Chapter 62: There is nothing left to say.

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Translated and Edited by: luccayn.

Common Honorifics:
-san: A polite suffix, but not excessively formal.
-kun: A common suffix among friends and younger people.
-chan: A common suffix among people you're close with, mostly used for feminine nicknames and girls, since it's cutesy and childlike.
-senpai: A common suffix and noun used to address or refer to one's older or more senior colleagues in a school, workplace, dojo, or sports club.

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Saori’s POV

Standing in the elevator hall, I was trying to return to my room, but every elevator that arrived was already packed with guests, leaving no space for us to fit.

A hotel during the busy season really does have this many guests staying, huh? Since the elevators were heading downward, they were probably going out to have fun around Shijo.

I wonder what adult entertainment venues in Kyoto are like. Do the staff dress up as maikos¹? My thoughts were drifting to trivial things like that, unable to focus on my own assignment.

…No.

The reason I couldn't concentrate was because I was preoccupied with Michiru.

“Hey, Michiru.”

“What?”

“Are you mad that I kissed Shinji?”

“I’m not mad.”

Once again, we couldn't get on the arriving elevator, so we gave up and sat down on the bench nearby. After thinking for a moment, Michiru let out a small sigh.

“But I'm really, really jealous.”

“Fufu. You're seriously adorable.”

“Is that a compliment?”

“It is. I think this might be the first time in my life I've ever complimented someone other than Shinji.”

Surprisingly, those words weren't laced with any lies. After realizing the depth of Michiru's feelings and sensing Shinji's struggle to respond to them, I understood that there was no place for me to interfere.

I had intended to give up properly. But even though I knew it was a joke, when he said that to me, at this moment, I knew I would have kept loving him forever. There was no way I wouldn't be affected by it.

…Idiot.

“You know, Saori, I envy you.”

“For what?”

“Because you and Shinji understand each other so well. Everything you say to each other, everything he says to you—it all just clicks. You're perfectly compatible.”

I wondered why she couldn't see her own strengths. But then again, how many high schoolers could truly see themselves objectively while acting on it? Probably only someone like Shinji.

And even then, that guy has an unbelievably strong will.

“I'm no good at all. Just now, if you hadn't told me, ‘Shinji-kun had already figured everything out,' I wouldn't have been able to reach a conclusion myself.”

“…I see.”

“I envy you. You probably know all about the books he reads, all the knowledge he has that I don't. I act tough, but I don't even understand why Shinji doesn't look at me the way I want him to.”

After saying that, she pulled her knees up onto the bench and curled up.

“I'm happy that he knows me. But I don't know him. And that makes me really anxious.”

“Do you not trust him?”

“I do. That's why. Because I trust him, I can be certain—when his feelings shift to someone else, I'll be the one left behind.”

Peeking out from behind her crossed arms, Michiru looked at me with just her left eye.

“Saori, you understand that feeling too, don't you?”

…I do.

No, I did.

That's why I left Shinji's room.

“He likes girls who are still growing—imperfect girls.”

“What's that supposed to mean? You've gotten way cuter than before, Saori.”

“I'm different. ‘Optimized' is the right word for me.”

Michiru repeated the word, “optimized,” as if tasting it.

“I've already developed my personality, and now I'm just cutting away the unnecessary parts. I know it sounds arrogant, but I think that's what adolescence is like for people with talent.”

“I—I don't get it. Why would you assume that?”

“Because we help people. Someone who's still struggling to build themselves wouldn't have the time to think about others.”

Michiru fell silent.

Why is it that Shinji can dedicate himself to helping others? Why can't we, who should be just as serious, measure up to him at all?

The answer was in those words.

The elevator bypassed our floor entirely, heading straight from the fifth floor down to the first.

“That b*****d is the least human person I know, yet he loves human contradictions more than anyone else. And the biggest example of that is love. It's infuriating.”

Michiru let out a faint, garbled response.

She really was adorable.

She was so earnest, so serious, that I couldn't even feel jealous of her.

While someone like me schemed and came up with clever tricks, she never lost her pure heart—the kind I could never get back.

She was so radiant that all the happiness I could imagine seemed trivial in comparison.

I was jealous of Tsukino Michiru.

“They say people seek in a partner what they themselves lack. Shinji has everything I don't, but I have nothing that he doesn't. There's no reason for him to want me.”

The elevator doors opened for the fourth time.

This time, it was empty.

But we didn't move, only watching it in silence.

“Just now, I finally admitted it. I was using helping people as an excuse to run away from Shinji. I'm such a pathetic woman.”

“T-That's not true…!”

…Oh dear.

“Why are you the one crying?”

“B-Because… hhic… Saori, that's not who you are… hhic…”

“That's exactly why my love ended like this.”

If Shinji were still the way he was half a year ago, he would have coldly said something like, ‘That's disgusting, just die,' and pushed me away.

And if he had done that, I would have fought back, refused to give up.

“Ugh… ugh… hhic…”

Before I knew it, I was holding Michiru's head close.

Who was really being comforted here?

Strangely enough, it felt like I was the one leaning on her.

The exact opposite of the day I had my heart broken.

“…A person’s kindness and a man's kindness—they're probably two completely different things, existing at opposite ends.”

Michiru cried, looking down, while I smiled, looking ahead.

I wondered if, on that day, she had been thinking the same thing I was now.

I didn't need to ask to know the answer.

I wasn't lonely anymore.

I had been fixated on one boy, obsessively in love with him, and he had given me the medicine I needed.

I see it now—there was no way forward for me but heartbreak.

…Hey, Shinji.

Thank you for making me into someone who can think this way.

“Make sure you don't make any mistakes. You've earned that right now, Michiru.”

I gently stroked her head, and her hair fell, hiding her eyes.

Somehow, without me noticing, her once-short hair had grown long.

So much time had passed since we both experienced heartbreak.

While she had come all this way, I had done nothing, unable to move forward.

But I wasn't hurt by my loss.

Shinji entrusted his first love to Shizuku.

So, I will entrust mine to Michiru.

I won't lie and say I have no interest in love.

I'll accept that, right now, I can't imagine being interested in any man other than Shinji.

And when the next miracle comes, I'll swear to love that person with all my heart.

That is the end of the long story of Yukihara Saori.

There is nothing left to say.

…The chime of the arriving elevator rang out softly.

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1 — A maiko is an apprentice geisha in Kyoto. Their jobs consist of performing songs, dances, and playing the shamisen or other traditional Japanese instruments for visitors during banquets and parties, known as ozashiki. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maiko)

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