Chapter 17: Forgiveness

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Translator: Soafp

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[Shiho PoV]

“We actually scored against the ace pitcher of a powerhouse school!”

“Wow, going up against someone who might go pro someday? That's amazing.”

It had been a few dozen minutes since the mixer had started.

I had been a nervous wreck before arriving, but after managing to get through the introductions, I was finally starting to feel like myself.

“Nah, the real amazing story is still to come!”

The guys, a few drinks in, were getting increasingly lively in their conversation.

Everyone else seemed to be enjoying themselves as well.

“Um, Asano-kun, do you play any sports?”

“Ah… no. I don't, really.”

Haruki, who was sitting across from me, answered the question calmly while eating.

He didn't look like he was enjoying himself.

No, more than that…

(Haruki… you've gotten so handsome…)

We were just sitting across from each other, listening in on the others' conversation while quietly eating.

And every so often, I found myself sneaking glances at him… and our eyes would meet.

We hadn't exchanged any words, but just sharing a table and having a meal with him like this—when was the last time that happened?

My heart felt a little lighter, like time was moving more slowly, and I felt… strangely at peace.

(I wonder what Haruki is thinking…)

Earlier, I was dreading this whole mixer thing, but now… I found myself wishing this moment alone with him would never end.

“Hey, Shiho. When we came into the room earlier, didn't you call Asano-kun by name? Do you two know each other?”

My friend from the table tennis club, sitting beside me, pulled me back to reality with her question.

“Eh… ah, yeah.”

“Really!? So what's your relationship!?”

What is my relationship with Haruki, really…?

We were childhood friends… but with the way Haruki had been keeping his distance, I couldn't exactly say that now…

“Shiraki and I went to the same middle school as Fukase-san.”

Just as I was struggling to answer, Haruki offered a safe explanation in my place.

It made my chest ache just a little—to hear him refer to me so formally, as “Fukase-san”…

“Wait, are you really that Fukase-san from our middle school!? Wow, what a crazy coincidence!”

The guy who had been chatting happily with Azusa—Shiraki—looked at me and raised his voice in surprise.

(Ah… that's why he looked familiar. We went to the same middle school.)

“No way! That really is a crazy coincidence! This is like fate bringing you back together!”

Now that our connection had been revealed, the room started buzzing with excitement.

“Come to think of it, I remember Asano and Fukase being pretty close back then.”

Shiraki's unnecessary comment only added fuel to the fire, making the group even more excited.

“Are we about to witness a sweet reunion and the start of a new couple!?”

“Totally! Shiho and Asano-kun actually look really good together!”

I was a bit shaken by how quickly the atmosphere had shifted, but Haruki remained calm, responding to the teasing in a detached, nonchalant manner.

“Excuse me, I'm just going to use the restroom for a moment.”

Amid the commotion, Azusa suddenly stood up. Our eyes met.

“I'll come too.”

Taking the chance, I followed her out of the lively room.

---

“You okay, Shiho?”

Now alone with Azusa in the spacious restroom of the izakaya.

“Yeah. I was a little flustered earlier, but I didn't feel that nervous around the guys.”

Somehow… I felt oddly calm. Different from usual.

Being in the same space as Haruki… I wonder if it's his presence that makes me feel at ease?

“Hey, just a thought, but… is the childhood friend you mentioned before actually Asano-kun?”

“Eh… yeah. It is. You figured it out?”

“I had a hunch. You two weren't really talking to each other.”

I wanted to talk to him… but after seeing him again for the first time in so long, I didn't know how to start.

And besides, I'm sure Haruki… probably doesn't like me anymore.

“Shiho, this is your chance!”

“Huh? Chance for what?”

“To clear the air from the past! You should try talking with him, just the two of you.”

Just the two of us… Haruki and me…?

“I don't even know what I'd say…”

“Come on, there's plenty to talk about! Like what you've been up to, or how life's been.”

“But…”

“Just leave it to me. I'll steer things in that direction, subtly.”

“Eh!? Wait, Azusa—!”

Before I could stop her, Azusa had already left the restroom.

(If I really end up alone with Haruki… what would I even do…?)

I spent a moment collecting my thoughts alone, then made my way back to the mixer.

---

“This place was pretty great, huh?”

“Yeah, the food was really good.”

After about two hours at the izakaya, we finally left the restaurant.

All the guys had been easy to talk to, and it seemed like everyone had enjoyed themselves.

“So, where should we go next?”

“How about karaoke?”

“Oh! Sounds good!”

Everyone agreed on karaoke for the afterparty.

The alcohol had lifted everyone's spirits, especially the guys, who were now even more energetic.

“Sorry. I'm going to head home.”

Just as the group started to move toward the karaoke place, Haruki spoke up.

He explained he had a quiz at university tomorrow and needed to study.

“Aww, Asano-kun's leaving?”

“Yeah, he actually only came to help even out the numbers. So let's let him go.”

Shiraki said it apologetically, and the others seemed to accept it without issue.

(Haruki… he's really leaving… even though we finally got to see each other again…)

Even though I didn't have the courage to speak to him, I still felt this bitter reluctance welling up inside.

“Oh, by the way, Shiho—are you okay on time? Don't you have a curfew?”

“Eh? Curfew?”

I didn't really have one…

That's what I thought for a second, but then I caught on to what Azusa meant.

“Eh!? You're leaving too, Fukase-san? That's too bad!”

“Well, it can't be helped, right? Asano-kun, why don't you walk Shiho home? It's already dark.”

Azusa winked at me as she spoke, giving me a little push forward.

“Alright then, let's head to karaoke! Asano-kun, take care of Shiho, okay?”

Without waiting for Haruki's response, Azusa swiftly wrapped up the conversation and guided everyone along.

“See you around, Fukase-san! Let's hang out again sometime!”

“Thanks for today, Asano-kun!”

Everyone said their goodbyes to us.

It was the last day of the long holiday, and the streets were crowded. The group quickly disappeared into the crowd.

(Wh-what do I do now… I'm really alone with Haruki…)

I had vaguely hoped for this moment… that I might get a chance to be alone with him.

But now that it had actually happened, I was getting nervous again.

How long had it been… since it was just the two of us?

No… he might not be happy about this situation…

Haruki might not even want to be around me for a single second…

(What am I getting so excited for…?)

“Um… actually, maybe I should just go alone…”

I mustered up the courage to speak, but my weak voice, trembling with nervousness, was drowned out by the surrounding crowd.

“Hey… hey, are you okay?”

“Ah… uh…?”

I couldn't respond right away, surprised that Haruki had spoken to me after I got discouraged by my own cowardice.

“Are you feeling sick or something?”

“Ah, no. I'm fine.”

The way he looked into my eyes with concern—it was just like the kind Haruki I remembered…

“Alright, then. Let's go home. I'll walk you.”

“Eh… o-okay!”

Being alone with him and walking home together like this—

The negative thoughts I had moments ago were gone without a trace…

My heart was simpler than I thought.

---

We got on the train and returned to our hometown—the place we were both born and raised—after a long time.

We got off at the nearest station and walked about fifteen minutes, but I savored every step walking beside him.

“You lied about having a curfew, didn't you?”

“Eh… y-yeah.”

“Basically, you just wanted to leave early, right?”

“Pretty much… What about you, Haruki? Don't tell me your college exams were a lie too. You just wanted to leave, didn't you?”

I was surprised…

Haruki was talking to me—me—like nothing ever happened.

“Yeah. I only went to that mixer because I was asked to fill a seat. You too, right?”

“Y-yeah, I guess.”

In my case, I joined for some vague reason like trying to get used to guys…

“But still, that's impressive. Mizubayashi University, huh? You're still as smart as ever.”

“You're the impressive one. Koo University is no joke.”

“Yeah, it was tough. Unlike Shiraki, who got in through a sports scholarship.”

He cracked a light joke, and there was no awkwardness between us.

I could respond without feeling tense.

It really felt like we had gone back to the old days…

“You didn't look like you were enjoying the mixer much.”

“Well, to be honest, I wasn't interested. Sorry to everyone, but I just wanted it to be over.”

If he wasn't interested in the mixer… does that mean… he has a girlfriend…?

“You didn't look like you were enjoying it either, you know?”

“I'm just not used to those kinds of settings…”

“Is that so? I thought maybe your stomach hurt or something.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Well, you went to the bathroom and didn't come back for a while.”

Back then, I just needed time to collect my thoughts in the bathroom… and ended up taking longer than I meant to.

“I was just fixing my makeup, that's why I was late.”

“Oh, so you weren't taking a dump.”

“I was not!”

A smile broke across my face.

Haruki talking to me so freely—it really was just like the old days…

“Ishii-san, right? She mentioned you. Said you’re taking grad school entrance exams. If you pass, you get a merit-based scholarship, right?”

“Ah, yeah. And you’re job hunting?”

“Yep. Deep in the trenches.”

The grad school I'm applying to is in Osaka, and if I pass…

We probably wouldn't be bumping into each other like this anymore…

While we were chatting, we arrived in front of my house in no time.

This nostalgic, joyful time was about to end… and I didn't want it to.

I wanted to be with him longer.

“Are you going back to your parents' house across the street?”

“Nah, I'm heading back to my apartment. My dad's younger sister and her husband are living there now.”

“Oh, I see. Is your dad doing well? He was working in America, right?”

“No, he came back to Japan two years ago. He lives in Kansai now and works from there.”

Kansai…

“He calls me every week. Asking if I'm doing okay, if I'm eating properly, stuff like that.”

“Well, that's just what parents do. They worry.”

“Lately he's been going, ‘Why don't you join the same company as me?' and stuff.”

“Same company? In Kansai… Wait, you mean Osaka!?”

“Huh? Yeah. Why?”

“Ah… no reason.”

What am I imagining?

I pass the entrance exam for the university in Osaka. Haruki gets a job at a company in Osaka. And then…

“Well, I'm heading off.”

“O-okay… thanks for walking me.”

“Yeah. See you.”

“Wait!”

The words slipped out.

As I watched him turn to leave, I couldn't help but call out.

“Hm? What is it?”

“Um…”

That's right… I need to apologize.

Haruki was treating me like he used to, and I was happy…

But this wasn't the time to get carried away.

“Um! About back in middle school… I'm really sorry!”

I bowed deeply and apologized to Haruki.

Even if he doesn't forgive me… even if he lashes out, I deserve it.

Because it was all… my fault.

“Raise your head.”

His voice suddenly turned serious, unlike before, and my body tensed up.

“Let me be clear while we're at it.”

When I looked up, Haruki's face was nothing but sincere.

“I don't feel anything about what happened back then anymore.”

Why…?

“Come on, we were just kids. Everyone makes mistakes.”

Why are you saying that…?

“So let's just put it behind us. Don't worry about it anymore.”

You're… forgiving me…?

“You don't… hate me…?”

“I don't hate you…”

He gave me a soft smile and answered gently.

“See you, Fukase.”

Once his figure disappeared down the road, the tension in my body melted away, and tears flowed naturally.

‘Fukase'… that's what he called me.

Even if I take his words as forgiveness…

I told myself that to him, I was still someone he kept at a distance.