Chapter 58: Pathetic Is Just How It Is

Reading Settings

Uh oh. Mahiro's eyes were dead serious.

At this rate, it was obvious I was going to lose my “Schrödinger’s Virginity” in the most unsafe way possible—not on a bed, but in the corner of her apartment living room.

Naturally, anything that didn’t stay in memory didn’t count anyway.

“H-Hey, slow down and think about this for a second, Mahiro. Have you seriously forgotten how Hashizume used to treat you like you were nothing more than disposable trash?”

“I haven’t forgotten. I really haven’t. But I could never—ever—believe you’re anything like that thing, Yuuya. You always think about me before you say anything, don’t you?”

“…What?”

“Back in high school, when that soccer club guy… That thing was taking advantage of me, you called me out for being an idiot. And when I was drowning in self-loathing because of how stupid I’d been, you stayed by my side and comforted me.”

Wait… what? I had absolutely no memory of that.

If she was talking about the time I encouraged her “true love” with Hashizume, or when I tore into her while she locked herself in her room after falling into depression, then calling those good memories was one hell of a delusion.

Still, Hashizume had already been reduced to “that thing.”

Women really don’t dwell on their exes, seriously. Going by that logic, I was supposed to be a guy from her past too, so how the hell did things end up like this?

“No, no, no, that’s completely wrong. Seriously, when are you going to realize that you get played because you can’t read other people’s intentions…”

“I really had terrible taste in men back then. I kept getting drawn to shallow guys who only looked good on the surface, while completely pushing aside a genuinely great guy like you, Yuuya. I regretted it so much.”

“Look, none of that even matters right now…”

“Now I finally understand how much my words hurt you back then. Yet despite all that, you’re still so kind to me. I can’t thank you enough.”

“That’s why I’m telling you to calm down.”

“I always wanted to truly repay you… no, the truth is, I just didn’t want us to drift apart like that. So I decided to become someone I wouldn’t be ashamed of, and I worked really hard. But even after trying to improve myself, I barely got any chances to see you.”

“That’s news to me.”

“Even when I lost it after hearing you got a girlfriend and started working at a brothel, you still got furious out of genuine concern for me, right?”

“…”

Damn it. Mahiro probably wasn’t doing it on purpose, but that “bumping into Mahiro at a brothel” disaster was a pure cosmic anomaly—a nightmare scenario born from an insanely low-probability coincidence mutating into ultimate cringe. She needed to stop digging up my dark past right now.

Besides, back then, most of my rant was out of concern for Chihiro-san anyway.

“That’s why I’ve been dying to repay you. I know it’s selfish for someone who rejected you once to suddenly ask to be your girlfriend.”

“Well, yeah, but…”

“But no one else shares the bond of being your childhood friend, and I’m not giving up this position. So if it means keeping this spot, I don’t care if I’m just a sex friend. As long as it satisfies you, Yuuya.”

“Oof…”

“That way, I can repay my debt a little bit, and you’ll stay by my side… right? Just like Temari.”

Some unsettling word popped out at the very end. Though, as for that Temari, she was currently leaving all my LIME messages on read!!

Wait, was Mahiro actually jealous of Temari’s position this whole time?! As if building a normal friendship with a girl who dumped you in the past is even possible!

However, no matter how much I cursed in my head, from the outside, I looked completely compromised. After all, the mass-produced cavernous body between my legs was in full combat readiness.

Say what you want, but Mahiro’s body was stupidly milk-tastic—err, attractive. It’s not time to splash dick milk yet, pull yourself together, self!

Wait, isn’t this bad?

The Splash Mountain in my pants is just a matter of time.

I tried to resist with reason, but the situation remained a stalemate. If we actually had intercourse like this, a soul-crushing post-nut clarity would definitely await me.

Even if we enforced a f**k-buddy relationship, the future held no glorious triumph—only a complete regression of my humanity. I’d literally turn into a h***y monkey, Toyotomi Hideyoshi himself.

Man, Japanese has a lot of words ending in “-kou”…

Wait, this was no time for mental escapism. Persuade the h***y b***h, persuade her!!

“Th-That’s why I’m telling you to calm down! Just think about this for a second! Being sex friends is basically saying, ‘I don’t take any responsibility’! What happens if we get carried away, you end up pregnant, and I run away?!”

“It’s okay. You were worried about that before, so I started taking birth control pills.”

“…WHAAAT?!”

“See? So whether it’s once, a hundred times, or ten trillion times, it doesn’t make any difference. We’re completely fine.”

“Why are you acting like some Cirno-level idiot right now?! Just stay, stay!!”

I desperately tried to keep things from spiraling out of control, caught in a fierce tug-of-war between instinct and reason.

At this rate, our heated argument looked like it would continue until our savior, Chihiro-san, finally came home.

Yuuya thirty minutes later:

“Aaarrrgghhh!!”