Chapter 31

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Translator: Soafp

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This was from before Reita lost his memories—around just before graduating elementary school.

“Hey, Shizuno. You've seemed down lately. What's wrong?”

“…It's nothing.”

“There's no way it's nothing. You forgetting your homework two days in a row? That's not like you.”

“Even I forget things sometimes.”

“No way. You're not the type to make careless mistakes. Something must've happened.”

“I said it's nothing.”

“Come on, just tell me.”

“You're so annoying. Maaya is waiting for you, right? Just go already.”

Even though Reita was worried about me, I brushed him off in a sulky way.

I was never very good at relying on others.

Because every time someone helped me, it reminded me of how powerless I was.

I had a goal—to become someone admirable like my father.

My father was a lawyer who worked hard every day, yet never abandoned those in need. To me as a child, he looked like a hero.

Even when he came home late at night, he never showed fatigue—just smiled and said “I'm home.” Watching his back, I wanted to become like that someday.

If I wanted to follow in his footsteps, then at the very least, I needed to be able to solve my own problems.

That's what I believed, so I tried to live without relying on others as much as possible.

But…

Looking back now, that might have just been an excuse.

The real reason I pushed Reita away… was probably jealousy.

Watching him get along so well with Maaya made me stubborn.

At the time I didn't realize it, but I liked him.

“I had Maaya head home first.”

“…Eh?”

“I figured talking about it might make you feel better.”

Honestly, I was so happy that he chose me over Maaya that I changed my attitude immediately.

I'm such an easy girl.

I always acted serious and composed, but inside, I was still just a kid.

And so, I opened up to him.

I showed him a weakness I had never shown anyone else.

“I've been wondering… if what I'm doing is wrong…”

Since I was little, I believed strongly in justice.

Just like now, if I saw someone doing something wrong, I would immediately step in and call them out.

But sometimes, I started to wonder if that was really the right thing to do.

The looks people gave me when I confronted them—

Eyes filled with anger, irritation, negativity.

Every time I saw those expressions, my heart would waver.

And as I got older, the way people reacted started to change.

“There they go again.”

“Who do they think they are?”

“Honestly, they're kind of annoying.”

Those careless words pierced my heart.

I used to be treated like a hero.

But before I knew it, people started to find me irritating.

And that made me question what I was doing.

Why… and for whom… was I upholding justice?

The biggest turning point was when I tried to stop a fight between some boys—

One of them shoved me hard, and I ended up with a minor injury.

It didn't scare me.

What shook me was realizing my own powerlessness.

I couldn't even stop something like that.

With all of that piling up, I didn't know what I was supposed to do anymore.

Reita listened to me seriously.

After thinking for a bit, he said—

“I don't really get things like justice or evil, so I can't say for sure. But… I think you're cool, Shizuno.”

He respected me.

And honestly, just hearing that made half my worries disappear.

I really am that easy.

“But… can I really do it…?”

The other half of my worry… was my own weakness.

I didn't want to admit it.

That's why I didn't want to talk about it.

“When you're struggling, just rely on someone.”

“N-no, that's not right. If I don't do it myself, it doesn't mean anything.”

“That's not true. Working together is also a valid way.”

“But… this is something I chose to do on my own. I can't drag others into it.”

“Then rely on me.”

“Rely on… you?”

“I agree with you. Maybe not as strongly as you, but I don't like leaving bad people alone either.”

Then he made me a promise.

“If something's bothering you, I'll definitely help. So don't carry it all alone—tell me properly. Promise.”

Maybe it was more encouragement than a promise.

It wasn't anything especially profound, but his words resonated with me.

That was probably the moment I truly fell in love with him.

Unfortunately, back then… I still didn't realize it.

---

When I woke up, the clock in the infirmary pointed straight up.

I had missed two classes. My lack of sleep must've caught up to me.

I had always managed everything perfectly until now…

And yet, I fell apart so easily.

The frustration tightened in my chest.

That's exactly why… I don't want to rely on anyone.

I don't want to become any more pathetic than this.

Of course, I remember the promise I made with him.

But the problem I'm facing now has nothing to do with him.

It's something I have to solve myself, or it won't mean anything.

Besides, Reita is already dealing with his own struggles.

He's working desperately to change himself.

He's probably under more stress than I am.

That's why I can't drag him into this—

…

No, that's not it.

That's just an excuse.

The real reason… is something much uglier.

I haven't grown at all since then.

I act like I'm being rational, but I'm still being driven by emotion.

If I take his hand now, I know what will happen.

The feelings I've been suppressing will overflow.

I know myself.

I'll fall in love with him all over again.

Because I'm that easy.

And love will only end in pain anyway—

What flashes through my mind is the sight of Reita and Maaya happily on their date.

Even after drifting apart, they found their way back to each other.

That gap between them disappeared before anyone noticed.

Maaya looks happy every single day.

And Reita clearly cares about her a lot.

Those two are a perfect match.

There's no room for anyone else to step in.

In the end… I'm just sulking out of jealousy again.

This time, I understand it logically, but…

To lament my own weakness, rely on him, and then lose in love on top of that…

I refuse to become that pathetic kind of girl.

That's why I have to overcome this hurdle on my own.

Because if I don't…

This time, my convictions might truly break.