Chapter 45: Embarrassed

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Translator: Soafp

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Before I knew it, my phone was vibrating in my hand.

I was at home.

Instinctively, I closed the thread and pressed the ‘answer’ button.

“Hello?”

“……”

“Sorry, but I’m not interested in any info products or–“

“—What are you talking about?”

“Huh?”

“…”

It was unmistakable—Hatsune’s voice.

“I forgot to write the sender’s name, didn’t I?”

“Your movie notes. You have a pretty unique handwriting, so I recognized it.”

Ah, that makes sense. But I didn’t think she’d remember something like that.

Wait a second, I’m actually talking to Hatsune right now, aren’t I?

“Uh, so—”

“I'll be at the station at 7:10 PM. Meet me there.”

And then the call ended.

… Well, it looks like I’ll get a chance to talk to her after all.

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“……”

“…You don’t look well.”

“?!”

“Don’t be so startled.”

Hatsune appeared, her uniform slightly disheveled, probably because she had just finished club activities.

She had a slightly casual look, different from her usual self.

“Can we talk while we walk?”

“Uh, sure.”

I followed her brisk pace.

“So, what?”

“Uh, nothing…”

Her voice was unusually sharp.

She seemed angry, but I had no idea why.

So, I figured I had no choice but to talk normally.

“You’re not with Ayanon today?”

“Huh?”

“…”

“Oh, did Kisaragi-san tell you? I happened to run into her yesterday, and—”

“…”

“I ended up carrying Kanon-chan on my back, and she fell asleep, so I just went inside their house.”

Wait, did I do something illegal without realizing it? Does entering a high school girl's house count as trespassing?

“You were there pretty late, though.”

“Hmm? Well, Kanon-chan and I were just playing until Kisaragi-san finished cooking…”

This is strange.

Her words sound like she saw everything happen, yet it seems like she didn’t hear it from Kisaragi-san.

“Ayanon's really cute, isn’t she?”

“Eh?”

“And Kanon-chan too, she’s super adorable.”

“Well, yeah, they are…”

Something’s off with Hatsune.

And with me too.

There’s this uncomfortable feeling growing in my chest.

“Ayanon's really popular with guys, you know?”

“…Yeah, I can see that.”

“But she's completely unaware of it, or rather, she's not really interested in guys.”

“…Yeah.”

She mumbled as she spoke.

I can't take it.

This irritation is bubbling up inside me.

“Ayanon should be more careful, honestly.”

“……”

“Letting a boy from her class into her house like that—”

“—!!”

That was clearly a jab. But that wasn't what was making me angry.

What the hell is going on?

All she's been talking about is her.

“Haa~ Ayanon is really a sinful girl, isn't she—”

“—Hey.”

“!! W-what?”

I couldn't take it anymore.

My frustration boiled over, and I stopped in my tracks.

Hatsune looked startled as I opened my mouth to speak.

“Why have you been talking about Kisaragi-san this whole time… and in such a gloomy tone?”

“Huh, well, that's—”

“It's been bothering me, a lot.”

The conversation I had imagined with her was supposed to be about something else.

Like the latest movies, the manga we're both into, or anime recommendations.

Fun topics like that.

I don't mind talking about Kisaragi-san, but hearing it in such a sad voice, it feels disrespectful to her too.

“I… I want to talk with you, Hatsune.”

“!”

“It's our first real conversation since we became friends. I don't want it to be like this.”

“Why…”

“Huh?”

“…Ugh.”

She let out a small noise and lowered her head.

I didn't understand her reaction.

But—

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323: Username: 1

I want to get closer to her. 

The first friend I made since starting school.

---

If that post was really how I felt back then, then what I want to tell her now is—

“I want to get to know you better, Hatsune.”

“I want to know about the movies you like, the foods you enjoy… anything. I just want to learn more about you.”

“You're the first friend I made after starting school, so—”

Without realizing it, those words slipped out naturally.

“W-what… is that…?”

Hatsune, still looking down, mumbled with her back to me.

I couldn't see her face.

She started walking away, leaving me standing there.

“—Don't follow me!”

On instinct, I tried to chase after her, but her words made me stop in my tracks.

“I don't… want you to see my face right now.”

“Huh?”

“So don't… come next to me.”

“I… okay, I get it.”

With that, I could only do as she asked. We continued walking, in this odd situation, her ahead and me trailing behind on the wide sidewalk.

“……”

“……”

For a while, we walked in silence, the only sounds were our footsteps and the ambient noise around us.

Eventually, we reached a familiar place—Hatsune's house, the one I had visited before.

“Well… see you.”

“Y-yeah… sure.”

In the end, we hadn't really talked much.

I didn't get to see her face at all.

“…See you tomorrow.”

With that small voice, she quickly dashed into the building, disappearing into her apartment.

“…”

My face grew hotter.

Oh no.

It was only now that the embarrassment truly hit me.

Did I scare her off?

But… no, her mood changed after I said that.

No, wait… still…

That line was just—

“So embarrassing…”

After all that effort to make a friend, I'd gone and messed it up. The shame of my own impulsiveness made me want to disappear entirely.

In my next life, I want to be a proton. (Or a neutron, at least).