Chapter 33: Precious Individuality

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Translator: Soafp

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“That's Aizawa-kun, right?”

“Yeah. He's amazing, isn't he? He came in first place by a huge margin on the end-of-year exams.”

I could feel people's eyes on me just from walking down the school hallway.

“So, Aizawa-kun, what do you usually do? What are your hobbies?”

Even in the classroom, all kinds of people came up to talk to me.

“Do you have any tips for studying? I'm really bad at science subjects.”

A transfer student who had arrived only a short while ago had suddenly become the top student in the school.

I had expected to attract attention, but…

“What are you thinking about doing after graduation? Going to university, I assume? With your grades, you could definitely get into a good university.”

Ah… Right. It used to be like this.

When I first entered Kaimei Gakuen High School before transferring, everyone gathered around me and tried to talk to me.

“Ah… As for my plans after graduation, I'm still… thinking about it.”

At both my previous school and this one, the reason people treated me so well was simply because I was a little better at studying than everyone else.

But eventually, my grades dropped, and I became someone nobody paid any attention to…

“With grades like yours, Aizawa-kun, you're definitely going to university, right? Though there are quite a few people at this school who get jobs after graduating.”

Getting a job, huh…

At my previous school, everyone seemed to be planning to go to university. I had never even imagined working immediately after graduation.

“Oh, speaking of which… I wonder how she did this time.”

Several classmates who had gathered around my desk began whispering among themselves.

“She probably failed again. The teachers are always getting on her case.”

In a seat at the corner of the classroom, a female student sat alone, isolated from everyone else and playing with her phone.

Shizuku Saito was occasionally the subject of gossip like this.

She probably knew they were talking about her.

Even so, she showed no sign of caring.

Seeing her in this situation, I couldn’t help but see my former self in Shizuku.

Before transferring, I had clearly stood out from everyone else.

Of course, I had been aware of it, but it wasn’t as though I had absolutely no one to talk to.

I had a best friend who cared about me, and a childhood friend who had feelings for me… There really had been people by my side.

But she… Shizuku had no one.

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“Is your mother going to be working a lot of night shifts from now on?”

“Yeah. Apparently they're short-staffed, so it looks like it'll be like this for a while.”

After school, once we returned home, Shizuku and I made it a daily routine to gather in one of our rooms and study the lessons we had learned while preparing for the ones ahead.

Today, we were studying in the living room of Shizuku's house.

Until recently, she had hated studying that much, but lately, she had been putting a lot of effort into it.

“Hey, Shizuku, why did you suddenly decide to start working so hard at studying?”

“That's because… on the last test, I… couldn't get sixty points in every subject…”

The deal was that if she met that goal, I would have to do whatever she asked as her reward.

“Even so, that's pretty impressive. Before this, you often scored below average, but this time you got above that in every subject.”

“It's not impressive. I… wanted to get at least sixty points.”

Shizuku muttered that with a slightly frustrated expression before returning her gaze to the textbook and continuing to write.

She had called it a reward, but had she really wanted me to do something that badly?

“Shizuku… I told you before, but I don’t have any money.”

“Huh? Why are you suddenly saying that? I already know you're poor.”

Maybe I was only feeling sorry for Shizuku.

I had arbitrarily compared the way she was treated at school to my own past…

“No… You're going to order me to do something, right? I said I'd do it.”

“Huh? …Really?”

Shizuku's eyes widened, as though she hadn’t expected me to say that.

“Yeah, well… You're still working hard at studying, so if it's something I can do, sure.”

She probably wouldn’t ask me to spend any money, and if it helped motivate Shizuku even a little, then that was fine with me.

“Just… wait here.”

Shizuku stood up and left the living room with a strangely solemn expression.

I thought she would be back right away, but even after several minutes, she still hadn’t returned.

Just as I was beginning to wonder if she had gone to the bathroom, Shizuku finally came back.

“What were you doing? You took a while.”

“Ah… yeah…”

For some reason, Shizuku spoke weakly as she carried something in both hands.

“What's that? Drawing paper?”

“A sketchbook… I use it when I draw.”

“You can draw, Shizuku?”

“Well, a little…”

I had no idea she had a hobby like that.

Then again, we hadn’t known each other for very long, so I suppose it was only natural.

“Is that what you meant when you said you were going to order me to do something?”

“…Yeah.”

Shizuku said nothing more and simply held the sketchbook out to me.

“Can I look?”

Shizuku silently nodded, and I opened the sketchbook.

“You drew these, Shizuku!?”

I was stunned by the drawings inside.

The powerful lines and breathtakingly intricate details gave the artwork an incredible sense of presence, and I was captivated by it.

“T-This is amazing! I had no idea you had this kind of talent, Shizuku!”

The people and animals she had drawn, from men and women of all ages to dogs and cats, were full of movement and vitality.

Even ordinary objects like dishes and tables had been drawn with incredible delicacy.

I was completely captivated by Shizuku's drawings.

I knew absolutely nothing about art, but I was moved by the fact that a girl my age could create something this incredible.

I wanted to see more of Shizuku's drawings.

Thinking that, I eagerly flipped through the sketchbook.

“Huh? That's all?”

There was still nearly half of the sketchbook left blank, so I felt disappointed that I couldn’t see more of Shizuku's drawings.

“My dad, before he died, bought me that sketchbook. So I only use it when I truly feel like I want to draw something.”

She looked terribly sad as she said that.

“…I see. Your father who passed away…”

I knew Shizuku lived with only her mother, but this was the first time she had ever told me anything about her family.

“You must have drawn an incredible amount to get your art to this level, right?”

“I wonder… I always liked drawing, so it never felt like a struggle. Normally, I just doodle on the backs of advertisements and things like that.”

I could tell that the first drawing in the sketchbook had probably been made many years ago.

Even to an untrained eye like mine, it was obvious that her drawing ability had improved dramatically when I compared it to the most recent picture.

“I started drawing in this when I was in elementary school… There was someone who praised my drawings back then… and that made me really happy.”

The sharp-tempered Shizuku now had a gentle expression on her face.

“Back then, I really was terrible at studying, and I didn’t fit in at school… Well, I still don’t. For someone like me, drawing was the only thing I truly liked.”

Apparently, after her father died, her mother had been too busy with work and housework to spend much time with her.

“But one day, some of my classmates at elementary school made fun of me for drawing… It was really painful.”

Perhaps that was why the Shizuku I knew now avoided getting involved with other people.

Having something you love rejected by others must be painful.

“At a time like that, I met someone who praised my drawings so much. Just like you do now, Yamato.”

“I see. So that made you really happy, Shizuku.”

“Yeah. After that, I drew every day. I had fun. But… even I had someone I thought was a friend… and that person told me, ‘Drawing won’t be useful for you in the future, so you should study instead.' That really hurt.”

Something that had given her a reason to live had been denied.

“You showed that friend your drawings, so you must have trusted them.”

“Yeah. That friend often helped me with my studies too… I think I admired them without even realizing it.”

Apparently, Shizuku stopped drawing after that.

“Yamato… I want you to be my model.”

“Model? You want to draw me?”

“Yeah. I’ve hardly ever drawn people while looking at an actual model. I always use pictures from the internet. So…”

Right. Shizuku didn’t have anyone she could casually ask to be her model.

“Uh… sure. If you’re okay with me.”

“R-Really?”

Shizuku asked me that with a slightly surprised expression.

“What? If that’s all you want, it’s no big deal.”

Something must have happened that made her want to draw again.

“Yamato… I’m not as good at studying as the people around me, and I have this kind of personality…”

…I see.

So the way she normally acted was a defense mechanism.

“I think you’re a much more amazing person than you realize, Shizuku.”

Even on the last test, she had managed to score above average because she’d worked at it little by little every day.

“I… can’t study like you can, Yamato.”

“I could never draw something this incredible like you can, Shizuku.”

She had such an amazing talent of her own…

“Whether it’s drawing or studying, either one is fine.”

I closed the sketchbook and handed it back to Shizuku.

“So, what should I do? Just sit on the floor or something?”

It hurts to see this girl, who had such low self-esteem, limiting her own potential.

I sat down where I was, and Shizuku also lowered herself to the floor and opened the sketchbook.

“Are you sure you can draw in that sketchbook? You said you only use it when you truly feel like drawing something.”

“Yeah. I… want to draw you, Yamato.”

“Me…?”

“You… praised my drawings so much…”

Shizuku looked into my eyes and continued speaking.

“The person who praised my drawings back then…”

That person…?

“…I thought it felt just like back then… It made me really happy.”

I could see tears welling up in Shizuku's eyes.

Perhaps because she didn’t want me to see her cry, she hurriedly rubbed her eyes.

“If you’re okay with me, I’ll be your model anytime. Though, I guess there’s not much point in drawing the same person over and over.”

“No, that’s not necessarily true. I could have you pose in different ways. I’d even like to try a nude drawing sometime.”

“Huh!? Nude…? I’m not really comfortable taking my clothes off…”

“Haha, I’m just kidding.”

I think that was the first time I’d ever seen Shizuku laugh so happily.

“Yamato…”

But…

“Hmm?”

I wonder why…?

“Thank you. Really.”

Shizuku hid her mouth behind the sketchbook and shyly thanked me.

And yet… I felt like I knew this version of Shizuku somehow.