Chapter 6

Reading Settings

Translator: Soafp

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[Maaya PoV]

During break time, I was slumped over my desk in my seat, staring at my phone.

My long chestnut hair flowed down from the edge of the desk like a waterfall.

On the screen was a profile image of a boy in side view.

Sharp eyes, a straight nose bridge, and a somewhat distant, fragile expression—

my childhood friend, Reita Kawakami.

“…Haah… Reita-kun…”

I let out a deep sigh while staring at him.

Ever since that day…

Since that moment, time in my heart has stopped.

I haven't moved forward even a single step since that first year of middle school.

It has been four years since he lost his memory.

And I have never once forgotten him.

I've been waiting, all this time, for his memories to return.

But… this isn't what I truly want. That's exactly why I keep sighing.

My “love” should have already ended.

It should have ended the moment he told me he hated me.

And yet…

I can't let go of it, still clinging on desperately for four long years.

Even after graduating middle school, even after all the distance in time, I've continued to hold onto this emptiness.

I know I should give up.

I know, logically, that hoping is just a waste of time.

That's why I try not to act on it.

I just watch from a distance, and wish.

Every day, like observing a star in the sky, I check on him.

Hoping—foolishly—that maybe his memories will suddenly return.

And with every day, I continue to follow him with my eyes.

As long as there is even a chance, I can't throw these feelings away.

How long am I going to keep clinging to this…?

At this point, it even scares me.

What's more frightening is that my condition is getting worse.

Lately, I've practically entered stalker territory.

Following him to the same high school… sometimes trailing after him…

At some point, I even started keeping a “Reita observation diary.”

I write down his daily behavior, searching for any sign of change—

anything that might indicate his memories returning.

Though… it's mostly pointless.

I can't watch him all the time, and there's not even much worth writing down.

I just move my pen because I need somewhere to pour these overflowing feelings.

That's my meaningless, hollow everyday life.

My name is Maaya Okabe.

“…Hey, Maaya. Why are you slumped over like that?”

A bright voice suddenly rang above me.

That voice… Rin Hoshikage.

I didn't even need to look up—I knew it was my childhood friend and best friend.

Slowly, I lifted my body and looked at her.

“Rin… I was just thinking about something.”

“Something bothering you?”

“Hmm… yeah, something like that.”

“If that's the case, I can help you—wait, Maaya, that…”

“Huh? What—ah.”

Oops…

Reita-kun's photo was still on my phone.

Rin had seen it directly.

“Maaya… don't tell me you took a creep shot…?”

“N-no! That's not it! I mean… I just… I took it when we went to karaoke yesterday!”

In truth, I took it without permission…

But if I don't say that, my life will end, so I'll keep quiet.

“…What? Wait, you went to karaoke with him…?”

“Y-yeah. Well, Ryosuke-kun invited me, and Reita-kun just happened to be there.”

That's not entirely true—I only went because Reita-kun was there…

But I can't tell Rin that or she'll definitely get mad.

“Maaya… you should really stay away from those guys.”

“…Why?”

“Nothing good comes from being around delinquents like that.”

As expected of Rin—she really hates delinquents.

Well… I'm not great with them either, but still…

“At least Reita-kun isn't a bad person.”

“…Hey, Maaya. You haven't forgotten what happened back then, have you?”

Rin sighed in exasperation at my defense of him.

I understand she's worried.

And I haven't forgotten what happened either.

In fact… I probably remember it more clearly than anyone.

“But I'm not angry about that anymore.”

“But he still hurt you.”

“I wasn't hurt. I was just sad.”

“It's the same thing. The fact that he made you cry is enough.”

Yes… I did cry back then when he said he hated me.

But it wasn't because I was hurt.

It was because the Reita-kun I knew had disappeared.

And I understand why it happened.

If anything, it was my fault.

Back then, I only thought about myself.

I just wanted to stay with him… and kept pushing my feelings onto him.

I was probably really annoying.

I didn't understand his feelings or the atmosphere around him.

So it was understandable that he said he hated me.

That's why I'm not angry.

I think I just got what I deserved.

“…Honestly, Maaya, you really don't have any sense of danger.”

“Haha… sorry.”

“At the very least, you should stay away from him now. He's basically a bad person.”

“Hmm… is that really true?”

I tilted my head at Rin's certainty.

Sure, his behavior isn't exactly what you'd call good.

But yesterday at karaoke, when I observed him closely…

he didn't feel like a bad person at all.

In fact, he seemed to be paying attention to everyone around him.

He even casually helped me when I was being bothered.

And not just me—he helped other girls too when they looked uncomfortable.

It was so subtle that only someone like me, who was constantly watching him, would notice.

More than that…

For a moment, I even wondered if his memories had come back.

There was something about him yesterday—

something nostalgic I couldn't quite put into words.

Maybe that was just my wishful thinking.

“…At the very least, wait until his memories return. Though honestly, I think it's more likely they'll never come back, so don't get your hopes up.”

Rin muttered softly, almost sadly.

Wait until his memories return…

Will that day ever really come?

“…Hey, Rin. Hypothetically—what would you do if Reita-kun suddenly got his memories back?”

“What would I do…? It's not like things would just go back to how they were.”

“Really? Isn't that up to us?”

“Even if his memories come back, it doesn't mean the old him returns. It's been four years.”

She's probably right.

Even if I suddenly remembered a past life, I probably wouldn't become that exact same person again.

And even if his memories return…

it doesn't guarantee the old Reita will come back.

“…And the fact that he made you cry doesn't just disappear either.”

“That again… I told you, I'm over it.”

To me, it really was mutual fault.

But Rin clearly can't forgive it.

“Anyway! Stay away from that group, okay?”

“…Okay, okay.”

“Do you really understand?”

“I do. I'm not a child anymore.”

…It's about time I put an end to this.

I can't keep letting things stay frozen like this forever.

Even I know that.

That's why…

I'll take one last step forward.

And if that doesn't work…

then I'll end everything.

This fragile, bittersweet love story.