Chapter 14

Reading Settings

Translator: Soafp

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When I arrived at the classroom, the first thing I did was start organizing the mess of textbooks and papers stuffed inside my desk.

Looking at it again, it was a complete disaster. It was crammed with loose prints like a trash bin—so messy you'd never think only a little over two weeks had passed since the new term started.

“A messy room reflects a messy mind.” Just like that saying, it perfectly represented what my mind used to look like.

As I cleaned out my filthy desk, I started thinking about what to do from here on.

I'd decided to change, sure—but I still didn't really know where to begin.

I thought about it a lot last night before going to bed, but everything felt too vague, and I couldn't come up with any clear answer.

It's not as simple as just repeating good deeds.

I'm not aiming to become some hypocrite. Putting on a good front doesn't mean I've actually changed.

It only means something if I become someone who can stand tall with pride.

…That said, starting with appearances does matter too.

Like organizing my desk like this, or living a disciplined life, greeting people properly, and actually taking classes seriously…

If I can't even do those basic things, then changing is completely impossible.

For now, until I figure things out, I want to at least master those “basics.”

…Still, just thinking about it makes me sigh.

Me—someone who used to skip school or show up late at least once a week—living a disciplined school life? Even today, I had to fight myself just to wake up early.

And greeting people seriously? When was the last time I even did that? I can't even remember what kind of face I'm supposed to make when I say “good morning.”

Classes were nothing more than a chance to catch up on sleep for me, anyway.

Looks like I'm even more rotten than I thought.

This is going to be a long road…

About five minutes later, I finally finished cleaning and organizing everything.

“Yo, Reita. After school today, wanna go hit up some girls from another school for the first time in a while?”

As usual, Ryosuke showed up, plopping himself down on my desk as he spoke to me.

Trash scattered over the desk I had just cleaned.

And right off the bat, he's inviting me to go chase girls…

It felt like someone had just thrown cold water all over me.

“Ryosuke, huh. Sorry, but I'll pass today.”

“What's up with you lately? You've been no fun. Don't tell me you got a girl or something?”

“Who knows.”

I turned him down, feeling just a slight twinge of guilt.

…If I go back to my old self, would that mean I'd stop hanging out with Ryosuke altogether?

Looking at his face, that thought suddenly crossed my mind.

If I'm going to quit being a delinquent, then parting ways with Ryosuke is something I won't be able to avoid.

We've known each other for about four years now. I wouldn't call him a good friend, but we did get along in our own way.

And honestly, if it weren't for him, I don't know what would've happened to me. Maybe I would've stopped going to school altogether and just wasted away somewhere.

In that sense, even if he's a piece of crap, I do feel grateful.

That's exactly why it stings a little. It feels like I'm just cutting him off when it suits me.

Well… our relationship was always just a convenient way to kill time anyway, so maybe I don't need to think too hard about it.

“Seriously though… something's off with you.”

Ryosuke frowned, clearly suspicious of my change.

I didn't want any trouble, so I played it off.

“Really? I'm the same as always.”

“…Whatever. Just make sure you're free next time.”

With that, he didn't push any further and headed back to his seat.

That's unusual. Normally he'd keep pestering me, telling me to ditch whatever I had planned.

Feeling a slight sense of unease at how he was acting differently than usual, I waited for homeroom to start.

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First period.

Just like I said I would, I was actually taking the class seriously.

I held my mechanical pencil and started writing in my still-blank notebook.

How long has it been since I've done something like this?

Usually I'd be sleeping, reading manga on my phone, or—on a rare good day—skimming the textbook just enough to barely pass tests.

Maybe that's why even doing this seriously feels exhausting.

My back hurts, my neck hurts…

And the looks from everyone around me are annoying as hell.

“What's with him?”—that kind of look. So irritating.

Even the teacher's watching me like they're on guard…

I'm not gonna do anything.

The stress piling up on me already feels like it's about to break me.

But I hold on, looking at the backs of my childhood friends as they attend the class.

This isn't just for me—it's also to live up to their expectations.

So I can't afford to give up here.

A couple seats diagonally in front of me, Maaya is staring off into space every now and then while listening to the lesson.

Is she thinking about something, or just zoning out?

As always, I have no idea what's going on in her head.

But from how she acted this morning, I do know she feels something toward me.

I have to do my best so I never make her look that sad again.

At the very front by the window, Rin is spinning her pen while reluctantly taking notes.

She's not good at studying, but I can tell she's trying her best in her own way.

Rin has changed a lot. She used to be more carefree, always smiling—but lately, I hardly see her smile at all.

Part of me wonders if that's because of me… and if it is, I feel bad.

And then, two seats in front of me, there's a black-haired girl sitting with perfect posture, listening to the teacher.

As expected, Shizuno is as solid as ever.

She hasn't changed at all. Never swayed by others, more serious and exemplary than anyone else.

She's exactly the kind of person I need to learn from right now.

Honestly, there probably aren't many students at Shirosaki Academy who take classes as seriously as she does—

…Wait.

Come to think of it, why is Shizuno even attending the same high school as us?

A question I'd never really considered before suddenly popped into my head.

Out of the four of us, she's easily the smartest. Her grades are on a completely different level.

So why would someone like her go to an average-level high school?

I hadn't thought much about it before because of my lost memories, but now that I do, it feels pretty strange.

She doesn't seem like she's grown to hate studying.

She always raises her hand, solves problems perfectly at the board, and I remember she took first place in every exam last year.

There's no way she chose this school just because she wanted to be with her childhood friends.

As far as I know, she's the kind of person who prioritizes what she should do and always aims higher.

Unless there's a really good reason, she wouldn't choose a school below her level.

So why is she here at Shirosaki?

Do Rin and Maaya know the reason?

…Well, no point thinking about it.

It's not really my business, and knowing her, she probably has her own solid reason.

Before worrying about others, I need to get my own life in order first.

Thinking that, I went back to writing.

Still… my back really hurts…