Chapter 39: Skillful Steps, Activate

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So, several days have passed since bento day.

Kurebayashi-san’s hands are getting worse by the day.

“… Are you using hand cream?”

“Uh, I feel like it's a waste to use it.”

“You can just buy more when you run out. But seriously, isn't this a bit extreme? Your hands are getting worse.”

“I-I'm sorry. But I can't help it. My hands are dirty.”

“…”

Well, as long as you're cooking with gloves, it's better than nothing.

—

I couldn't stand watching Kurebayashi-san get more depressed each day, so I ended up talking to her mother by chance.

“Excuse me, Mrs. Kurebayashi. I know it's awful for me to say this, especially since she's been making me lunch, but I think it's better if I keep my distance from Kurebayashi-san.”

“Why do you think that?”

Her mother raised an eyebrow for a moment but then calmly asked for more details. Maybe she's just pretending to be composed. Well, I should be honest.

“After the incident with Okutsu, she seemed to be somewhat positive. She said things like, ‘I don't care if I'm not rewarded' and ‘I don't want to regret my foolishness forever.'”

“…Yes.”

“But now, it seems like being with me is making her hands and heart worse. She's almost clinically depressed, somewhere between 50% and 99%.”

“That's a pretty broad range.”

“I didn't expect you to point that out. But isn't it more than 50%?”

Don't you think so? You do, right?

Kurebayashi-san wants to be positive, but being with me only steers her straight into depression.

“There might be some truth to that. Being with you might remind her of her past sins, making her more self-deprecating.”

“Exactly.”

Setting aside forgiveness for now.

Instead of thinking, “I did this to him, so I have to redeem myself,” she's thinking, “I did this to him, so I'm dirty,” which keeps her from moving forward.

She thinks she's looking ahead, but she's just moonwalking so fast that she could put Michael Jackson in shame.

“So, if we keep being together, she'll only end up thinking she's dirty and probably get 100% depressed. It's better to distance ourselves before it gets to that point. I know it's rude to say this, considering she's making me lunch, but…”

Watching her like this is so bad for my mental health that I'd rather work a 12-hour shift at the Kawasaki bread factory to pay for my meals.

Mrs. Kurebayashi considered my suggestion, her hand on her chin, looking every bit like the agent she probably is.

“However, Yuuta-sama, right now, Mii believes that serving you is the only way to atone for her sins.”

“But if she's just driving herself into a corner, it's not atonement.”

“Then what do you think should be done, Yuuta-sama?”

“If she could free herself from the obsession that she's dirty, she might be able to move forward.”

What should I do?

Even if we'll never be lovers again,.

Part of me doesn't care about the person who betrayed me, but another part of me wants to help Kurebayashi-san, who's going out of her way to make me lunch.

My heart is at war with itself.

—

“Hey, Uemura-kun!”

It was Friday. Right after my second class, Makata Makoto called out to me.

“What's up, Makata-kun?”

“Hey, I wanted to ask. Have you joined any clubs yet?”

“No, not yet.”

I've had too much going on. I'd like to join once I get used to college life.

“Really? Then why not join the same club as me?”

“What?”

“I've joined a club called ‘Bone-Crushing Effort.' It's a laid-back club that does all kinds of sports.”

“All kinds of sports?”

“Yeah, from tennis to skiing, basketball, volleyball, futsal, even lacrosse.”

“Lacrosse seems a bit out of place.”

“Apparently, it's popular with the girls. There are quite a few girls, and the atmosphere is friendly. No pressure, but I don't have any friends in our department.”

I'm just an acquaintance, not a friend. What position do I hold in your mind, Makata-kun?

Hmm, but if there are many girls, clubs are a good chance to meet girls from other departments.

“Did you ask anyone else to join?”

“Yeah, I asked a few girls from our department, but most of them turned me down.”

“…”

Why do I have a bad feeling about this? Maybe I should keep my options open. Joining the same club as Makata-kun might not be the best idea. If I find a better one, I wouldn't mind switching.

I haven't been thinking about clubs seriously since I've had other things to worry about. Joining a club could be a good opportunity to meet girls without having to rely on mixers. Right now, it's like I'm stuck with the same old crowd.

Given Kurebayashi-san's mental state, meeting Kenzaki-san seems impossible too. Maybe I should give up on mixers after all.