Chapter 39: The loneliness I carried and the hand I received

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Translator: Soafp

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The dinner table, surrounded by the whole family, was filled with laughter.

Mom’s cooking was as delicious as ever, and Dad, holding a drink, was in high spirits.

Kyoko-nee, my older sister, lightly teased Dad, but she was enjoying the conversation as well.

Next to me were Marin and Kagura.

Both of them were praising Mom's cooking, saying, “It's so delicious!” while eating, and Mom's face lit up with happiness.

“Hajime, do you eat this delicious food every day? That's unfair!”

Kagura said as she skillfully used her chopsticks to take a bite of the simmered fish.

“Mom makes dinner for us every day. But today, Marin and Kagura helped out, so it feels a little special”

“Really? Well then, how about I cook for you next time, Hajime-kun?”

Before I could answer, “…Don't get your hopes up.”

Marin whispered softly.

“I heard that! That's so mean!”

Kagura responded.

“Well, Kagura, remember when you said you'd make tamagoyaki, but it turned into scrambled eggs instead?” Marin added.

“Ugh, that's… but it still tasted good!”

At this exchange, Kyoko chuckled softly.

“Hajime is a lucky guy. He gets meals cooked by such cute girls. But remember, he's my precious little brother, so don't think you can easily win him over”

Kyoko warned.

“Wh-why are you saying that…!”

I hurriedly denied it, but Dad laughed cheerfully, and Mom smiled kindly.

As we finished eating, the lively atmosphere settled down, and we continued to chat while sipping after-dinner tea.

Mom began cleaning up the dishes, and Marin and Kagura stood up to help her carry the plates.

When I tried to help, Kagura waved her hand lightly.

“Hajime-kun, you can stay seated. Since it's such a nice day, let us take care of it until the end.”

“No, I should really help…”

“No need to be polite. Just leave it to us and relax.”

Marin said with a smile as she headed toward the kitchen. I hesitantly returned to my seat, watching their retreating figures.

Once the cleaning was finished, the atmosphere of the gathering calmed, and a relaxed time began to pass.

“Alright, now it's time to go to Hajime's room.”

Kagura said as the conversation at the dinner table settled down.

“W-wait… you've already seen it, right?”

“But we're staying the night, right? Since we're going to stay up late anyway, we should claim our spot first.”

“Eh, staying the night…?”

“Eh, are you staying the night?”

Both Dad and Mom reacted simultaneously. I hurriedly denied it.

“Fufu, I'm just joking. I have something I want to confirm about the movie, so I thought I'd talk about the script in Hajime-kun's room.”

Marin explained.

“I'd like to hear your thoughts too.”

Kagura added.

Since they both spoke so naturally, even Dad and Mom nodded in agreement.

“Well, that's fine. Go ahead and have a nice chat in Hajime's room”

“Mom!?”

I wanted to stop them, but it was unexpectedly approved.

“…Huh, where are you two going?”

Kyoko muttered, stretching widely before plopping down on the couch.

“You let her drink too much.”

Mom said with a soft laugh, lightly shaking Kyoko's shoulder, but she didn't respond.

“Seriously… once this happens, she won't wake up.”

Kyoko, who would normally stop things from getting out of hand, was quietly breathing in her sleep today.

At this point, I had no choice but to give up.

“Alright, let's go then!”

Kagura stood up with a big smile, and Marin also smiled as she said,

“Excuse us.”

…I couldn't escape.

In the end, I headed to my room with the two of them.

Climbing the stairs side by side with them, we passed through the quiet hallway and opened the door to my room. My usual space greeted me, with the bed, desk, and bookshelf all in their familiar positions, but now, a different sense of tension filled the air.

As soon as we entered, Kagura jumped onto the bed.

“Wow, Hajime's room is so relaxing!”

“Hey, Kagura, don't just…!”

I protested.

“Eh, it's fine. The bed's so soft!”

She said, rolling around on the bed.

As she did, the hem of her skirt fluttered up.

“Whoa! Hey, Kagura!”

I quickly looked away, but Marin hurriedly rushed to Kagura's feet to stop her.

“Wait, don't move!”

Marin said desperately, trying to press down Kagura's skirt.

In the process, she lost her balance and leaned forward.

“Ah…!”

As Marin was about to fall, I instinctively reached out to catch her. However, her skirt also fluttered up in the same way.

In that moment, the air around us froze.

“…”

Kagura, still on the bed, burst out laughing as she looked down at me and Marin.

“You didn't see anything, right!?”

Marin demanded, her face bright red as she glared at me.

“No, I didn't see anything…”.

“…Really?”

I was met with a suspicious gaze, and all I could do was desperately shake my head.

“Mou…”

Marin sighed, adjusting her skirt, and sat down on a chair.

“Hajime, you’re surprisingly organized. I thought there'd be more books scattered around.”

Trying to shake off the awkwardness, she changed the subject as if nothing had happened.

“Well, it's kind of like my workplace, so I keep it somewhat tidy…”

“Hmm”

Marin said as she gazed at the bookshelf, a slightly happy expression appearing on her face.

“Well then, how about we sit and talk here for a while?”

Kagura, still holding my pillow, smiled mischievously.

“Talk?”

Kagura, still hugging the pillow, looked at me, and Marin quietly turned her gaze toward me as well. Her eyes, though still soft as usual, carried a hint of something searching.

“Hajime, we've been wondering about you, Miyabi-san, and Aoi-san…”

Marin's voice was gentle, but it held an underlying concern.

Kagura nodded in agreement.

“Both of them clearly treat you differently from everyone else. The atmosphere between you all, there's definitely something there, right?”

A tight feeling gripped my chest.

Realizing I could no longer hide the truth, I quietly inhaled and made up my mind to tell them everything.

“…Yeah, I'll tell you.”

I began slowly, carefully choosing my words, explaining the promise I made when I was young, the novel I wrote for Miyabi and Aoi, and how it couldn't reach them, how it was misunderstood, and how it ended up creating a rift between them.

As I spoke, the emotions I had locked away in my heart began to surface bit by bit. No matter how much I tried, no matter how desperately I fought, my feelings never reached them.

The memories of when Miyabi and Aoi rejected me flooded back, and that same suffocating sensation gripped my chest.

I had only written for them.

I had been holding onto that childhood promise, weaving the story they had wished for, gripping my pen day after day. But instead of reaching them, it had only created misunderstandings and built a distance between Miyabi and Aoi. That was the most painful part.

With every word I spoke, my voice trembled slightly, and my fingers stiffened with emotion.

It felt as though they could see right through those feelings, so I lowered my gaze.

“Even so… I wanted to keep that promise.”

When I finally finished talking, the room was filled with silence.

As I spoke, the pain that I had buried deep inside started to surge up again.

No matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I did for Miyabi and Aoi, those feelings never reached them.

Each word I spoke brought back the pain of the past, and my voice quivered.

After a long silence, suddenly something warm enveloped my body.

“Hajime… all this time, you've been alone…?”

I heard Marin's small voice, tinged with a sob.

Her shoulders trembled, and tears fell, one by one.

“Why… why did you carry this pain all alone…?”

Kagura's voice, too, was shaky.

“Idiot… really, idiot… Why didn’t you say something sooner? You should’ve complained to us! Mou! Really…”

Marin and Kagura both tried to wipe their tears, but they kept flowing, unstoppable.

“It's okay… you’re not alone anymore.”

Marin hugged me tightly.

Kagura also extended her arms and pulled me close, wrapping me up in a warm embrace.

“You’ve done well up until now, Hajime…”

Kagura’s hand gently stroked my back.

The warmth of her caring touch seeped through, and I felt my tightly wound heart begin to loosen.

If I started crying now, all the stubbornness I'd held onto, all the loneliness I had endured, would overflow in an instant. So, I tried to hold back the tears, trying my best to keep myself together.

“Actually, just now, I got a message from Miyabi and Aoi, saying they want to talk…”

Both of them looked up, wiping their tears away.

“Hajime, what are you going to do? What do you want?”

“…Honestly, I didn't want to get involved anymore. But I think I have to talk to them properly.”

I squeezed the words out, voicing the thoughts that had been deep inside me.

“Truth is… I'm scared. But if I don't do this, I'll just carry these wounds with me for the rest of my life.”

Marin and Kagura smiled gently and nodded firmly.

“Yeah, you should talk. So you don't have regrets.”

“Hajime, you can do it. We're always on your side.”

Their words slowly seeped into my heart, comforting me.

The pain I'd endured alone, the efforts that had gone unrecognized, I had swallowed them all and kept moving forward. But now, there were people who cared for me so warmly, so sincerely.

Feeling this kindness, I could feel my heart slowly unraveling, bit by bit.

“…Thank you.”

The words slipped out naturally.

Marin and Kagura smiled quietly and gently patted my shoulder.

“It's okay, Hajime-kun. I'm sure you can overcome this.”

“Yeah, from now on, we'll always be by your side.”

Their words strengthened the small flame deep within my heart.

With a push from them, I quietly, but firmly, made up my mind to move forward.