Chapter 75: Shaking Feet

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Translator: Soafp

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[Aoi PoV]

The room was dark, and as I lay quietly in bed, I felt a cold chill on the soles of my feet. Even the darkness in the room felt indifferent, and it wasn’t just my body, but my heart that was growing colder.

As I stared at the ceiling, I couldn't help but see yesterday’s scene replaying in my mind, no matter how much I tried to hide it.

Hajime and Kagura entering the hotel. Then Hajime coming out of the hotel, and me facing him in the park. But I didn't hear a word he said. I just ran away.

Why did I run? Why couldn't I just take a moment to talk to him, even for a second? I can't believe myself. I've misunderstood Hajime for so long and hurt him, and now I'm doing the same thing again. I feel so foolish.

I thought I had finally made up my mind. I decided to face Hajime and stop running, but in the end, this is what I do. I know I'm at fault, but I still don't know what the right answer is.

Kagura, Marin, and Miyabi—they're all beautiful and can stand confidently by Hajime's side. But I'm different. I have nothing special about me, and compared to them, I feel so small…

I want confidence. It doesn't seem like such an outrageous wish, but I can't grasp a single thing.

Anyone would do. If only there was someone who could give me the courage to take a step forward…

My phone rings. The name displayed on the screen is Koda-san. I was a little surprised. It's the first time he's called, so I'm a bit nervous. I wonder what it's about. Could something have happened?

I remembered what Koda-san said when we exchanged contact information.

“If I tell Miyabi we exchanged numbers, she might get jealous, you know? You see, Miyabi really cares about you, and having an older guy like me involved might cause some unnecessary misunderstandings. So let's keep it our little secret, okay?”

At that time, Koda-san said it jokingly, so I laughed and gave him my number.

I did feel a little bad for Miyabi, but lately, I haven't been able to talk honestly with anyone, and the only person I could rely on was Koda-san.

I gathered my courage and answered the call.

“Uh, h-hello, Koda-san… did something happen?”

I could tell my voice was a bit shaky. But Koda-san responded in the same calm voice as always, not seeming to notice.

“I’m glad you picked up. I hope I didn't bother you by calling all of a sudden?”

“No, it's fine. Besides, I skipped school today… haha.”

I felt like it was a pathetic excuse. But Koda-san neither laughed nor got exasperated. He just continued speaking gently.

“Did something happen?”

The moment I heard his voice, I felt a painful tightness in my chest. Maybe I could talk to him. That thought briefly crossed my mind.

But I couldn't talk about it so easily.

“It's really not a big deal…”

As soon as I said it, even I could hear how false my voice sounded. Koda-san seemed to realize it too, but without denying it, he paused for a moment and then spoke softly.

“Aoi, you're not very good at asking people for help, are you?”

“Eh?”

I raised my voice involuntarily, caught off guard by how spot-on he was. How does he know? Am I that easy to read?

“I'm not telling you that you have to talk. But, you know, if you keep everything bottled up, your heart wears down before you even realize it.”

His words weren't pushy; they just quietly seemed to offer support. I started to feel that maybe it would be okay to open up to him—a warm, gentle feeling began to spread.

“I've been in this industry for a long time. All the new recruits go through a rough time at first. Things don't go well, and they don't know what they're doing anymore. So, if things are hard for you right now, I'm here to listen. Whether it's about acting or your personal life, anything at all.”

His voice was filled with kindness and consideration, like a hand gently extended in support. I found myself wanting to cling to it.

But even so, I couldn't open up just yet.

No matter what I said, it wouldn't change anything, and that feeling was still stuck deep inside me.

“It's really just a small thing…”

Despite my efforts to hold back, I managed to let out a single word.

From there, little by little, the words began to spill out. I started talking about Hajime, Kagura, Marin, and Miyabi. As I spoke, all the confusion in my heart began to pour out.

After I finished, the sound of Koda-san's quiet breathing through the phone felt oddly comforting.

A brief silence passed, and then Koda-san's voice gently resonated.

“Aoi, you've been doing your best all on your own, haven't you?”

His words touched me deeply, and before I realized it, tears were streaming down my face.

“You know, why don't we meet up sometime?”

“Eh…?”

My hand, which had been wiping away the tears, froze.

The thought of Godai and Takamatsu flashed through my mind. Because of those two, I became afraid to trust people. But Koda-san is different from them.

He's an adult with a sense of responsibility, and he wouldn't be interested in a high school student like me.

Besides, there's no way someone like the famous actor Koda-san would have any special feelings for someone like me. There are far better women out there for him—women who are beautiful and confident, unlike me…

“Oh, don't get the wrong idea. I'm not thinking anything inappropriate. I just thought it might be a good change of pace, and I'd be happy to listen to whatever's on your mind. Whether it's about voice acting or your personal life, anything at all.”

His kind, slightly playful voice helped ease the tension in my heart.

“There's this quiet café I know. It's a place with enough people around so we won't be alone, and the pancakes are famous for being really good. I'm not much of a sweets person, though, haha.”

Hearing his relaxed voice brought me a bit of relief, and images of Miyabi, Marin, and Kagura came to mind.

They're all so fitting to be by Hajime's side, and I don't compare to them at all.

Even so, there's someone willing to listen to me right now…

That thought gently pushed me forward.

“…Alright.”

It felt a bit embarrassing, but right now, I just wanted someone to listen. That feeling opened my mouth.

“I'm glad. If a young girl like you turned me down at my age, I'd be pretty hurt.”

“What do you mean ‘your age,' Koda-san? You're still young.”

I surprised myself by teasing him lightly. But somehow, my heart felt just a little lighter, and as I held my phone, I found myself smiling a bit for the first time in a while.