Chapter 41: Contradiction.
Translated and Edited by: luccayn.
Common Honorifics:
-san: A polite suffix, but not excessively formal.
-kun: A common suffix among friends and younger people.
-chan: A common suffix among people you're close with, mostly used for feminine nicknames and girls, since it's cutesy and childlike.
-senpai: A common suffix and noun used to address or refer to one's older or more senior colleagues in a school, workplace, dojo, or sports club.
Tsukino must have failed.
I'd like you to come to the obvious conclusion based on what's happened up until now: there's no way she can go back to being friends with them.
From the heroines’ perspective, it's impossible for them to accept that the guy Tsukino now looks up to, after betraying the harem, would be someone who trashes the harem like they're less than garbage.
In the first place, just as people who believe in pure love hate harems, the ones in the harem would naturally hate someone like me who supports pure love. They keep turning away from ordinary romance, and to them, someone who's this devoted to the idea of pure love must be disgustingly creepy.
In short, it's a difference in values.
Like how we might reluctantly accept practices from other cultures that seem unimaginable to us, like forced marriages, adult bungee jumping, or sipping monkey brains, it's the same way we can't outright deny them, even if we can't really understand them.
What I'm saying is that other people's values are things that are fundamentally hard to accept. The only way to deal with them is to change yourself, and from the heroines' perspective, it's only natural for them to hate someone abnormal like me.
That's all there is to it. I don't plan on taking any other kind of action.
Like I said before, as long as they're getting cozy in their own values behind my back, and as long as it doesn’t affect me, I don't mind. I won't get involved. It's not like I have any right to judge them anyway.
Me hating something and someone else liking that same thing isn’t contradictory in nature. As long as it doesn’t personally affect me, I'm not going to do anything dumb like interfere. I've been saying this all along.
What pisses me off is when they flirt right in front of me. That's the only reason I ever acted in the first place.
“Hey, Shinji.”
“What is it, Hamabe?”
It was after school.
Yamakawa and Higashide had other things to do today, so it was just Hamabe and me alone. It was rare for us to be in this kind of situation. If he'd been consciously avoiding me, maybe he had something shady going on, I thought, remembering Kishimoto's words.
“Are you really okay with this? I've got a lot of stuff still bugging me about today. Can't you just clear it up like you always do?”
“Of course not. If I poke my head into this any further, I'll just go from being a bad guy to being the bad guy.”
“But still…”
“Just imagine it. The sad sight of some poor guy who's gotten tangled up in a mess of girls' drama and has to keep up appearances for everyone. Do you want to be the sacrificial lamb?”
At that, Hamabe shuddered and shook his head.
“N-no thanks. I don't want to get involved in something like that.”
“Good choice.”
Hamabe continued speaking.
“Shinji, do you really know what Tsukino said while you were gone?”
“No, I can't say I've thought that far ahead. I'm guessing she tried to blame me and ended up making everyone hate her even more, right?”
“No, not even close. What Tsukino actually said was—”
Perhaps Hamabe gave me the opportunity to interrupt. He deliberately paused for about two seconds before speaking again. He was probably unsure whether to tell me about Tsukino's actions in class.
“You don't have to say it.”
“…Yeah, that's just like you. Haha, what a waste. Tsukino's really cute, you know.”
“Well, can't be helped. That's just how I am.”
Satisfied with my response, we continued walking leisurely toward the station, talking about trivial things. But to be honest, there was one thing I had to confront him about.
I had no part-time job today. Fortunately, I had plenty of time, so I decided to bring it up.
“Hey, Hamabe.”
“What's up, Shinji?”
“You're the one who spread the rumor that I'm the school's go-to guy for solving problems, right?”
Hamabe stopped walking at a spot where there was no crosswalk and looked at me with a face like he was about to cry. He stammered awkwardly, looking incredibly uncomfortable, like he was the one in the wrong here, making me almost feel guilty.
“I'm not mad. You don't have to look so scared.”
“R-really? You're not going to dig up some embarrassing middle school memory and get back at me?”
“I won't. Seriously, what kind of image do you have of me? Not to toot my own horn, but I'm pretty lenient with people.”
“S-sorry! I just wanted to impress that girl a little…”
As he confessed, it turned out Hamabe was indeed the mysterious suspect Y. Well, thinking it over calmly, it should've been obvious from the start.
Hamabe knew I helped people out, he'd recently dyed his hair, and the cute girl from the next class was connected to the situation. Plus, when I teased him about his new hairstyle, his reaction was suspiciously off.
From his perspective, it must've made no sense. Here I was, the guy known for helping anyone, suddenly declaring a no-girls-allowed policy. With that promise he'd made to her weighing on him, his heart must have been racing, leaving him no room for silly questions.
Tough luck, buddy.
“Well, whatever. Let's go. Get in touch with her.”
“Huh? Go where?”
“Isn't it obvious? You asked me to help that girl with her problem, didn't you? You like her, right?”
Hamabe smiled broadly, looking oddly charming for once. Honestly, he smiled like a little kid with a huge grin on his face.
“R-really? Awesome! Yeah, she said she's free today! I seriously like her so much, and she's been really troubled! I'm counting on you, man!”
“Just so you know, fixing her problem and you actually getting to date her are two separate things, alright?”
“Haha! No worries! Just make it look like I helped solve the problem, okay? I want to impress her!”
“Leave it to me.”
And so, Hamabe and I made arrangements to meet the girl at the family restaurant as promised.
…But this incident turned out to be unexpectedly fruitful.
Tsukino's past, which had always been somewhat unclear, became more apparent. The reason Hareta's harem came into existence was a form of escapism—because with him, they could safely fall in love without being judged. It didn’t even have to be reciprocated.
It was that: safe.
And with that, their ‘rules' made Tsukino's past come into sharper focus. To hide something is to blend in, to pretend. It means choosing not to be alone, but to integrate into a group.
Yeah, she tried to blend into one hell of an odd group.
What I know about Tsukino's past is the despair she experienced during middle school. She was the victim of stalking, brought about by extreme favoritism from her homeroom teacher at the time.
The information I had was that Tsukino had been a student at Shirayurioka Academy, a prestigious all-girls school with a combined middle and high school curriculum. Before deciding to help her, I contacted a few students who knew her through social media and considered the incident that had been buried in the shadows.
From here on, this is just my speculation. I have no intention of confirming it with her, so take it with a grain of salt.
Most likely, Tsukino suffered from something akin to androphobia—fear of men.
Her blessed looks had attracted the attention of a pervert. Being at a prestigious all-girls school only made things worse, as she was emotionally blackmailed with threats related to her advancement to the next grade. When I recall her frequent dismissive comments like, “Men are all the same,” it's no surprise when seen through the lens of such a past.
Even Saori had expressed sympathy for her at the time. So, it's probably not too far off the mark.
Tsukino, being from the same hometown as me, didn't attend the same middle school because she went to a private school. She didn't join Hareta's harem at the beginning of high school because she transferred in after the start of high school.
So, what happened after she entered high school? The fact that she transferred suggests some tragedy had occurred, something too unbearable to stay.
In other words, it's likely that the pervert tried to cross the final line. She might have been on the verge of being physically violated. That's when Tsukino ran away from Shirayurioka Academy. If she had been able to forgive it, there'd be no reason for her to transfer.
This is the dark story of Tsukino's past that I pieced together from fragments. It also explains why Kakeru, even as a first-grader, felt the need to assess men so closely.
…That's why it was Hareta.
The women in Hareta's harem all had painful pasts that were difficult to speak of. And the guy himself was the one who neither denied their pain nor probed into it. He was unknowing, indifferent, and emotionally distant. It was precisely these qualities that allowed them to fall in love with him, forming a distorted relationship that offered them some form of salvation. A twisted salvation. It was a tragic bond of friendship between people who shared the same wounds.
So then…
The question I posed to Tsukino, one I said I'd think about once I understood, has finally surfaced. If she had only been hurt, she could have stayed alone. There was no need to fall in love. Yet, I still don't understand why she joined the harem.
…Ah.
I apologize for dragging on with these extraneous details. If this were a novel, this would be the point where the chapter would come to an end. So let's cut to the chase and declare the biggest mystery that wraps up this story.
So then…
Why did Michiru Tsukino, who had been so deeply wounded, feel the need to fall in love?
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