Chapter 10: My luck in love.

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Translated and Edited by: luccayn.
Double-whammy!

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“Well… Your first love was Lyla, so I figured you had something going on inside.”

“H, huh?! H–How did you know?!”

I felt my heart almost stop at his sudden statement. Never in my life had I ever told anyone about my first love, not even my own parents. How did he even find it out?

“Lyla and I are engaged with an emphasis on the royalist connection of our families, so we're more friends than a couple at the moment. I told you, Rou, I know you well. I was there by your side when your eyes wandered in her direction.”

“Does Lyla…”

“I don't know. She sees you as a rival, and she's proud of it.”

I laughed at his words, having known from the very beginning she had never seen me as a possible romantic interest.

“…It's true she's my first love,” I started. “But now I see her as just a friend, and will keep doing so.”

“What triggered you to fall in love with her?” Rein asked.

“It was a very small thing. When we were in the same class and met for the first time, Lyla looked me in the eyes and told me they had a beautiful color.”

That was all it took… That was all it took for me to fall in love for the first time in my life. I had heard, once, that love is a fleeting thing, and that's exactly what it was.

“Strangely enough, countess Lulu said the same thing to me when we first met. I was so surprised to see how alike sisters could be.”

From the moment we met, Lyla was already educated to become the next head of the family. Thus, at age thirteen, she was engaged to be married to Rein.

That girl was someone I couldn't marry from the very beginning; someone I couldn't ever fall in love with. The second I did, my heart was already meant to be broken. It was inevitable, and I knew it… Still, in the deepest crevices of my heart, I couldn't just let that feeling go. It was then that I met countess Lulu, and soon after betrothed to her.

After much agonizing and worrying, I eventually accepted the engagement. However, being in a relationship with her made me realize that, although sisters, the two were very much different people.

Immediately after, I started seeing her as a cute girl, separate from the one I loved first. With time, I saw she was more lovely than the other girls.

“I became countess Lulu's fiancé, and I don't regret it despite everything. At first, I was troubled because she pushed me around, but whenever I'd see her smile, I knew it was for the best. If we got married—I thought back then—I would try my hardest to make her happy, all so she could smile even more.”

“…I see. You really loved her.”

“…Y, yeah… I did…”

Eventually, I realized she was getting bored of me, but I still wanted to be by her side so badly. It was to the point where jealousy consumed me from the inside out, like a worm, as I saw the numerous men surrounding my fiancé.

I liked her.
I liked her.
I liked her.
I… loved her.

“I… I have no luck in love…”

Tears welled up without permission. Unlike in that night gala, where it would be unbecoming of a noble to cry publicly, I couldn't stop myself.

“Maybe you're right.”

Rein gently moved next to me and handed me a cloth.

“…T, this is the one you used t, to clean the spilled alcohol…”

“Ah, sorry.”

That night, I cried. I laughed. Then I cried some more, drank, and cried again. And before I knew it, morning had broken through the dusk. The sunlight hit my eyes, but by then, my tears had already dried up.

I have these precious memories of falling in love with Lyla, and of loving countess Lulu, despite losing both of them. Regardless, these memories were important to me.

My heart would still ache from time to time, but from today on, I could move forward. I felt this certainty rising from my bowels as I looked out the window at the sunrise, sitting in this alcohol-reeking room.

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