Chapter 16 – What Now?

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While everyone else was busy gossiping about Girl A's attempted suicide, my mind was somewhere else entirely. No matter how much they ran their mouths, nothing was ever going to change. Just the same fake concern, the same bullshit sympathy, the same endless cycle of empty words and crocodile tears.

What a f*****g joke.

I slumped at my desk, half-listening to the background noise before homeroom started, letting it all wash over me like static. Then, out of nowhere, Mahiro appeared at my side.

“…Hey, Yuuya.”

“…”

“I’m sorry for being ungrateful. I was out of line yesterday… I really regret it. I’m sorry.”

“…”

I didn't even bother looking at her. Just sat there, arms folded, eyes pointed anywhere but at her face. She had already pissed me off this morning by sending some pathetic LINE message, which I left on read before deleting the whole damn chat without a second thought. I had made it pretty f*****g clear I wasn't going to talk to her anymore, so what the hell was she still doing here?

I shut my eyes, pretending to sleep, silently hoping she would take the hint and f**k off. But of course, she didn't. Instead, she raised her voice like that would somehow fix anything.

“Listen, you don't have to forgive me. But please, just talk to Temari. She didn't mean what she said—she really wants to apologize to you.”

“…”

What the hell was she even saying?

Like hell Temari didn't mean it. She’d been running her mouth about me long before we even met. None of it was new. None of it was surprising. It wasn't some slip of the tongue; it was just who she was.

“Temari’s really torn up about it. She’s completely lost it, even had tears in her eyes. I couldn't just ignore it.”

“…Shut the f**k up. Who was the one who got hurt? Who was the one doing the hurting? Don't act like I'm some side character who made her suffer.”

“…I’m sorry. But…”

Crying, huh?

Must be f*****g nice.

Girls cry, and suddenly the world stops spinning for them. Suddenly they’re the victims, even when they're the ones who started all the s**t in the first place.

If I had broken down yesterday, if I had cried right there in front of everyone, they wouldn't have comforted me. They would've laughed their asses off, called me a pussy, told me to man the f**k up because guys aren’t supposed to cry.

Maybe the only ones who would ever see me, really see me, are little kids. The thought hit me out of nowhere, dark and ugly. It was so f*****g ridiculous it almost made me laugh. Made me wonder if that's how those creeps ended up snapping, turning into pedos, because adults were nothing but selfish, fake pieces of s**t.

I clenched my jaw tight enough it hurt. No point getting worked up over it. No point pretending the world would ever be fair. Every time I thought I was getting along with someone, every time I thought maybe, just maybe, things were different, they would remind me exactly what I was. Weak. Disposable. Something they could kick around whenever they got bored.

“I told you, I have nothing more to say.”

Still curled up in my seat, I stayed perfectly still, not moving a muscle, not giving her an inch. At some point, I heard her footsteps fade away, giving up and walking off.

Good.

About f*****g time.

***

F**k this. F**k all of this.

Nothing mattered anymore.

Why should I waste my time worrying about anyone else? That's the kind of thing fools do. I didn't have the energy left to care. From now on, I decided, I'd just live for myself.

…Or so I thought.

Because not even a full day later, Hashizume dragged me out to the back garden during lunch.

Figures.

Was this about yesterday?

I didn't want to get hit, but if he even so much as raised a hand, I'd make a scene right there. My fingers curled into a fist inside my pocket, already bracing for the worst.

“…Nakanishi, I need to ask you something.”

“Huh?”

Hashizume didn't look angry. No fists, no fake bravado. If anything, the b*****d seemed… tense. Hesitant.

“S**t’s bad. The soccer club's in trouble. We got called in for an emergency meeting after school.”

“…Why?”

“Because she tried to kill herself.”

“Who did?”

“…The girl I was with before Mahiro.”

Ah.

That explained a lot.

I didn't know the whole story, but it made sense. The pieces slotted together in my head, and my stomach tightened.

“So she really was forced into that kinda s**t, huh?”

“…”

“Karma's a b***h, huh?”

“…”

Even after everything that happened yesterday, he just stood there, letting me talk. No arguments. No excuses.

He must have been seriously cornered.

Which meant the school probably found out why she tried to take her life. Maybe she left a note. Maybe she left something even worse.

And if she did, Mahiro was about to get dragged down too.

Not that it mattered to me.

The plan had been a joke from the beginning.

“Anyway, you guys are pretty much down to two choices now.”

“…..What do you mean by that?”

He jumped at my words like a drowning man grabbing at driftwood.

He was desperate enough to ask me for advice.

Low point for him. Real low.

“You either come clean or you shut up completely.”

“…”

What an idiot.

Why was he even asking me, the one they screwed over, for help?

Panic makes people stupid, I guess.

Still, even I could tell the situation was bad.

“I'm guessing the girl left something behind. A message, a video, a diary, whatever. Something that points fingers. That's why they're dragging in the whole soccer club instead of just you. The school probably doesn't have rock-solid proof yet. Just enough to make connections. That's why they're interrogating first instead of handing down punishments.”

“…”

“They're not gonna expel anyone just because someone points and says ‘he did it.’ But if you guys fumble your answers, if someone cracks under pressure, it's over. So your options? Confess and take the lighter hit… or keep your mouths shut and pray nobody slips.”

“…”

“Not that keeping quiet's gonna save you. Somebody always folds eventually. People aren’t built to handle that kind of pressure. If you want my honest advice? Confess. Deal with the fallout now. Dragging it out just makes it worse.”

“…”

Hashizume didn't say anything.

His face was locked up tight, impossible to read, but you could tell he was thinking.

Probably calculating the odds.

Knowing them, they were already planning to deny everything and hope it blew over.

Idiots.

“Well, that's all I've got for you.”

“…I see. I'll keep that in mind. Thanks.”

He actually thanked me.

Didn't see that coming.

Then, like he suddenly remembered he was on a deadline, he spun around and jogged back toward the building.

I dug my hand deeper into my pocket and quietly ended the recording on my phone.

I had to protect myself too.

If the school decided it was easier to bury the scandal and protect their precious soccer team, I wasn't about to be the one left holding the bag.

After all, what's one suicidal girl compared to the bright futures of a few promising athletes?