Chapter 8: It’s cloudy, but… *Amanatsu’s perspective*

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Translator: Soafp

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In front of the full-length mirror in the living room, I carefully check my appearance.

“Hair: good. Eyelash extensions: good. Skin condition: good. Let's do our best again today.”

As I hold up my freshly manicured fingertips to inspect them, Dad—who is sitting on the sofa reading the newspaper—gives me a puzzled look.

“What is this, a workplace safety inspection?”

What was he talking about?

High school is a danger zone where a moment of carelessness can be fatal, a daily minefield of near-misses.

It's a stage where you must never neglect your efforts and must keep performing perfection every day.

“Mom, I'm off!”

“Fufu, have a good day. Be careful.”

Mom, whom I had worried for so many days, smiled as though cheering me on.

That gave me courage. I slipped my feet into my loafers at the front door and reached for the doorknob… only to freeze with a little tension.

“Woof!”

“Whoa.”

Hulk nudged the back of my knee.

With a wry smile at his expression—which seemed to say, Get going already—I left home for the first time in a week.

---

The scenery flowed past as I made my way to school.

The usual train platform, the crowded route to school, the tree-lined road in front of the gates.

Every time I saw someone in a school uniform, my pace sped up a little. Before I knew it, lost in thought, I had arrived in front of my classroom.

What was I supposed to tell everyone?

Had they already found out I used to be an introvert? I had been crying when I last left the classroom, so they must definitely think something happened.

No, no. There's no point overthinking this, Nakina Amanatsu!

Compared to climbing my way from shut-in to high-school reinvention, this is nothing!

“M-Morning…”

The moment I slid open the door and walked into the classroom, the noisy room suddenly went silent, as though a thread had snapped.

That was an insane number of eyes on me.

I hurried to my familiar old desk, put down my bag, and immediately sat.

Now then, how should I bring up the subject? The timing was difficult.

Sweat seeped into my shirt, the sounds around me seemed to grow distant, and just as I panicked, thinking, Oh no, this might be bad…

“Nakina, it's been so long! We were worried about you!”

“I was afraid you weren't coming back!”

Several boys and girls surrounded me.

“U-Um?”

As I tilted my head, the girls patted and touched me all over as if commemorating the occasion.

“You can miss a week of high school and be totally fine, so don't worry about it.”

“To celebrate your return, let's go to karaoke after school.”

Something was off… What was going on!?

“Um, aren't you all curious why I was absent?”

“Huh? But Hatsukade already told us, so we know.”

Hatsukade-kun!?

What? How did that happen?

“Seriously, Hatsukade is unbelievable. His personality is awful.”

“Yeah. When Nakina came back crying, I wondered what had happened, but honestly, it was understandable.”

I weakly raised a hand to ask a question.

“By the way… what did he say?”

“Just remembering it makes my hands shake with anger! He told you that calling you cute during the public confession was all a joke, and that it would be a problem if you took it seriously, right!?”

“…Huh?”

“Plus, he said you had an ugly personality and were boring to talk to, and he insulted you nonstop, right!?”

“Who said that?”

“After you ran out, Hatsukade bragged about making you cry.”

…Hatsukade-kun, how far does your kindness go?

As I panicked at the welcoming atmosphere Hatsukade-kun had secretly created for me, the person responsible appeared.

He sat in his usual unfazed, cynical manner and opened a paperback with a composed expression.

Even though everyone's eyes were on him and he was sitting on a bed of needles, he read his book and gave a quiet, amused “Oh?”

His mental fortitude was too strong…

How could he immerse himself in his own world in this situation!?

His heart had to be made of tungsten.

A prickly, on-the-verge-of-exploding tension filled the room, but it dispersed when Sakura entered the classroom, widened her eyes, and rushed up to me.

“Nakina!? I finally found you! Where the hell have you been!?”

“Ahaha… I had a lot going on.”

Tears welled in Sakura's eyes as she hugged me.

Huh…?

“Ugh… I'm sorry about what happened. I tried to be considerate, but I just made things worse.”

“I-It's okay. It's not like you meant any harm.”

I gave an awkward laugh, but Sakura, still clinging tightly to me, shook her head.

“Waaah, it's all my fault…”

“Ahaha…”

I was caught completely off guard, but fortunately, Sakura bursting into tears opened the floodgates. A large number of classmates crowded around me and apologized.

As I was jostled around, I met Hatsukade-kun's eyes for just a moment.

He had raised his face from his book, and he smiled happily—so only I would understand.

---

Surprisingly easily, I was able to blend back into the class.

Everyone apologized to me, and all the dread I had felt before returning to school disappeared completely.

As for Sakura… well, setting aside the fact that she had been the reason I first shut myself in, she had worried enough to visit my home again and again, so I didn't resent her.

That was just the kind of person Sakura was.

She was a bit of an idiot… Sorry, perhaps “a bit” was inaccurate.

She was a pretty major idiot, but I didn't think she was bad at heart.

Still an idiot, though.

But not everything had gone back to normal.

“Sorry, Nakina… It was my fault.”

“It's okay. I'm fine now.”

Shi-chan looked terribly uncomfortable.

She had apologized to me privately, and we had made up for the time being, but an atmosphere lingered that made it clear not everything had been settled.

Not only me—even the rest of the class seemed to find it difficult to interact with her.

During classroom changes and whenever seating was free, she still spent time with the same group as before. But unlike her usual chatty self, she had become a machine that followed the flow of conversation and offered obliging smiles.

Just like how I usually was.

What she had done was awful, but I also could have refused the fake confession in the first place.

So as far as I was concerned, it was fair for both sides to call it even.

It might take time, but I was sure she would eventually recover.

Until then, she could treat this as a small period of reflection.

At lunch break, Sakura and I went to the vending machines in the courtyard.

I told her she didn't need to, but she insisted on paying me compensation, so I decided to let her.

“This new coffee is really good! Oh, and this one, and this one too!”

Sakura pressed button after button without hesitation.

“I-I can't drink this much! Stop already!”

When I cried out while holding an armful of canned drinks, she puffed out her cheeks in dissatisfaction.

“Ehh? There are still more.”

“If I drink this much, my stomach will be all sloshy.”

“True! It's embarrassing to have to go to the bathroom during class!”

Apparently satisfied at last, Sakura cheerfully popped open the tab of a lemon soda.

It was amazing that someone this airheaded could still seem cute just because she was Sakura. This was what a naturally genuine extrovert was like…

“Still, Hatsukade's personality is awful, isn't it?”

“I-Is it?”

Looking around to make sure nobody was nearby, Sakura lowered her voice.

“I know I'm not in a position to say this, but he's so vindictive. Even after you stopped coming to school, whenever I was alone he'd say, ‘What, you still haven't made up? Maybe your personality sucks so much that she doesn't even think of you as a friend.'”

Trying to imitate him, Sakura grumbled in a low voice.

“And then, every single day, he kept nagging me: ‘Did you see her yesterday?' In the end, he said, ‘You're too useless. Forget it—I'll go check on her myself. I still haven't finished complaining to her.'”

Sakura squeezed her juice can until it creaked.

“It's completely inappropriate to go complain to someone who's missing school, right? And then, even though we promised we'd go together after school, he cut in line and went during lunch break!”

“Hehe.”

“This isn't funny. But maybe it was a blessing in disguise? You got over him because he made you mad, right, Nakina? That's the right choice. There are plenty of better guys than him, so let's aim for your next love!”

“Y-Yeah.”

I really was a terrible, selfish person.

I should tell Sakura that Hatsukade-kun wasn't that awful.

But I didn't want to say it—not even if my mouth split open.

Because if Sakura realized how wonderful he was, I would never stand a chance against her.

And the same went for Hatsukade-kun.

I didn't want him to discover Sakura's good qualities.

She was so cute, adored by everyone around her, and had tens of thousands of social-media followers, yet she never got full of herself. She cared so much about her friends that she couldn't leave someone like me alone.

Slowly, thickly.

I could hear my heart rotting away.

My once-pure feelings had been stained a murky black, giving off a stench so foul I wanted to cover my nose.

After giving him such a horrible fake confession, there was no way I deserved to date him.

…And yet.

Even if it was only for the rest of high school, I didn't want anyone to take him from me.

Not even Sakura, who had been so kind to me—I didn't want her to lay a finger on him.

The occasional smile that slipped through his scowl belonged only to me.

The place beside him belonged only to me.

It was arrogant, possessive, and a feeling that made even me recoil from myself—but this was my love.

The more I thought about him, the more the overcast sky blanketing my heart darkened like gathering rain clouds.

But no matter how cloudy it became, Hatsukade-kun was far above those clouds, shining light on my youth.

Even if this love could never come true, I wanted to remain by his side.

That was my wish.

After returning to the classroom from the vending machines, just before lunch break ended, I quickly slipped a note onto his desk.

I have something I want to tell you. Please come to the rooftop alone after school.

Hatsukade's POV

At the end of lunch break, Amanatsu gave me a mysterious letter.

I neatly folded the short message and put it in my pocket.

During afternoon class, Amanatsu glanced back for just a moment and our eyes met. Her face immediately turned red, and she frantically turned back toward the blackboard.

“…”

I thought I should have noticed her feelings sooner.

Even if it had all been a lie, I had loudly told everyone in the classroom that Amanatsu was cute and that I liked her. She probably couldn't have been at peace after that.

Maybe my actions had put at least some pressure on her.

Amanatsu had said that, because she gave me that fake confession, she had no right to fall in love with me.

If Hiiragi's idiocy hadn't exposed it, she probably intended to keep those feelings in her heart for the rest of her life.

From my perspective, I had been completely caught in the crossfire—but knowing I had played a part in her withdrawing from school left a bad taste in my mouth.

That was why I had gone to her house, even skipping class to do so. I didn't want to continue school life with that uneasy feeling hanging over me.

It had only been to protect my own peace of mind.

That was why I had absolutely no intention of being swayed by pity and returning her feelings.

After school, I walked alone down the hallway toward the rooftop.

It was late May, and the sky beyond the windows still held plenty of light.

Touching the letter in my pocket, I wondered what she was going to say.

After school, on the rooftop, she had something she wanted to tell me… With all those conditions in place, it had to be that, right?

I wasn't thrilled, and my steps naturally grew heavier.

I had already declared that I had no intention of dating anyone, so what was she trying to do?

Did she want to take her shot even if she got rejected?

For a fake confession, I would eagerly raise my fists and prepare for battle. But a real confession was a bit much.

I wanted to end it while hurting her as little as possible.

No—maybe the merciful thing would be to prepare to be hated and cut her down cleanly in one stroke?

…What was I supposed to do?

When I arrived at my usual place of refuge, I opened the door to the rooftop.

A cool breeze blew in, making me narrow my eyes. Amanatsu was waiting there alone.

“Sorry to keep you waiting. What did you want to talk about?”

“Y-Yeah. Um…”

After saying only that, she pressed her lips together as though preparing herself.

While all I could do was wait, the shouts of sports-club students drifted up from the grounds below.

“I-I… like you, Hatsukade-kun.”

My back unconsciously straightened.

Fidgeting as she wound the ends of her hair around her fingers, she continued.

“I know it's presumptuous to say this now… but I still want to be by your side, so… please…”

—Here it comes!

She took a deep breath.

I imagined an invisible sword at my waist and prepared to cut things off decisively, without any lingering feelings.

“Please let me join the same club as you.”

“Sorry, I don't like anything about you except your fa—”

Our words came out at almost the same time. We stared at one another, frozen.

“…”

“…”

The sharp clang of a baseball bat striking a ball echoed emptily from the field below.

Sweat slowly ran down my cheek. I cleared my throat and tilted my head.

“Oh, the club. Sure, why not? You don't need my permission in the first place. Well, then, see you.”

“Wait a second!? Weren't you about to say something awful just now!?”

“…You imagined it.”

“Definitely not! I'm hurt. T-That's so cruel!”

“Well, I carefully chose my words because I was trying to make you dislike me, so of course it was cruel.”

“How do you double down after only three seconds!?”

“Look, anyone would think it was a confession in this situation.”

Amanatsu's face turned bright red as she frantically waved her arms around.

“I-I wasn't going to confess! I just thought that, even if we can't be lovers, maybe we could be friends. That's why I wanted to join the same club as you… I mean, it would be a bother if I suddenly joined without asking, wouldn't it?”

“You're asking someone who isn't even the club president. All I can tell you is to do whatever you want.”

“This isn't how I imagined it going. And I got rejected even though I didn't confess.”

Her shoulders slumped in dismay, and her usual introvert expression appeared as she looked up at me resentfully.

“So… can I submit the club application?”

“Yeah.”

“You're not just being considerate?”

“I don't mind being in the same club as you, Amanatsu.”

When I answered briefly, she seemed to pull herself together. She smiled, then shyly adjusted her bangs.

“Thank you.”

“I'll say this beforehand because I don't want to give you the wrong idea: if you think becoming closer means we might become a couple someday, you're wasting your time.”

“Yeah, I understand. I really just want us to be friends.”

“…I see.”

If Amanatsu had her own reasons, then fine.

After being completely thrown off, I stretched my back to loosen my stiff body.

“If we're done talking, can I go home now?”

“Yeah. Oh, right!”

Then, after taking the handkerchief from her pocket and clutching it fondly as she hesitated, she held it out to me.

“Here, I'm giving this back. I don't need it anymore.”

“Thanks.”

You'd been on quite a journey too.

“Then, shall we go home?”

Despite saying that, Amanatsu stayed where she was, fidgeting.

Her hands remained in her pockets, and a cute pink phone case occasionally peeked out through the gap.

At this point, I wondered why she had chosen me.

There were plenty of guys more suitable for Amanatsu.

And besides, wanting to remain beside someone you loved while keeping an impossible romance hidden seemed like a crueler punishment game than a fake confession.

The longer we spent together, the more she would probably be hurt.

When the time came for us to part ways, what kind of expression would she show me?

Well, that would be her problem to solve when the time came.

I probably wouldn't suffer any harm.

Not now, not ever…

—Or at least, that was how I should have been able to see it.

But whenever I looked at this clumsy classmate, I couldn't help indulging her.

“Hey, Amanatsu.”

“What is it?”

“…It’s okay, we're friends”

I put away the handkerchief and held up my phone.

“You want to exchange contact information, right?”

Surely, the reason I felt this way was because, somewhere in my heart, I kept seeing that girl in Amanatsu.

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TL: Hell yeah he got his handkerchief back. Progress people, progress!!