Chapter 71: A cheap human being

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Translator: Soafp

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【I think I'll change according to >>5 Pert 12】

1: Username: 1

So, it looks like I'm joining a group date.

2: Username: Anonymous in Love

That's way too sudden lol.

3: Username: Anonymous in Love

Good for you.

4: Username: Anonymous in Love

Gotta say, you're on another level.

5: Username: 1

I absolutely can't let myself be popular, but I also can't bring the mood down either.

6: Username: 1

I'm going to die. Help me.

7: Username: Anonymous in Love

What are you even talking about?

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Yeah, I get it.

That's the kind of reaction I expected.

But it can't be helped. Let me, with my impressive 98 points in modern Japanese (shameless flex), explain this in the most straightforward way possible—

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8: Username: 1

Everyone else at the group date is a full-blown delinquent (and they all look super strong).

9: Username: Anonymous in Love

…Okay, I kind of get it now.

10: Username: Anonymous in Love

Why'd you agree to go lol?

11: Username: 1

Well, you know, it just kinda happened…

12: Username: Anonymous in Love

It's simple, really. Just play the comic relief, keep the conversation going, make sure the group date goes smoothly, and help create couples. Everyone's happy!

13: Username: Anonymous in Love

LOL.

14: Username: Anonymous in Love

Super hard mode, big LOL.

15: Username: Anonymous in Love

Why does stuff like this always happen to you?

16: Username: Anonymous in Love

Let's start by thinking about your self-introduction.

17: Username: Anonymous in Love

I'd say we should let people suggest things, but if you say anything weird, you'll probably get killed.

18: Username: Anonymous in Love

Too scary lol.

19: Username: 1

If you don't see any posts from me after tomorrow night, just assume I didn't make it.

20: Username: Anonymous in Love

LOL.

21: Username: Anonymous in Love

And it's tomorrow, too, huh?

22: Username: 1

Uh, I guess I should start with my hobbies?

23: Username: Anonymous in Love

Hobbies are your thing, right? You have like 20 of them. There's no way one won't work.

24: Username: Anonymous in Love

But having too many could be a problem. Let's narrow it down to just one.

25: Username: Anonymous in Love

The standard ones would be dancing, being a barista, or cooking. But then, you'd definitely be popular.

26: Username: Anonymous in Love

If you're going for the comic relief role, you know what's best.

27: Username: Anonymous in Love

It's scary that everyone understands what you mean…

28: Username: Anonymous in Love

As long as it's a legitimate sport, though!

29: Username: Anonymous in Love

Next, we'll need to cover siblings, club activities, future dreams, your motto, favorite foods and drinks.

30: Username: Anonymous in Love

Might as well come up with a nickname for you, too.

31: Username: 1

You guys seem to be having fun (watching from the sidelines).

32: Username: Anonymous in Love

We're not the ones who have to deal with it (total jerks).

33: Username: 1

…

34: Username: 1

Just so you know, I've been in the go-home club all this time, and I have one younger sister.

35: Username: Anonymous in Love

Alright, I'm gonna fill out your entry sheet.

We're ditching the go-home club part though.

36: Username: Anonymous in Love

Is this a job application or what?

37: Username: Anonymous in Love

Hahaha

38: Username: 1

Okay, fine. I'll leave it to you guys.

39: Username: Anonymous in Love

Leave it to us!

We know all about what you've done so far.

We'll have most of it covered (smug grin).

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I've never seen this much energy before.

Still, this is actually helpful… for better or worse.

Coming up with a self-introduction for a group date is tough when you’re not in the right mental state (which is most of the time, honestly).

Guess I'll make some coffee and check the internet for tips on what to avoid saying to delinquents.

I need to treat them like they're from another planet! (Rude, I know).

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111: Username: Anonymous in Love

Your motto should definitely be “Strike while the iron is hot.”

112: Username: Anonymous in Love

It fits the group date setting perfectly.

113: Username: Anonymous in Love

You still there, 1??

114: Username: 1

I'm here. Just got back.

115: Username: Anonymous in Love

Alright, here's your group date self-introduction sheet. Use it however you like!

116: Username: Anonymous in Love

【Birthplace】: “Pluto (tentative)”

【Hobby】: “Polo”

【Special Skill】: “Stealth”

【Pet】: “Ant”

【Club Activities】: “Little Sister”

【Siblings】: “Bottle Ship”

【Important Item】: “Coffee”

【Favorite Drink】: “Curry”

【Favorite Food】: “(1’s name)”

【Nickname】: “Strike While the Iron is Hot (say it with a confident expression)”

【Motto】: “Someone who embraces everything”

【Ideal Type of Woman】

▼ Opening Greeting:

“Despite the hair color, I'm all about being serious. Nice to meet you. By the way, can I get everyone's contact info? (Whether it works or not, your impression will definitely drop).”

If the atmosphere doesn't allow for long intros, use this:

“Nice to meet you, my name is (Name). My hobby is (chosen hobby). Feel free to call me (chosen nickname).”

Adapt to the mood of the place—be formal or casual as needed.

▼ How to Play it:

1. Don't move from your seat.

2. If someone talks to you, focus on listening to them instead of talking about yourself.

▼ Final Secret Technique:

Pretend you have something urgent and leave (fake an illness or a task).

▼ Eternal Force Blizzard:

Avoid self-deprecating humor. It kills the vibe.

No jokes about being unpopular, body issues, hair, illness, or anything unfunny.

Also, avoid excessive bragging.

Bragging in a self-deprecating way is even worse.

1+1 isn't just 2, it's 200! That's a 10x multiplier, seriously.

117: Username: 1

Whoa, this is… amazing.

118: Username: Anonymous in Love

Yep, this is perfect.

119: Username: Anonymous in Love

We're actually pretty capable when we try, huh? (laughs)

120: Username: 1

I'll take a screenshot. Feels like I can sleep soundly tonight.

121: Username: 1

Thanks, everyone.

122: Username: Anonymous in Love

You're welcome.

123: Username: Anonymous in Love

You're welcome indeed.

Here's to the glory of 1, the human who follows online suggestions to the letter.

124: Username: Anonymous in Love

Now we can expect a lively 1 on Saturday, huh?

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200: Username: Anonymous in Love

Man, group dates sound fun.

201: Username: Anonymous in Love

Have you guys ever been to one?

202: Username: Anonymous in Love

I went during college. It's fun, especially with drinks involved.

203: Username: Anonymous in Love

Where do high schoolers even have them?

204: Username: Anonymous in Love

Probably at karaoke places, right?

205: Username: Anonymous in Love

Sounds fun. Feels like real youth.

206: Username: Anonymous in Love

…Hmm?

207: Username: Anonymous in Love

Wait, hold up.

208: Username: Anonymous in Love

Huh?

209: Username: Anonymous in Love

It's off! Something's off!

210: Username: Anonymous in Love

Wait, what?

211: Username: Anonymous in Love

Oh man, you're right, LOL.

212: Username: Anonymous in Love

Ahh, it's because club section was left blank…

213: Username: Anonymous in Love

LOL.

214: Username: Anonymous in Love

1 must have fallen asleep.

215: Username: Anonymous in Love

Wait, isn't that bad?

216: Username: Anonymous in Love

He'll definitely notice, don't worry lol.

217: Username: Anonymous in Love

Of course! He's the top student in his grade, after all!

218: Username: Anonymous in Love

Please, stop raising so many death flags!