Chapter 11

Reading Settings

Translator: Soafp

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After that, we went to a nearby café for an early lunch.

Shizuno sat across from me, posture straight, calmly looking over the menu.

At a glance, she looked mature enough to pass as a university student without any sense of mismatch.

Every movement she made was refined, and you could feel how well she was brought up.

The way she casually brushed aside her long black hair was strangely captivating.

In a way, she might not have changed much since back then.

She was always someone without openings—her behavior and way of thinking were orderly, as if she constantly carried “correctness” with her.

It felt like the Shizuno from back then had simply grown up as she was.

Well, from someone like me who knew her in the past, it also felt a bit like she was putting on appearances.

…Still, I never thought I'd sit across the same table with her again. Life really is unpredictable.

Thinking that, I finished placing my order.

While we waited for the food, Shizuno suddenly spoke.

“So, how have you been lately? With your life.”

“…That's a pretty big question out of nowhere.”

“I haven't really had a proper conversation with you since you lost your memory. There were a lot of things I was curious about.”

Her tone was calm, unlike her usual lecturing mode.

The last time we spoke normally like this—just like with Maaya and the others—was four years ago.

“Let's see… I don't really have any complaints. I wouldn't say I'm fulfilled, though.”

I gave a vague answer.

But to be clear, that's how I actually feel.

My days with Ryosuke and the others aren't exactly fulfilling, but they're not boring either.

Though now, after regaining my memories, I've gained something to worry about.

“I see… but you used to look like you were having more fun.”

“…What are you trying to say?”

“Don't you ever want to go back? To the way things were before?”

“Even if you say that, I don't remember the past.”

I played dumb about my memories.

“Right… sorry.”

Shizuno apologized without a hint of ill intent.

…She was probing me just now, wasn't she?

That comment was definitely meant to test whether I had regained my memories.

Figures she'd notice so quickly. She's still as sharp as ever.

“I hope your memories come back soon.”

“Even if they did now, I don't think it would mean much.”

“Is that so? All your childhood friends are still worried about you.”

“…You too?”

“Yes. To some extent.”

“I… see…”

I asked half-jokingly, but her answer caught me off guard, and I faltered.

I thought Shizuno had long since given up on me… but she still cared.

“Especially Maaya. She seems very concerned about you. Why not at least make up with her?”

“…What would that accomplish?”

“You could go back to being close like before.”

“No… that's impossible.”

“Why?”

“Because whether for better or worse, we've all changed.”

“I think you're the only one who's changed for the worse.”

“Shut up.”

That's exactly the problem.

“Why not use this as a chance to change yourself?”

“That's too late.”

“Is it? I don't think it's too late at all.”

“How can you possibly think that…”

I've already gone too far.

Changing now feels way too late.

“But you're hesitating right now, aren't you?”

“Don't go making assumptions.”

“Am I wrong?”

“….”

She hit the mark, and I couldn't respond.

She really sees right through me.

Maybe I'm just that easy to read. Or maybe she's just that perceptive.

“The old you would've kicked that bottle away earlier. And you definitely wouldn't have accepted my invitation. At the very least, something about you has changed.”

For a moment, I wondered if she'd figured out that my memories had returned—but no, she was just incredibly observant.

After saying that, Shizuno slowly brought her coffee cup to her lips.

I took a sip of my iced tea while thinking things over.

“It's not too late,” huh…

When Shizuno says it, it strangely carries weight.

She's always been good at reading people, probably because she's used to dealing with all kinds of troublemakers.

Honestly, I thought the chances of me changing were practically zero… but maybe that's not entirely true.

If it's not too late…

Then I…

Do I… want to go back?

For the first time, I found myself confronting what I actually want.

Up until now, I'd only been thinking about whether it was possible or meaningful to go back—but not about my own feelings.

Right now…

I think I do want to go back.

I've even been dreaming about those days when we all laughed together.

There's no denying that feeling exists inside me.

“…I don't know what happened,”

Shizuno said as she set her coffee cup down, the faint clink echoing softly.

“But at least know this—we're all waiting for you to come back.”

As she said that, she casually added sugar and milk to her coffee.

When I noticed, she looked slightly annoyed and turned her gaze away.

Even after saying something meaningful, she couldn't quite pull it off coolly.

That prideful side of her hasn't changed either, and I almost found myself smiling.

…Everyone hasn't changed as much as I thought.

And they're still waiting for me.

For someone like me… who's become this far gone.