Chapter 107: Even if Today Is the Last Day

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Translator: Soafp

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The air in the entryway felt unusually still.

As I picked up my shoes, I suddenly noticed it. It was the same entryway as always, and yet today, the silence felt just a little heavier.

I knelt on the floor and slowly tied my shoelaces. My fingertips trembled slightly. As if making excuses, I redid the motion, and that's when I felt a presence behind me.

Not from beyond the door—but a gaze from inside the house.

“Going out for novel research again today?”

The voice came from behind—it was my mother.

When I turned around, she was standing by the living room door. The way she gently held the hem of her skirt made her seem just a little unsure.

“Yeah. I think today's the last time.”

I replied. The words came out naturally.

“I see… It's supposed to rain today, you know?”

“Yeah, I checked.”

As I stood up, I put my shoes on more firmly. My eyes flicked toward the umbrella stand sitting on the welcome mat.

“Well, I'm off now, Mom.”

At that moment, her voice softened just a little.

“For dinner… I'm making your favorite stuffed cabbage rolls.”

My hand froze on the doorknob.

“Really…? Then I'll have to come back early.”

I said it aloud, but my voice was stiffer than I expected. I tried to smile, but my mouth probably tensed up a bit.

Even I could tell I was forcing it.

The doorknob felt faintly cold.

The dimming world outside spread before me. But even with the view ahead, my feet wouldn't take that first step.

“Hajime…”

She called my name from behind.

Her voice was small, but it clearly held me back.

I stopped right there.

Without turning around, I quietly listened.

“Make sure… you come home.”

I didn't look back. Instead, I took a deep breath.

“I'm heading out.”

I tried to say it in the most usual tone I could manage.

The moment I opened the door, a cold wind brushed my cheek. The town, under a cloudy sky on the edge of night, felt strangely distant.

The sound of the door closing echoed louder than usual.

Stepping outside, the evening air immediately swept over my cheeks. Heavy gray clouds loomed above, cloaking the town in gloom. It felt like the rain would start any moment now.

I took a step. Then another. My footsteps echoed clearly against the asphalt. It was supposed to be a special day, yet strangely, my heart felt calm. No, more than calm—I was surprised at how composed I felt.

This is it, I thought, looking up at the sky.

That's when it happened.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. I stopped and checked the screen—a message from the group chat, “Miyabi & Aoi.” My chest felt slightly heavier.

I thought I was prepared, but when it came time to hit the call button, my fingers trembled slightly.

“What's going on, you two?”

I tried to keep my voice as calm as possible.

“Hajime… where are you right now?”

Aoi's voice stirred something deep in my chest.

“…”

“Hajime, answer me. Where are you?”

After a brief pause, I held the phone to my ear in silence.

I was scared to give a straight answer.

…So instead, I started talking about something else. As if recalling a memory, I spoke quietly.

“…It was the same with Suz. I didn't tell her what mattered. All I said was ‘How sad,' and then I lost her. That's stayed with me like a curse in the back of my mind… Since then, I've been afraid.”

The silence on the other end of the call felt like a cold, tense rain.

My voice grew hoarse.

“But still, I wanted to believe in words again. Just once more. That's why I made that promise to both of you. I said I'd win an award and make you the protagonists of my story. That was, I think, the last time I had the courage to put something into words.”

The words clogged painfully in my chest.

“I wanted to keep that promise more than anything. So I gave everything I had to write it. I thought that would be enough. That finishing it without saying a word would be the truest way to show how much I cared.”

My voice trembled.

“But the truth is… I was wrong. Just saying ‘I'm writing it right now'—that would've been enough. I should've said something. I had to. Only now do I realize just how important that was.”

I heard Aoi quietly exhale.

“I kept wondering. The whole time. ‘Why won't he write it?' ‘How long am I supposed to wait?' But all of that was just me thinking about myself.”

Her voice was lower now.

“It hurts. I keep thinking, why couldn't I see it back then? Why did I realize it only now… It just hurts.”

Her words struck me deep in the heart.

“What Hajime was doing wasn't something small. He wasn't just writing a story. He was aiming for a place where only one person could stand—and he was doing it seriously, for our sake, all alone.”

Miyabi followed with her own words.

“Me too. I can't say ‘I thought I believed in you' anymore. Back then, I didn't know what Hajime was carrying. I didn't even try to know. I just looked away.”

Her voice trembled.

 “For the sake of that promise you made back then… you actually went and won that kind of award… Just to keep a single promise from childhood… you challenged yourself to a place where most people aren't even chosen once in their entire life, climbed your way up, and achieved real results…”

Miyabi's words squeezed at my chest.

“You went that far to keep your promise… and yet I couldn't give you anything in return. Saying ‘I was waiting' might sound nice, but honestly, I think I was just standing still.”

Hearing their apologies, deeper than before, I was left speechless.

Even so, something warm stirred in my chest.

“…You don't need to apologize.”

I started to say, then quickly shook my head.

“…No, that's not right. Saying it like that isn't enough… That's not it. The one who should be saying ‘sorry'… is me.”

“Huh…?”

Aoi's puzzled voice.

“I acted on my own. I wrote in silence, finished it on my own, and felt satisfied. I thought I had kept the promise. I convinced myself that if I just didn't say anything unnecessary, then maybe this time you wouldn't hate me… But that was just selfish. I wasn't really facing you.”

A long silence through the phone.

“When I said ‘I wish I had told you'—I meant it. Words always scared me, deep down… But now, hearing the two of you speak, I finally feel like I can say this honestly… I really am pathetic…”

I spoke the words quietly, as if confirming them from deep inside.

“Thank you for saying you believed in me. That alone… is already more than enough.”

Aoi smiled, just a little.

“You're not fair, you know.”

“You really haven't changed at all, Hajime,” Miyabi added with a faint smile.

“What does that even mean… Still, I'm glad we got to talk like this. I'd been carrying this around for a long time…”

The call continued without ending. There was a quiet, but somehow warm silence between us.

“…Hajime, you're outside right now, aren't you?”

Miyabi's voice suddenly changed. It wasn't sharp, nor was it gentle—just straightforward. At that sound, I closed my eyes and naturally, the old Miyabi came to mind. Yeah… she really sees everything.

I didn't answer that question.

“…Aren't you cold? I heard it might rain today…”

Aoi's voice followed.

“Yeah, I'm okay.”

I replied, and looked up at the sky. The clouds were low, and a cold wind brushed my cheek. But inside, I felt just a little warmer than before.

Another moment of silence.

But beyond that, I felt something unspoken drifting in the air.

“…Hajime.”

Aoi called out to me softly.

There was a pause, like she was holding her breath—

“…You are coming back, right?”

It wasn't a question, really—it was more like a prayer.

Then, as if continuing that thought, Miyabi spoke quietly.

“…I know you probably won't tell us where you're going. But…”

“I want to hear your ‘I'm home.'”

A sharp pain tugged at my chest.

I searched for the right words. No matter what I said, it probably wouldn't be the whole truth. But still, there are some things you just have to put into words.

Maybe I could've chosen something better. But this was all I could think of.

It wasn't a lie. It just felt like truth alone wasn't enough.

“…Mom said she's making stuffed cabbage rolls for dinner.”

One beat. Two.

After a moment of quiet surprise—

“I guess I should be home before it gets cold… right?”

Through the phone, I thought I heard one of them let out a small laugh. I could hear the sound of someone sniffing again.

Still looking at my phone, I quietly said,

“…Thank you. Well then, see you.”

Then I ended the call and slipped the phone into my pocket.

Those words lingered quietly in my chest.

“See you”—somewhere deep down, I thought that might be the real goodbye.

But still, I was glad I said it. I wanted to believe that. Believing that made my heart feel just a little bit lighter.

I'd built everything up for this day.

Every time I wanted to run away, there were people I remembered.

There were people who simply believed in me, who waited for my words.

Just recalling their faces was enough to make me feel like I might stop walking.

Miyabi. Aoi. Kagura. Marin. Ranko.

We clashed, we drifted apart, and still—they kept pushing me forward.

Konatsu. Sanae.

They faced me, even knowing pain.

Kyoko-nee. Mom.

They swallowed their doubts and fears, and still silently watched over the path I chose.

—Once, I had lost everything.

And yet now, I was surrounded by people I cared about so deeply.

Like this, I was trying to move forward again.

That, in itself, made me feel just a little bit proud.

I can't say I'm not scared of anything.

But I won't run away anymore.

The time has come to decide everything.

As I kept walking the familiar path, that building gradually began to come into view.

Under the cloudy sky, it revealed its silhouette quietly.

There were no people around, but its presence was undeniable.

This is the final stage.

Everything will end here. I will bring everything to an end.

I slowly moved my feet forward.

It wasn't that I had no hesitation.

But even so, I had decided—I wouldn't stop.

A gentle heat spread in my chest. I could feel my heartbeat growing stronger.

My footsteps echoed faintly on the asphalt.

The cold wind tugged at the hem of my jacket.

I stopped for just a moment in front of the school gate.

The sky was still gray, with only the clouds slowly drifting by.

I closed my eyes and let out a quiet breath.

Suz-chan.

Right now, I—

“Suz-chan… wait for me. I'm… coming to you now.”

No one would hear those words, but they were meant for myself.

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TL: We caught up with the raw, thank god…