Not wanting to leave him alone, I placed my hand over his.

And suddenly—

He clung to it.

Gripping my hand tightly, as if seeking something to hold onto. Something the usual him would never do. What kind of struggles had the Shinji-kun I didn't know endured? What had he fought against to be this strong?

I couldn't even begin to imagine.

And that realization filled me with an unbearable sense of helplessness.

“I wonder if I can really be your support.”

The words slipped out.

The weakness I had been holding back throughout this trip finally surfaced.

“How do I find the answer? What do I have to sacrifice to believe in the answer I reach? If I give up everything else and devote myself to you, will you end up hating me?”

Fear crept in.

I knew it—he liked me.

Everything I had worked so hard for wasn't wasted. He was about to give me the most definitive proof of that. And yet, now that he was about to choose me—

I wasn't sure if I was enough for him.

Doubt and uncertainty clawed at my heart.

Could I truly accept his unwavering devotion?

And if I failed—if I fell short—

Would he abandon me?

…No. He wouldn't.

Because the person I fell in love with wasn't that kind of man.

“…Ah.”

As if rejecting something, Shinji-kun turned onto his back and threw an arm over his eyes. Still asleep, but his breathing was steady now. His dreams must have ended.

That meant he was in deep sleep—his mind had finished sorting through his memories. With his eyes covered, he looked just like any other high school boy.

His tired gaze, the dark circles I liked, his unexpectedly long lashes—All hidden away. Just a normal boy with a slightly youthful face. And seeing him like that, I suddenly thought he was adorable.

Something indescribable swirled in my chest.

A tightening, constricting feeling…

A sensation I would never get from the awake Shinji-kun.

A sweet, dizzying kyun—

Like the sound effect from a cheesy romance manga. A longing I couldn't contain… And before I knew it—

It spilled over.

“Mmm…?”

His lips were dry.

He wasn't eating properly. Now that I looked closer, his nails had small, barely visible half-moons. A sign of vitamin deficiency.

His bones were slender. Through the gap in his yukata, I could see his chest—thin, his body so light that even I could push him down.

“…Fufu.”

And suddenly, tears welled up. Because despite how fragile he was, everyone relied on him. Even though he had survived in a madness that would have broken most people, even though he was the one who never got anything in return…

A boy who called forth happiness for others—yet remained utterly unrewarded. The sheer unfairness of this world was suffocating. He had given and given, until there was nothing left.

He had endured pain and hardship, pushing through without seeking comfort. He had suffered, cried in silence, and still stood back up, never asking for anything in return. He had carried wounds no one else would bear—because that was the only way he knew how to exist.

And yet—

That day, I had selfishly placed our problems onto him. I had dragged him into something he had nothing to do with. I had fallen in love with him, making things even harder.

I had relied on him over and over again.

“I’m such an idiot.”

“Don't worry about it.”

A hushed voice. I gasped and looked at him… Yet he was still fast asleep. He just sleep talked… So, even in his dreams, he helped others. Even in his subconscious—he was comforting someone else instead of himself.

This man… seriously…

“…!”

I hastily wiped my tears. If I voiced these thoughts, it would mean rejecting his way of life. And that was something I could never do.

Not me.

Not the one person who shouldn't think like that.

So instead—

“Thank you, Shinji-kun. …I love you.”

I suppressed the urge to hold him and slowly stood up, walking toward the door.

If I stayed here any longer, I would break. If I heard even a single weak moment from him, I'd never be able to let him keep fighting for others. I'd wish for him to stop—

To choose himself instead.

I had to leave to remain the Tsukino Michiru that he had chosen.

“Good night. I'll be waiting for your confession.”

The door closed with a soft click, and was met with the cold air of the hallway. Walking further, I pressed the elevator button, and the doors slid open immediately. Stepping inside, I turned back, watching his room until the doors shut completely.

As the elevator descended, I traced my fingers over my lips, still tingling from his warmth.

Thinking about his past, the one he refused to share. And knowing that I was the only one who could understand him. That certainty made me happier than anything else.

…Even so.

Kissing someone while they're sick…

I really had fallen in love beyond the point of no return.

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