Chapter 87: The Answer Beyond the Tears

Reading Settings

Translator: Soafp

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[Aoi PoV]

I arrived at the café in the hotel lobby much earlier than the meeting time.

There was no real reason to rush, but before I knew it, my feet had brought me here. I shrunk against the cold outside and made my way to a seat at the far corner of the café.

The shop's calm atmosphere wasn't crowded, probably because it was a quiet weekend afternoon. Every time the sound of small cups clinked, my heart slowly settled.

“What would you like to order?”

The waiter asked, and without opening the menu, I simply answered, “Tea.”

A slightly hot tea. Not too sweet, not too bitter—just a warm drink that slowly slid down my throat. That was all I needed.

Once the cup was brought to me, I slowly opened my bag and took out a book.

The novel written by Hajime— “Two and One.”

“Try reading it again with courage… I’m sure it will help you, Aoi.”

Those words that Yasu had said to me on the phone passed through my mind.

I had flipped through this book many times, reading it over and over. But the last part, I still hadn’t been able to read.

— I’m scared.

That was my honest feeling.

What if, at the end of this story, Hajime chose someone other than me?

No, I already knew that.

Miyabi, Kagura, and Marin—all of them were moving forward in Hajime’s life. There’s no place for me to step in now.

Yet, I still hoped.

That maybe there was something in the final page that could save me.

Biting my lip, I opened the page with trembling fingers.

— The protagonist faces their two childhood friends and confesses their feelings.

As I was about to continue reading, my vision blurred.

I remembered.

How I was deceived by Takamatsu and Konatsu, criticized and hurt Hajime.

Back then, I couldn't do anything but deny him.

But when I was about to be attacked, Hajime came to save me.

I had caused Hajime so much trouble, and yet, I had been saved by him countless times.

— I love Hajime.

I had known that for a long time.

But now, it was too late, for everything.

My hands trembled.

If only I had been more honest with myself sooner…

No matter how much I regret it, the past cannot be changed.

I exhaled quietly, trying to steady my trembling hand as I picked up the cup of tea.

— However, the tremble in my fingers wouldn’t stop, and the tea tilted slightly, spilling onto the table.

“Ah…!”

I hurriedly tried to grab a napkin, but my hand wasn’t cooperating.

“Are you okay?”

A calm voice echoed from behind.

When I turned around, there stood Koda-san.

“Ah… yes, I'm sorry.”

I muttered, and Koda-san smiled gently at me.

“Don’t worry about it. Just wait here.”

He then quickly called over the staff and asked them to clean up.

His smooth response made me instinctively bow my head, whispering “Thank you.”

Then, he softly smiled.

“No need to thank me. Don't worry about it.”

— This person is truly kind.

At that moment, I felt a slight calming of the whirlwind in my heart.

The staff rushed over to the table, skillfully wiping up the spilled tea.

I gently moved my book to the side so as not to get in the way.

“Should I hold on to this for you?”

Koda-san asked with a gentle smile, reaching out.

“Ah… sorry.”

I handed him the book, and he glanced at it for a moment, his expression momentarily shifting.

But it was just for a brief instant.

He quickly returned to his usual calm smile.

“… Two and One, huh.”

When he said the title, his tone briefly lowered.

“Have you read this book already?”

He asked in an almost casual manner.

I stayed silent for a moment, following the movements of the staff as they wiped the tea stains.

But I could feel Koda-san’s gaze on me.

Slowly, I shook my head.

“I… I’m too scared to read it.”

The voice I whispered was smaller than I expected.

“Scared?”

Koda-san tilted his head slightly.

I felt a lump in my throat, but I somehow managed to squeeze out the words.

“…If the ending… is something different from what I expect… I’m scared to know that.”

A heavy silence fell.

I tightened my grip on the cup. I stared at the steam rising from the tea, as if trying to suppress the turmoil in my heart.

Without saying anything, only the anxiety that coiled deep inside me spread through my chest.

Then, Koda-san smiled, as if he had seen through something.

“I see… Actually, this is based on the author’s real-life experience, right?”

I silently nodded.

Koda-san ran his fingers over the cover of the book and sighed lightly.

“Honestly, I have my doubts about the ending of this story.”

“…Huh?”

I involuntarily looked up.

Koda-san shrugged, as if he found my reaction interesting, and continued.

“Because, you know, I can’t really understand this kind of indecisive thinking. In the end, they can’t choose either, and they’re just suffering. If you’re going to worry so much, why not just let go of one from the start…? Don’t you think?”

“…”

“By the end, it felt like I was watching the protagonist’s self-pity, dragging on, indecisive. Honestly, I got frustrated reading it. If you really love someone, you should just choose one. But, in the end, they’re half-hearted, and no one ends up happy, do they?”

“…”

“Is the author like that in real life? Indecisive, unable to decide anything, and in the end, not making anyone happy…? If that’s the case, then maybe you shouldn’t read it. This story isn’t as pure a love story as you think. It’s more about the protagonist’s internal struggle.”

Koda-san's words, still with a smile, pierced sharply.

“If it were me, I wouldn’t make such a pathetic story. Because, right? If you truly love someone, there’s no reason to hesitate. Not being able to let go of either is just being selfish.”

Though his tone was light, his words slowly sank deep into my chest.

“…What are you expecting from the story of a man like that?”

Indecisiveness? Couldn’t choose? Struggling?

Those words echoed dully in my head.

No. I had never thought of it that way.

—But was it really like that?

Old memories rushed in like a wave.

The day of the promise.

Miyabi said, “Make me the protagonist of the story,” and Hajimei nodded.

At that moment.

I impulsively said:

“Make me the protagonist too.”

The feeling of saying those words suddenly became so clear in my mind now.

I knew.

It was always clear that Hajimei would choose Miyabi.

But, at least. At least, I wanted to be next to Hajimei in the story.

Such a childish wish.

—But.

Did Hajimei really struggle with it?

I felt a tightness in my chest.

That couldn't be. Hajimei was kind, and he just wanted to accept my wish. I must have been just a second choice to him—

But… why did Hajimei suffer so much for it?

My heart began to pound loudly.

The next moment, reflexively, I snatched the book from Koda-san's hand.

“…Aoi-chan?”

Koda-san's surprised voice sounded distant.

With trembling fingers, I gripped the cover tightly.

…I have to read it.

Right now, the ending of this book.

With trembling fingers, I slowly turned the page.

From the corner of my eye, I could see Koda-san’s puzzled expression.

But I didn’t care about that.

My eyes were fixed, desperately following the words of the story.

— The protagonist couldn't choose between the two childhood friends.

Both were precious, both could not be let go of, and the protagonist was just suffering, holding onto the feeling of a heart being torn apart.

An internal struggle that couldn't be put into words.

A pain that was beyond bearing.

With each turn of the page, that pain seeped deeper into my chest.

— I had never understood.

Hajime hadn't just been unaffected.

He hadn't been without hesitation.

He had suffered too.

— Much, much more deeply than I had thought.

Before I realized it, tears had fallen.

“…!”

I hurriedly wiped my eyes, but they wouldn't stop.

In fact, they just kept coming.

Koda-san gasped, surprised.

“Aoi-chan? What's wrong?”

Even though he called to me, I couldn't answer.

Wiping my tears with the back of my hand, I still turned the pages.

— In the end, I didn't know which of the two the protagonist chose.

But still—

The two and the one remained together forever. They walked side by side, always happy, living together.

That much, at least, was certain.

“Ah…”

A sob trembled deep in my throat.

The thought that I was just a second choice to Miyabi—everything I had believed about that collapsed.

That was never the case from the start.

Hajime had loved me—he had loved us, in a way that was beyond anything, beyond what I could imagine.

I hadn't known it, and I had suffered alone all this time.

A warmth slowly spread through my chest.

The tears gradually stopped.

Before I knew it, I was smiling.

“…Heh.”

Seeing my smile, Koda-san frowned, confused.

“Aoi-chan…?”

I gently wiped my eyes and looked up at Koda-san.

“No… I'm fine now.”

Koda-san's face clouded slightly.

“…What do you mean—”

Before he could finish, I stood up.

“Sorry, Koda-san, but I have to go! I need to leave now!”

“Huh?”

Koda-san's eyes widened in surprise.

“Leave? Where to?”

I grabbed my bag, took a deep breath.

And then—

“To Hajime’s—”

I started to say it, but shook my head.

No.

I wouldn't hesitate anymore.

So—

“To the person I love!”

With the brightest smile, I declared.