Chapter 115: Rolling down

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Translator: Soafp

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The chime of the school bell rang out.

Gym class was finally over. Not wanting to be in the classroom any longer than necessary, I dashed to the library. I'd only go back just before the next class started.

After 6th period and homeroom, I'd head straight home. I didn't want to feel anyone's gaze right now.

“Ugh.”

I changed out of my uniform, sat down, and let it all sink in.

There had been something deep inside me, something I couldn't quite shake. Hatsune, Kisaragi, Momiji, Yumesaki, and Hiiragi. They were all girls.

The opposite gender. Not guys.

How do they see me?

And more than that, how does everyone else see me?

Of course, that's obvious. I'm “not normal.”

The rainbow-colored hair. The top grades in the class. This creative dance.

[――”He's totally trying to impress someone.”――]

But I hadn't cared about the way “everyone else” saw me. Why? Because the five of them, the girls, they hung out with me.

Study groups for exams. That wild group date. The mountain hikes, the karaoke session when I even got Hatsune to join in. We'd done so many things together. I have memories of laughing with them.

It was fun. As friends, I thought it would stay like this forever.

But that's not how things work.

[――”Hey.”――]

Recently, Yumesaki and Hiiragi had become distant.

[――”Sorry, I'll be practicing with Ayanon from now on.”――》

And Hatsune, who had started openly avoiding me. Naturally, her best friend Kisaragi followed suit.

[――”It's still okay for us to hang out during breaks, right?”――]

Momiji, who had made a friend with another girl.

Eventually, they'll all realize how strange I am.

“Ugh…”

Even if I don't want to, I can't stop imagining it.

Friday—after the dance performance.

The five of them, slowly drifting away from me.

“Damn it…”

The ticking of the clock echoed through my room at home. Even shoving earphones deep into my ears wouldn't drown it out.

This worst-case scenario was inching closer by the day. In fact, it was only two days away.

Desperate to block out the sound of that ticking, I left the house. It was impulsive.

I only realized I'd forgotten my beanie, which I always wore, after I was already on the train.

☆

[――♪]

The blinding lights cut through the darkness, accompanied by the booming music.

Right now, it felt comforting.

Too comforting, in fact. It was almost scary.

Maybe it was because this place, being alone, didn't feel out of place.

“Ugh…”

I kept my feet moving, practicing basic steps, letting the music flow over me.

Before I knew it, an hour had passed. I'd gotten so absorbed in it, it was frightening. Part of me wished I could stay like this forever, but I knew I couldn't.

There was school tomorrow. I had to go home and get my study prep done…

“—Yahoo★”

Just as I had finished dancing and was thinking of heading home, I heard a familiar voice.

Dressed in a sleek black dress, it was the woman who always approached me here.

It was Haori.

Honestly, she was the last person I wanted to run into right now. It felt like she could see right through me.

“Something bothering you?”

“Ugh!?”

…Of course, she could tell. It's like she could read my thoughts.

And there was this intense aura about her. It was kind of intimidating.

“You don’t need to look so shocked. I can tell just by looking at your face. I don't even need to see your face to know, actually.”

“…Is that so?”

“Yup.”

She's a strange person.

I used to think she was just scary, but now, there’s this kindness that radiates from her.

I imagine my mother, overseas, must've been like this too.

“Don't bottle things up, okay?”

“…Yes.”

“When people feel down, their perspective narrows more and more.”

“……”

“Are you even listening?”

“Yes.”

“Mou. Anyway, talk to someone about it, whether it's a friend or whoever.”

“…Okay.”

I couldn't bring myself to tell her that those friends were already drifting away.

“Even a complete stranger★”

“Come on, no way…”

“But you have people, don't you? Plenty of people who would listen.”

“Huh?”

“Of course, Haori here is always available too—”

“—Owner! The CEO of ○× is calling for you at the VIP table.”

“Oh… kind of urgent? This really isn't the best time.”

“He wants to discuss that new business venture…”

“Ah, I see… Seriously?”

…Should I even be hearing this?

“Sorry, I’ve been called away. We’ll chat again, okay?”

“Y-yes.”

Before I could fully process what just happened, she disappeared into the crowd.

Wait, she's the owner? No wonder she felt so intimidating.

“Time to head home…”

Suddenly, a wave of exhaustion hit me all at once.

I'd go straight to bed when I got home.

I thought about asking for advice on the bulletin board, but I stopped myself. They'd probably think this all happened because of the hobby I chose through “anons.”

Besides, if I mentioned that all my friends were girls… even the board members might start distancing themselves.

[—”But you have plenty of people.”—]

I still don't really understand what she meant by that.

☆

The next morning.

I walked into the classroom just in time for homeroom.

And then—

“Hey, did you hear? He was at a club last night.”

The words hit my ears, and a cold sweat ran down my spine.