Oneshot: I was taunted by my childhood friend. So, I decided to ruin her date.

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“―Here you go, Sayo. It’s a bit early, but here’s your Christmas present.”

December 23rd.

The day before Christmas Eve.

I, Shikahara Yuuji, handed a slightly early Christmas present to my childhood friend, Shiraishi Sayo.

“Th-thanks…”

Sayo, looking a bit hesitant, took the paper bag from me. Her trademark twin-tails swayed as she gave a shy smile. I thought it was cute, but I didn’t let it show. I knew all too well that this tomboyish childhood friend would get cocky if I did.

“Not to spoil the surprise, but it’s homemade candy. Eat it soon.”

“Got it. Can I open it now?”

“Sure.”

At my nod, Sayo began rummaging through the bag. Watching her, I couldn’t help but reminisce about how she always had a bit of a sweet tooth. She eventually pulled out a bag of wrapped candies.

“Wow, they’re pretty star-shaped candies. You’re really good at this, Yuuji.”

“Haha, praise me more!”

Sayo examined the candy closely and complimented my baking skills. I couldn’t help but feel proud. After all, what guy wouldn't be happy being praised by the girl he likes?

“Actually, never mind. You always get a big head about it.”

“What was that!?”

“Haha, that’s what makes you so childish.”

Even though I knew she was teasing me, her smile was so charming that I couldn’t stay mad. That’s the weakness of being in love, I guess. Even casual conversations made me happy.

“But you know, you could've waited until tomorrow. It's Christmas Eve, after all.”

Her words hit me like a sharp pang in my chest.

“Yeah, well, I couldn’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Come on, you know why…”

She had to know. If she didn’t, she was being incredibly cruel.

“You’re going on a date with your boyfriend tomorrow, right? I can’t just intrude on that.”

Sayo already had a boyfriend.

“…Oh, right. I forgot about that.”

“Seriously?”

She sounded like she had just remembered. Was she treating her boyfriend too casually?

“You sure that’s okay? He might get fed up with you.”

“It’s fine! I’m cute, so if anyone gets fed up, it’ll be me! Anyway, can I try the candy now? I’m curious about the taste!”

Sayo was blatantly trying to change the subject. I could push further, but I decided to let it go.

“Go ahead.”

“Yay! Here goes!”

As soon as I gave my approval, Sayo popped a candy into her mouth. Watching her, I secretly chuckled.

(Heh heh..Huehehe…… She ate it… My special candy.)

Yes, what I gave her wasn't just any candy. It was a special candy I made myself, with a little extra ingredient.

—

Let’s rewind to the night before, December 22nd.

I was lying on my bed, reading a manga, when my phone rang.

“Yuuji, do you have any plans for Christmas this year?”

The moment I saw the message, I thought, “Not again.”

Anyone looking at me would probably say I had a really annoyed expression.

(She asks this every year.)

I sighed. It was a familiar text from Shiraishi Sayo, my childhood friend and classmate. We lived next door to each other, were born in the same hospital, and had been in the same class throughout school.

Given our relationship, it was only natural that I'd end up having feelings for her. Sayo had always been cuter than our other classmates, and she grew more mature when we entered middle school. Watching her change, I often felt a mix of emotions I didn't understand.

Then one day, as we walked home from school, I looked at her and thought, “She's really cute.”

That was the moment I started seeing my childhood friend as a girl. Ever since then, I’ve been in love with her. And that feeling hasn't changed.

(Remembering all this is making me nostalgic.)

I smiled at the memory of my first love. Just then, my phone buzzed again.

“Hey, Yuuji. Are you listening? I can see you read my message.”

I looked at my phone and saw a new message. Five minutes had passed since I read her first one. I must have been lost in thought for a while.

“I’m here. I don’t have any plans. The most I’ll be doing is helping make cakes.”

I quickly replied.

But as I typed, I felt a bit sad. What I really wanted was to invite the girl on the other end of the conversation to spend Christmas with me.

(Wait, could I actually have a chance now? They say there’s no time like the present…)

Ping!

As I mulled over this, another message popped up.

“…What?”

I quickly checked my phone, only to see:

“Haha, I knew it lol”

My temple throbbed with anger.

No, wait, calm down. She’s just teasing, right? It’s her way of hiding her embarrassment. I need to show some patience here.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Sorry, sorry lol No harm intended lol It’s just… haha, spending another lonely Christmas, huh? Still single since middle school, even though you’re in high school now? Lol”

The nerve. I snapped.

Who cares if I like her? No guy wouldn’t get mad at this.

“What’s so funny??”

“Oh, nothing. Just thinking maybe you should get a girlfriend lol Still single, huh? Can’t imagine why lol”

“Like you have a boyfriend! You have no right to talk!”

Even as I fumed, Sayo kept teasing. She didn’t have a boyfriend either, so what’s her deal?

(Then again, maybe it’s better if she doesn’t have a boyfriend… We always have these stupid fights every year.)

Every year, we end up arguing about being single around Christmas. It always ends with my sister having to play peacemaker, giving us that cold, disapproving look.

Just as I was thinking about that…

“…Didn’t I tell you?”

Huh? Something’s different about Sayo’s tone.

‘I’ve got a boyfriend now.’

Her bombshell rocked me.

“…What?”

“Did I stutter? I have a boyfriend now. We’re going on a date for Christmas lol”

It took a full minute to process what she said. Maybe my brain just didn’t want to accept it.

“Well, I’m cute and popular. Unlike you, who can’t even keep girl friends, let alone a girlfriend.”

A boyfriend? A guy? A human being?

“Do you regret it? Regret not confessing to your super cute childhood friend? Realizing too late how lucky you were to have me around?”

While my brain was still short-circuiting, my phone kept pinging with her messages.

“Too bad! If you’d confessed, maybe, just maybe, you’d have stood a chance. But now, you’re stuck alone. Serves you right! Why didn’t you ever make a move? Didn’t see me as a girl? If that’s the case, I’ll kill you!”

No, no, no.

What are you talking about? I’ve always seen you as a girl! I’m head over heels for you! But now, a boyfriend…

“Huff, huff… Well, anyway, you can spend Christmas alone. Absolutely alone. Don’t you dare make any plans! If you do, I’ll kill you!”

With that, Sayo’s messages stopped.

Five, ten minutes passed, and my screen stayed dark. Only my own dumbfounded reflection stared back at me. Reality was beginning to sink in.

“…Spend Christmas alone?”

What does she mean by that? Am I supposed to just stay home and be miserable while she enjoys her date?

Sure, we always teased each other, but we were close. We went to school together, spent our free time together, studied in each other’s rooms…

She couldn’t really have a boyfriend. Could she?

“…No way…”

We were always together. I thought maybe we had something special.

“Why, Sayo… why…”

Even if it was a misunderstanding, she could have at least talked to me. If she had, I would’ve done anything to keep her.

“Damn it…”

So, I meant nothing to you?

What was all that time together for…

“Dammit ti…. Dammiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin it…!”

Before I knew it, I was screaming. I pounded the floor in frustration, my voice hoarse with anguish.

“Shut up in there!” my parents and sister yelled from downstairs, but I didn’t care. My little sister is also popular with guys! And my parents are happy! They’re all happy and in love, they wouldn’t understand my pain or my sadness. Right now, all people with fulfilling lives are my enemies.

“What the hell is a boyfriend?! BEGONEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, CHRISSMASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!”

Heartbroken, I screamed my lungs out.

“I told you to shut up! I’ll kill you!”

Then my dad barged in and hit me. I had to stop.

There’s no god in this world, I thought bitterly. Let all the bald guys die.

—

How much time has passed?

10 minutes? 30 minutes? Or maybe a few hours?

With my sense of time completely warped, I sat there, hugging my knees.

“Damn it, damn it…!”

Curses were the only thing leaving my mouth.

Memories of my childhood friend flashed through my mind, one after another, only to vanish just as quickly.

Heartbreak.

Just that one word weighed heavily on my shoulders.

Yes, I was heartbroken. The person I had loved for so long was taken away by some stranger. And of all times, right before Christmas.

They’ll probably take things to the next level soon—maybe even tomorrow night. Just thinking about it drove me insane.

It would take a long time to recover from this shock. Betrayal shatters the mind and corrodes the spirit.

“…I won’t forgive you.”

Except I’m not just anybody.

Wiping my swollen cheeks, I stood up and muttered a single word.

“Christmas? A date with her new boyfriend?”

I grabbed my jacket from the wall and left my room, the door slamming shut behind me.

“They’re going to have fun, then dive into six hours of sex?”

The flames of anger fueled my every step. Something was boiling up deep inside me. The fury of betrayal, and the urge to ruin the adult moments my childhood friend planned to have with another man.

“I won’t forgive this… I absolutely won’t!”

Forgiveness? Not a chance.

I raced down the stairs and out of the house, my entire body surging with unexpected energy.

“Sayo! The one who will be with you is me, Shikahara Yuuji! Not some random guy who came out of nowhere!”

I’m furious! Who the hell does he think he is, taking my girl? I won’t stand for this!

“No matter what, I will stop this! There's no way I'm letting you go on that Christmas date!”

With jealousy towards her unseen boyfriend fueling me, I dashed to the nearby 24-hour supermarket.

—

“Mmm, delicious!”

And now, after spending all night making it, Sayo was licking my special homemade candy. She accepted it without any suspicion, savoring it without a clue. It’s almost laughable how simple she is.

(You don’t even know, huh?)

The candy was laced with a powerful laxative. My dad bought it from overseas because his constipation wouldn't go away. The moment he took it, he spent the whole night in the bathroom, and emerged looking like a mummified corpse the next day. That’s how potent it is.

Since she just ate it, she'll probably be stuck in the bathroom all day. That means her date tomorrow is off. No way she’d show up looking like a mummy.

“It has a refreshing mint flavor. It’s perfect.”

“Glad you like it. It was worth making then.”

Alright, she hasn't noticed anything. Choosing mint flavor to mask the taste was the right call. Everything is going according to plan.

“But why candy this year? Last year, you gave me a mechanical pencil.”

“Well, you have a date with your boyfriend this year. I thought something refreshing would be nice. You lack some delicacy, so consider it a thoughtful gesture from me.”

“No way! I’m not insensitive! I’m really thoughtful!”

Sayo's question made me tense for a moment, but I managed to reply smoothly. Today, I was on my game. I felt like a villain in a crime drama.

“Is that so?”

“Yeah! You’re so rude, Yuuji! You don't see me as a girl, do you? I’ll kill you!”

Seeing Sayo puff up her cheeks like a child made my chest ache.

“Of course not. I’ve always seen you as a girl.”

I had always liked Sayo. When I thought of girls, she was the first one to come to mind. I loved her that much.

“…Really? You mean it?”

Seeing her blush and fidget was enough to make my heart skip a beat. Even knowing she had a boyfriend didn't change my feelings at all.

“Hehehe… Hey, Yuuji, I… Ugh!”

Gururururu…

Yes, even if her face turned pale and an unladylike sound came from her stomach, my feelings wouldn't change.

“What? Why is my stomach…”

(It's working already.)

The effects of the laxative kicked in quickly, just as expected.

“Sayo, what’s wrong? You look pale.”

“No, it’s nothing… Haha… Maybe I stayed up too late last night…”

Feigning ignorance, I talked to her, but she avoided my eyes, holding her stomach. Despite the winter cold, sweat was beading on her forehead.

She had no idea there was a laxative in the candy. Seeing her expression, I was confident in my victory.

“Really? Then you should go home and rest. Sorry for calling you out.”

“No, it’s fine. I just feel a bit off… but yeah, I think I’ll do that… Haha…”

“You don't want to ruin your date tomorrow. You should get some sleep.”

If she can, that is. When my dad took the laxative, he spent the whole night in the bathroom. Sayo will probably be in the same situation. Seeing her reaction firsthand was reassuring.

“Yeah, I will… Thanks for the present… I’ll do my best tomorrow…”

“Sure. Good luck.”

“Ugh! You better not go out with anyone tomorrow… I'm watching you… If you do, I'll kill you… Seriously… I really can’t… Bye… Ooooh…”

Ignoring her desperate cries, I watched her leave. With the state she's in, there's no way she'll make it to her date. She'll be bedridden all day.

(Sorry, Sayo… But you brought this on yourself. You made a boyfriend without telling me.)

She'll try to tough it out, but she'll have to cancel at the last minute. Hopefully, her boyfriend will be so upset that he'll break up with her. That would be ideal.

“I’m really doing something terrible…”

But I don't regret it. I can’t just give up. Watch the girl I love get taken by some random guy and spend six hours in bed with him? No way! I'd rather see Sayo stuck in the bathroom all night.

“At least she won’t get laid! I'm not like other guys who get cheated on!”

Still, I felt guilty. Even though I had to do it to stop her from having sex, I didn't enjoy making Sayo suffer. I would’ve preferred to spike her boyfriend, but I didn’t have the time or even know what he looked like.

Are~?

Hold on… When did Sayo get a boyfriend? I've been with her the whole time. When did she have the chance?

As the cold wind hit me, I shrugged off the lingering doubts and headed home. After staying up all night, I was looking forward to a good sleep tonight.

………………………

…………

……

“Um, my boyfriend suddenly canceled our date… Ugh! I have reservations, so I’ll go on a Christmas date with you, since you don’t have a girlfriend… Haa, haa… You should be grateful… Oops.”

…..

How did it come to this?

It was Christmas Eve the next day. The clock had just passed noon, and it was early afternoon. Just as I finished making the cake, she showed up at my front door.

“Uh, um… Sayo… san…?”

“Haa, haa… Why the questioning tone…? Who else could I be… Ugh! I’m your childhood friend, Shiraishi Sayo… My stomach… hurts…”

Yeah, sorry. I know it’s Sayo.

It’s her voice, though raspy, and her usual twin tails. She’s dressed up in a pink duffle coat and a white scarf for Christmas. It’s clear she was ready to give it her all for the date.

“I mean, you look really unwell…”

Her face was a mess.

She had dark circles under her eyes, her gaze was unfocused and wild, and her pupils were dilated, staring straight at me like a creature from a horror movie.

Her cheeks were sunken like a mummy’s, her lips chapped, and her hair, though styled, was frizzy in places.

To be blunt, she looked like she needed to be rushed to a hospital. She resembled a zombie more than a pretty girl. If she were a rom-com heroine, readers would be furious. That’s how messed up my childhood friend looked.

“Ha ha… I’m fine, really. I feel light as a feather, like I could fly… Argh!”

Her behavior was the worst part.

It wasn’t just weird; it was scary. She kept letting out strange cries.

Behind me, I heard a small scream. That must be my sister. Even she saw how off Sayo was.

“Seriously, are you okay? You look terrible.”

“I’m fine, really. Yo! Come on, let’s go. You didn’t want to be alone on Christmas, right? My boyfriend canceled, so I thought I’d spend it with you. Don’t waste your childhood friend’s kindness… Nebuchadnezzar!!!”

You should be kinder to yourself first.

“Um, Sayo-san? Are you really okay?”

As I stood frozen, my little sister Miyo came closer.

“Oh, Miyo-chan. I’m fine, really. Just got some nasty reality stuck in my stomach. It won’t empty out, you know, ha ha ha.”

“What are you saying, Sayo-san?! Your jokes are outdated and you’re acting weird!”

She tried to reassure Miyo with a thumbs-up, but her hand was shaking.

Anyone could see she wasn’t okay, and Miyo voiced her concern.

“I know it’s been tough. But I’ll make a miracle happen tonight…”

“No, seriously, you look like you’re going to end up in a funeral. Are you sure you shouldn’t be resting?”

Miyo glanced at me. “What’s going on?” she seemed to ask. I wanted to say I didn’t know, but I had a pretty good idea.

(It’s definitely the laxatives from yesterday…)

One day and she changed this much…

I expected something like this, but I didn’t think she’d come over.

“Really, I’m fine. Yuuji, hurry and change. If you keep me waiting too long, things might get… messy…especially your entrance….”

Your joke isn’t funny at all.

“Okay, I’ll change quickly.”

“Hurry up. Really, be quick. Or else…”

Frightened by what she might say next, I ran upstairs.

The entrance was cold and bad for her stomach, so I had no choice.

“Why did Sayo come here…?”

How did it come to this?

If I’d known it would turn out like this, I wouldn’t have given her the laxatives.

I felt the absence of any divine being more acutely than ever on this Christmas Eve as I hurriedly changed my clothes.

—

The Christmas city buzzed with life.

Streetlights adorned with illuminations cast a festive glow, and the streets bustled with people, the lively atmosphere dispelling any chill.

Most of the pedestrians were couples, and it was clear they were lovers. They held hands, exchanged glances, and carried gifts, all wearing smiles.

Today was special, and they were determined to create memorable moments. Without words, they expressed their affection, making Christmas perhaps the kindest day of the year.

But exceptions exist in everything.

“Ah!”

The street is a public space, even for pedestrians. You can’t always watch your partner; you need to look ahead to avoid collisions, especially in crowded places like in front of the station.

“Huh? What’s wrong… whoa!”

Yet, why does it seem like the crowd parts before me like the Red Sea?

“What is that? A ghost? No, something more evil…”

“Stop, don’t look! You’ll be cursed!”

Why are the happy couples now pale with fear, avoiding my gaze as if they’ve seen a monster? They hasten away, trying to escape reality.

It's strange, I don't understand it at all.

“I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I can endure, I can endure, I can endure, I can endure, I can endure, I can endure, I can endure, I can endure, I can endure, I can endure, I can endure, I can endure, I can endure, I can endure, I can endure, I can endure, I can endure, I can endure, I can endure, I can endure, I can endure, I can endure, I can endure, aaaaah… don't come, don't come, don't come, don't come, don't come, don't come, don't come, don't come, don't come, don't come, don't come, don't come, don't come, don't come, don't come, don't come, don't come, don't come, don't come, don't come, don't come, don't come, don't come, don't come, don't come.”

Even though there's just a former beautiful girl next to me, staring ahead with wide eyes and muttering curses endlessly, you know?✩

Honestly, why is this happening? It’s so strange, ha ha ha ha.

“Stay away!”

“!!!”

Her sudden shout makes everyone around us, including me, jump in fear. All eyes are now on her, not me.

“The wave… the big wave is coming… stay away!”

Standing in the middle of the street, yelling like that, she's bound to attract attention. She looks completely unhinged.

…Yeah, let’s face reality. It’s pointless to escape. Life is fleeting, and today I’ve realized that.

“Hoaaa, ha, haaahhh!”

Beside me, she trembles, hunched over, fists clenched. It looks like she’s gathering energy, but we both know it's something else. Out of respect for her dignity, I won't comment further. Even though her outbursts make it clear she’s beyond caring about such things.

One thing is certain: she's been enduring these waves of pain repeatedly since we left the house.

“Phew… I did it… the wave passed. This one was like a big bang class attack.”

(Just go to the bathroom already!!!)

I want to scream that. I've tried to hint at it every time we pass a convenience store, but she won't listen.

“Bathroom? Don't be silly. Girls don't use the bathroom on Christmas.”

She insists on this absurd idea. But clearly, she’s struggling with the waves of pain, pushing herself to the limit.

“Hey, Sayo, can you finally tell me where we’re going? We must be close by now, right?”

I ask, hoping to reach our destination soon to avoid further trouble.

“Oh, yeah. You can see it from here. It's over there.”

She points, and I follow her gaze.

“What the…?”

Seeing the sign, I'm speechless. Normally, it's a classic date spot, but now it looks like the entrance to hell. It's a movie theater, bustling with people.

“Let’s watch a movie! Don't worry, I've got two tickets. It's my treat. And Pegasus, I don't need any drinks or snacks…”

“Wait!”

I grab her shoulder, stopping her.

“Ah! Sorry.”

She shudders, clearly in pain. I feel bad, but it confirms my suspicion.

“Don't touch me. Girls are delicate, you know.”

Sure, that’s one way to put it. But sitting through a movie is too much. Anyone who's been a student knows that.

“Hey, let's skip the movie. Sitting for so long might be tough. How about karaoke instead?”

“No, I want to watch the movie. I’ve been looking forward to it. I'm definitely watching it.”

“Really…?”

Is she serious? Given her condition, this is practically suicide, socially speaking.

“Then at least let me go to the bathroom…”

“We’re done with that topic. I mean, I don’t even want to go to the bathroom. Not at all. I seriously don’t want to go. Besides, girls don’t even poop, you know!? Ugh… ohhhh!!! No wayyyy!!! Huff!!! UOOOOOOOOO!!!”

“Whoa!?”

Don't shout! It's obvious you're struggling.

“Gruuu… I-If I say we’re watching, then we’re watching… This is a date, so… watching a movie is part of a date. If we don’t watch, I’ll kill you, and then I’ll die too…!”

“A-alright, alright.”

Despite the madness of her decision, she's determined to see the movie. I can’t persuade her otherwise.

“You wanted to see it that badly…”

If she's this insistent, she must really want to see it, especially with her boyfriend. Without the stomachache, it would be perfect.

Suppressing the sting of sympathy, we enter the theater.

—

“Wheeze… wheeze…phewwwwwww~”

“H-hey, are you alive?”

Stepping out of the movie theater, Sayo was on the brink of death.

It might sound ridiculous, but she was genuinely on her last legs.

Her face was past groggy and had taken on a sallow hue, to the point where you had to marvel at how she could hold it in so long.

I was practically dragging her along, offering my shoulder for support, but the stares from people around us were quite painful.

Well, it’s far too late to care now, but I hated that I was starting to get used to this situation.

“It’s… it’s over, right…?”

“Yeah, it’s over. You lasted 150 minutes. You did well, really.”

Sayo looked up at me with dead eyes, resembling a battle-weary veteran who’d seen it all, her spark gone, crushed by the never-ending fight.

When I gave her a small smile, she returned it. But her face still lacked any vitality. It was clear she was at her limit.

“I’m glad… I managed to do it…”

“Yeah. We caused some trouble for the people around us, though.”

I deliberately avoided mentioning what had happened inside the theater.

It’s all in the past now.

“Let’s go home, Sayo.”

Right, there’s no point in dwelling on what’s over.

Today has made me painfully aware that prolonging things doesn’t solve anything.

“Let’s go home. And that will be the end of today’s date.”

“Eh…”

“And you need to go to the bathroom. You’ve been holding it for way too long. Once you’ve relieved yourself, go on another date with your boyfriend tomorrow.”

That would be best for you, right? For you too.

I thought I was being firm, but…

“…No.”

For some reason, Sayo clung to my arm.

“Hey…”

“The date’s not over yet. I still want to see the illuminations, and also…”

As she trailed off, I saw a flutter of white out of the corner of my eye.

“Oh, snow…”

It was snow. White flakes falling on Christmas, a gift from the sky. People around us were looking up, watching the snow fall.

“A white Christmas, huh…”

It’s so enchanting, so romantic.

(I wish I could…)

I wanted to keep gazing at it forever, and I almost got lost in that thought…

Grrrrrrumble

“Huh?”

What was that noise? It sounded really close by.

“Huh, huh, waaaaahhh!!!”

“S-Sayo!?”

I turned to see Sayo letting out a strange cry, looking like she was about to die.

“Of course! The snow’s making your stomach colder…! Hey, are you okay, Sayo? Hey!”

“Haa, haa… Yuuji… listen…”

As I called out to her, the fantasy shattered, and I was dragged back to the harsh reality. Sayo’s faint voice was so weak that it seemed like it could blow away any moment.

“Here, climb on my back! If I sprint home, maybe you’ll still make it…!”

“I lied.”

As I tried to turn around to carry her, her faint whisper made me freeze.

“Lied…?”

“Yeah, I lied. I don’t have a boyfriend. I don’t have one yet.”

For a moment, I couldn’t comprehend it.

I couldn’t wrap my head around why she was telling me this now.

“Why would you lie about that…”

“I thought if I said that, you’d notice me. I thought Yuuji didn’t see me as a girl.”

“So that means…”

“I hoped you’d get jealous. I wished you’d tell me not to go on the date. I’m a coward. If you had said that, I thought maybe we could move forward. It was a cowardly thought. And I should have given up when you handed me the candy, but I clung on so pathetically. It’s so pathetic, isn’t it?”

Sayo said she must have been punished for being such a girl.

“A coward who can’t muster the courage to confess on Christmas wouldn’t have their wish granted. I got a stomachache because it’s God’s punishment. And as a result, I showed you such a pathetic side of me. You’ve probably lost all interest in me, right?”

“That’s not…”

“You don’t have to comfort me. I know it myself. It would be strange if I didn’t.”

No. That’s not it.

It’s not a punishment. I… I was the one who put laxatives in your drink.

I couldn’t bear to let you go to some boyfriend I didn’t even know, so I did something weak.

“―So, I did at least have a charm.”

As I struggled to find the words to reply, Sayo said something like that.

“A charm…?”

“Yeah. It’s a stupid thought, but I decided. If I could go the whole day without using the bathroom on today’s date, I would tell you how I felt. That way, whatever the result, I could keep it as a beautiful memory. I did my best. Even though I caused so much trouble.”

Really, I was stupid.

Sayo laughed with a pale face.

Her face still looked terrible, and the snow stuck to it, making it even paler. But even so, to me, her face was

“I like you, Yuuji.”

It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

“Sayo…”

“Ah, I finally said it.”

Sayo smiled brightly.

She was truly, incredibly beautiful.

Like a candle about to burn out,

“And, I’m sorry.”

“Huh?”

Why apologize all of a sudden?

“I can’t hold it anymore.”

“Huh?”

“I can’t. It’s coming out. I’m at my limit. I’m going to die.”

“Huh?”

Tears began to form at the corners of her previously smiling eyes, and she started trembling.

“Hey, wait! Don’t give up!!”

“It’s coming outtttttttt!!! My butt’s at its limittttttt!!! It’s begging to come outtttttttttttt!!!!! POOP IS COMINGGGG DESSUUUUUUUUUU!!”

“Noooooooooooooooo!!!!!!”

“I can’t hold it anymoreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!”

Grabbing the trembling Sayo onto my back, I sprinted through the night streets.

—

“Made it… just in time…”

About an hour later.

We were sitting on a bench in a certain park.

“That was a close one…”

“I’ll never do something so stupid again… I mean, I must have lost my mind… I want to die…”

I gently patted Sayo’s head, which she was hiding with her hands. It was my way of comforting her.

“No, it would be a problem if you died. I mean… I just got a girlfriend, and if you left me, I’d be sad.”

“Huh?”

“No, I mean, you know. That’s what I mean.”

I turned away after saying that. It wasn’t just to comfort her. Well, after hearing that, I had to respond, right?

“You mean…”

“Ahhh! That’s right! We’re going to be a couple from now on!”

Saying it again made me feel incredibly embarrassed!

Did all the couples in town go through something like this to get together?

Everyone’s amazing. Well, maybe not as intense as us, though.

“Yuuji!”

“Come on, let’s go home. It’s not good to catch a cold.”

As I stood up, I extended my hand to my newly formed girlfriend. This was the best expression of affection I could manage at the moment.

Ah, damn. I can’t say it right.

“Okay! Oh, but wait a moment. Since we’re here, let’s do another good luck charm…”

“Huh?”

As she said this, Sayo rummaged through her pockets,

“Ah!”

She pulled out two star-shaped candies and popped them into her mouth.

“Oh no…”

“Hehehe, for me and Yuuji to have a long-lasting relationship… ugh!?”

Grrruuuummmbbllleee!!!

Immediately, there was the sound of her stomach grumbling for the third time today. And it was the loudest rumble yet.

“H-H-HoOoOoOoOoOo!!! W-Why now!? Why do I have to poop now!??”

“Hey, that candy had a laxative in it! Eating two at once, of course…”

“Laxative?”

Creeeaaak.

Sayo’s neck turned towards me with a mechanical sound.

“Uh oh.”

“Hey, what do you mean by laxative?”

Oh, Sayo. There’s no light in your eyes. And you’re looking really scary.

That’s not how you look at your boyfriend, right?

“Um, let’s get you to a bathroom…”

“Laxative? What’s that?”

“Bath…”

“What’s that?”

No good.

There’s no way to deceive her.

“W-Well, you see… When I heard you got a boyfriend, I just lost my temper…”

“Uh-huh.”

“I thought you might get into the six hours of sex on Christmas, and I got so angry that I wanted to interfere… make the toilet your lover… hehe…”

“Uh-huh.”

“So, I put laxative in the candy as a prank✩! Spur-of-the-moment decisions are scary, aren’t they♪”

I tried to give her a lovely smile.

By the way, Sayo was expressionless✩ hehe♪

“Oh, laxative… I see…”

“So, are you mad?”

Of course, she’d be mad. If it were me, I’d be furious.

So I was prepared for that, but…

“No, I’m not mad.”

Sayo gave me a big smile.

“R-Really?”

“Of course. I have a big heart, so I wouldn’t get angry over something like this. We’ve just started dating, and I wouldn’t want us to break up over this.”

Seriously!?

She’s a saint. Ah, I’m so lucky to have such a girlfriend…

“Instead, eat this.”

What… the… huh?

“Uh, why are you holding the whole bag of candies?”

“Eat them all. Don’t leave any.”

No, what? No, that’s impossible. There are still about ten left because I made too many in my haste.

Eating that much would kill me.

“A-Are you really not mad?”

“I’m not mad.”

“Then maybe I don’t have to…”

“Shut up, or I’ll kill you.”

“Eh?”

“I’ll kill you if you don’t eat.”

Her eyes were serious.

She looked like she could kill without hesitation.

Those were the eyes she had.

“Eat, or I’ll kill you.”

“……”

“I’ll kill you.”

Yeah.

This is impossible.

I ran with all my might.

“You’re not getting away.”

Sayo chased after me at full speed.

Her stomach must be grumbling, but she was incredibly fast.

“You are mad after all!!!”

“Of course I am! What do you think you’re doing to a maiden, you jerk! Eat those candies!!!”

“That’s impossibleeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!”

“I’m gonna kill youuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!”

Is this really how a couple who just started dating should be?

I don’t know. Not knowing, we ran through the Christmas night streets.

It was supposed to be a Christmas, but it was a night so hot that it felt like we were burning up.

By the way, on the 25th, both of us were found collapsed from dehydration in front of my house by my sister and ended up in the hospital. We must have been complete idiots.

Candies? Let me just say, I ate all the candies and almost died.

Anyway, I’ve sworn off putting laxatives in presents. Merry Christmas… or rather, Merry Agony.