Chapter 44: Previous

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Translator: Soafp

---

The night I came home after the class observation day, my father scolded me harshly.

Although, it seemed he was angrier about the fact that I hadn't consulted him beforehand than about what I'd actually done…

I had expected to be lectured.

I knew that if I had talked to him, he would have stopped me anyway, so I accepted it as a necessary cost.

Miko's parents came to apologize that same day.

They clearly hadn't expected things to escalate this badly, and they were extremely flustered.

Miko's mother kept bowing her head to me.

“I'm so sorry, Subaru-kun. This is our family's responsibility. Come on, Miko, apologize too.”

Saying that, she urged Miko to bow her head as well.

But…

“…”

“What are you doing? Apologize!”

“…”

Even at this point, she only remained silent.

Her face twisted and her lips pressed tightly together.

Maybe she was holding back tears; a faint sob could be heard.

“Miko!?”

Why wouldn't she look at me?

Even she must have understood that this was no longer a situation that could be glossed over…

Because of Miko's attitude, the atmosphere became completely unsuitable for continuing the discussion.

Of course it did.

If the perpetrator wasn't showing any remorse, the conversation had no meaning.

Her father left together with Miko, and her mother, who remained, let out a tired sigh.

“I'm sorry… I don't even understand what's happening myself… I'm truly sorry.”

To Miko's mother, who repeated that over and over, I could only nod.

---

From the day of the fake confession, I had vaguely assumed that Miko would eventually come to apologize.

Not some cheap apology based on the expectation that I'd forgive her anyway.

A sincere apology that showed real remorse.

I didn't know exactly what she would need to do for that, but figuring that out was part of the responsibility of the one apologizing.

Only then would I be able to let go of my anger.

Yet, she didn't apologize the next day, or the week after that.

“Miko is the worst, isn't she? She's pushing all the responsibility onto Ayano-kun and getting away with it just because she's Hatsukade's childhood friend, right?”

“Yeah, yeah. Poor Ayano-kun.”

As I walked through the high school hallway, I saw Miko surrounded by girls from her class.

I had been seeing similar scenes often over the past few days.

Ayano had been a hopeless piece of trash, but he had still been a central figure in the class.

There must have been many girls who had feelings for him.

Those kinds of people were probably using Miko as an outlet for their anger, directing nasty words at her.

No—these were the same people who had enjoyed the fake confession while laughing.

They might simply have been enjoying tormenting Miko, who had become so miserable.

“Did you call my name?”

“Hatsukade!?”

“N-Nothing! Haha, see you later!”

Just by me saying a single word, the girls looked at me as if I were a monster.

They immediately scattered like baby spiders fleeing, so I firmly grabbed the shoulder of the one girl who had been too slow to run.

“Where do you think you're going?”

“Eeek!?”

“You brought up my name and then say ‘nothing'? That doesn't fly.”

“…T-That's…”

The classmate girl averted her gaze blatantly.

Until then, I had been isolated as a bullying target, but now I stood out in the classroom for a different reason.

For those who had been involved in the fake confession, the blow I had dealt them on class observation day had apparently become a trauma, and they stopped harassing me entirely.

“I already explained this. The reason I'm not seeking punishment for Miko is because she was trying to stop your harassment. I never said it was because she's my childhood friend.”

“…B-But that's how it is, isn't it!? It's unfair that the worst offender gets away while Ayano-kun alone ends up like that… Hmph!”

She shoved my arm away and ran off.

When I turned around, Miko was looking down.

“…Why do you help me?”

“I'm not helping. They were saying things that were off the mark, so I just corrected them.”

“Just stop it, okay? I don't care what happens to me… Please, don't try to forgive me.”

“…Huh?”

I didn't understand.

Was I trying to forgive her?

Why did such an off-target statement come out?

“Hey!”

“…”

Ignoring my call, Miko walked away.

My childhood friend, with whom I had spent so much time, had become someone I no longer understood.

---

The days that followed were, for me, uneventful.

For now, I made plans and eliminated the annoying people one by one.

Those who didn't have the courage to retaliate against me changed their target to Miko, repeating underhanded bullying and even filming videos of her crying.

So I thoroughly photographed every single act of their wrongdoing and spread it not only to the school and parents, but also to nearby middle schools.

Given that there had already been my bullying issue, the school couldn't ignore this.

And for the exposed students, since the rumors had spread throughout the surrounding area, even if they transferred schools, they probably couldn't psychologically choose a place nearby.

This way, the obstacles would disappear far away.

Perhaps I had gone a bit too far, because the school counselor suggested that I should visit a medical institution.

It was completely absurd.

The ones who weren't in a normal mental state were not the victims of bullying, but the bullies themselves.

I wasn't satisfied with that, but my father said we should follow the teacher's instructions, so I couldn't refuse.

So I used it to my advantage, visiting the psychiatrist a few times and discussing things that I didn't actually feel—like being driven to the brink by bullying and suffering.

Using those medical records, I managed to push out classmates who had been trying to escape punishment to the last possible moment.

In the end, a quarter of the class transferred schools.

Incidentally, the homeroom teacher who had turned a blind eye to the bullying problem also stopped coming to school “due to personal reasons.”

But well, from my perspective, all of that was meaningless.

In the end, Miko never apologized, not even once. She didn't even speak to me until the moment we parted.

Perhaps they concluded that repairing the relationship between us was impossible; Miko's parents decided to move.

At our farewell, Miko said this:

“I don't have the right to be forgiven.”

That was the last words I ever exchanged with Miko.

---

Pleasant classical music flowed through the café.

I had intended to drink slowly, but I had already finished my coffee.

It seemed I had stayed far too long.

“Hey, Miko, if you keep staying silent, then I've come all this way by Shinkansen for nothing.”

“…”

“So I'll make this the last time. Tell me: why did you make that fake confession to me?”

The shoulders of Miko, sitting across from me, twitched slightly.

Her mouth moved hesitantly.

“…Because they said I was childish… that I was always being taken care of by Subaru and staying like an elementary schooler… So I tried to go along with the mood and become an adult like the other girls.”

“So you couldn't refuse the punishment game? You were willing to use me, someone you'd been with all this time, as a stepping stone just to be seen as more grown-up?”

She shook her head.

“It's not that… When everyone told me that a kid like me would never get a boyfriend, I thought they were right. Because I was a useless girl who couldn't do anything without Subaru. So I thought I had to become more independent, even a little.”

“Was that also why you told me not to come pick you up for school anymore?”

“Yeah.”

Somehow, I had figured as much.

Back then, Miko had seemed to be caught up in the moment, pushed by those around her.

But what mattered now wasn't that.

What I wanted to know was why she had suddenly decided to change so drastically.

And based on my high school experience, I already had a good idea.

“Did you want to date me?”

“…”

“You were afraid that if you stayed the way you were, I'd eventually abandon you, right?”

Miko didn't answer, but that silence itself was the answer.

Just as the music in the café switched to the next song, I stood up.

Before we got into a tedious debate about who would pay for the coffee, I quickly settled the bill and left the café with Miko.

The muggy sunlight poured down between the buildings.

I spoke to her, standing beside me.

“I'm glad I could see you today.”

“…Yeah.”

She finally lifted her face and looked at me.

It was as if she were saying this was a final, lifelong farewell.

“Alright, next, show me the way to your house.”

“…Huh? W-What are you talking about?”

“No, I came here planning to stay overnight anyway.”

“Y-You're lying, right? Because you just said you wanted to hear it one last time. That's why I answered….”

“That meant before we left the shop.”

I smiled at Miko, who was utterly speechless.

“Think about it normally. There's no way I could leave without even greeting your parents, who cooperated so much.”

“…”

I had spent far too long looking back on the past in that café.

But now that I remembered it after so long, I felt like I had finally sorted things out in my mind.

There were many things I hadn't noticed back then, and many things I could only think of now.

That alone showed how much my way of thinking had changed through high school life.

That's exactly why I wanted to tell Miko.

And Nakina too.

How long are you going to keep dragging around the past and dawdling?

Hurry up and look forward.

I have to teach them that.