Chapter 11: Denial.
Translated and Edited by: luccayn.
Common Honorifics:
-san: A polite suffix, but not excessively formal.
-kun: A common suffix among friends and younger people.
-chan: A common suffix among people you're close with, mostly used for feminine nicknames and girls, since it's cutesy and childlike.
-senpai: A common suffix and noun used to address or refer to one's older or more senior colleagues in a school, workplace, dojo, or sports club.
“…Ah.”
“Well, what a coincidence.”
On my way back from my part-time job at an Izakaya¹ just across the station, I passed by Michiru Tsukino. Judging by her casual attire, it seemed like she was just coming back from an errand or something like that. She was also very surprised to see me.
Given the time, it would be a bit awkward for us to just walk together through such a people-ridden path. After betting against myself for some milk coffee on the possibility of being rejected, I pointed to a direction with a small gesture, and she nodded before walking alongside me. I lost against myself.
Ah, by the way, I never once won a bet in my life.
“Did the manual help any?” I broke the silence.
“Yeah. It’s really surprising just how spot-on everything is. Maybe if all girls had one of your manuals, there wouldn’t be so much heartbreak out there.”
“That so?”
“Hehe, it’s so amazing it’s creepy.”
“Too late for that now; I’ve been creepy from the start.”
She answered with a grin, hitting me with her tote bag. The sound of it hitting me was dry, almost as if she hit me with a box. So, that was her errand.
“I’ve never seen such a happy smile come from Kou-kun, y’know? He just wouldn’t stop talking about what happened at school after classes.”
“Ah, yeah, the thing with Yamakawa and the others.”
In the end, it seems they settled on playing a fun card game involving others. I didn’t know the outcome since I had work, but I didn’t even need to ask to know they had a good thing going on. Still, I wouldn’t have joined them even if I had time.
“It’s amazing. You solved everything in one day.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Y’know? The bullying? You helped him out.”
“Is that a joke? Don’t say things that make no sense.”
“Geez, I’m serious here.”
She’s not a cute girl, this one. Normally, one would notice a guy’s feelings and stay silent. So why is it that some girls my age want guys to understand everything about them, but they make no effort to understand us?
Maybe, just maybe… Are older women the way to go? Damn, if there’s anyone knowledgeable about this, I’d love to be enlightened.
“Well then, I’m headed this way,” I said, pointing to a small road entrance.
“I’m going that way too.”
“Huh? No shot. It’s just a straight road here to my apartment.”
“I’m going, so it’s fine, yeah?”
I felt a strange discomfort.
It wasn’t the calculated words I had felt in the expressions of gratitude or invitations, but a genuine, unmistakable expression of Tsukino’s true desires; as if I’m hearing them for the first time.
“Hey, I want you to listen without taking it the wrong way.”
“What is it?”
“Could it be that you—”
My implication was obvious. And for an instant, even in the dim light, it was clear as day that Tsukino’s face was turning a deep shade of red. The reaction was so intense, like every hair on her body stood on end, that I couldn’t help but feel that she was genuinely embarrassed.
“Huh?! Wh-what are you talking about!? I seriously have no idea what you mean!”
“Well, if it’s a misunderstanding, then it’s fine.”
It was genuinely puzzling.
There’s no way a girl in this world would fall for a loser like me. Moreover, she already has a guy she’s genuinely in love with. So much so, that she’s making efforts to be together, and I’m even helping with that.
“Th-this is, um, troublesome! If you say things like that!”
“That’s true…”
“Shinji-kun, you’re indeed helpful, and you’re actually really kind. And I feel like you’re always watching over me and doing your best for my sake! But, you know! That kind of thing doesn’t really have much to do with romance, right?”
“I mean, yeah, but you’re exaggerating with the praise.”
“Haha! Besides, I have Kou-kun! I mean, no way, right~? If something like that happened, all you worked for would be for nothing, right?!”
She was correct, again.
So, I didn’t think about the possibility. I didn’t even try to think. Love is supposed to be unwavering, and I believed that no matter what happened, there would be no change of heart.
That was my way of living.
“I’m sorry for getting it wrong, then. I’ve never had a girl like me before.”
“I, I mean, it’s impossible, right? I mean, I’m popular with everyone! A-and y’know, I can be very cunning, like when I ask you for things! I guess I’m trying to look good in front of other guys after all, huh?”
“Is that so?”
“I mean, you’re definitely abnormal, right? To a guy who talks about pure, undivided love like that! It’s impossible… Right?”
I stood there quietly, just looking at her bowed face. Eventually, she broke the silence.
“I know. I know I don’t deserve to fall in love with a guy like that.”
She tightly gripped the sleeves of her hoodie and forced a smile. The moonlight scattered in her moist eyes, shining like a kaleidoscope. What was she hiding inside those gems, inside her soul? At that moment, I genuinely thought she looked beautiful.
But that’s all it was. A thought. Nothing more.
“…Was it really that shocking?” I asked, recalling the day I told her about my ideals.
“W-well, yeah. I was really surprised, y’know? I mean, if you, with your skillful words, starts talking about love… That’ll get the hearts of anyone racing, even if they don’t like you like that.”
“I’m sorry, then. I’ll reflect on it.”
“Yeah, seriously. You say such things while doing so much for me. If it weren’t me, things would’ve gotten really awkward, y’know? Seriously!”
What kind of face should I make when I meet her tomorrow? How much should I apologize to get her to forgive me? How could I make amends so she can bring her love for Hareta back…?
Having pondered up to that point, I stopped thinking about it.
“Sorry! Turns out I had to go this way! I’m heading back!”
“I see. Good work, then.”
“I’ll go to bed as soon as I get home today! Don’t worry, I remember the manual, so everything will be fine!”
“Got it, good night.”
“Yeah! Good night!”
Then, Tsukino covered herself with the hood of her casually-worn hoodie, retracing the path she took with me as if running away.
…Why didn’t I consider this possibility before offering help?
I should’ve known fragments of why Tsukino Michiru was fragile.
T/N: The next chapter is from her POV, and it explains quite a bit of what she’s been thinking for a while now. Also, it felt a lot like she was in denial. Dude was calmly answering and she was still trying to explain herself. Well, that’s my interpretation at least.
1 — An izakaya (居酒屋) is a type of informal Japanese bar that serves alcoholic drinks and snacks. Izakaya are casual places for after-work drinking, similar to a pub, a Spanish tapas bar, or an American saloon or tavern. (Source: Wikipedia)
Thank you for reading! Feel free to comment your opinions below!
Also, if you enjoyed my translation and would like to feed my caffeine addiction, click on the button below and graciously give me my fix—I mean, a cup of coffee.
You must be logged in to comment.
5 Comments
I sincerely hope that if there is romance for Shinji it is NOT with Michiru, she is really going for another guy, I don't think Shinji would be such an idiot to be the second choice.
Maybe Michiru is not friends with the girl who betrayed Shinji, maybe it is the same girl and if so... it would be even worse.
Everyone have seen that coming, it’s been so obvious since. She doesn’t like it when he belittles himself. If she was truly in set of just getting Kou, she wouldn’t do those adlibs.
Thanks for the TL.
I hope the answers are more than just the expected "I fell for MC while he was helping me fall for Kou".
Thanks for the chapter. Finally we can get some answers and know what is going on in her mind
Some ANSWERS finally. It's about time.