Chapter 31 – Neither Communication Nor Ejac*lation Works Out

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“I heard you got a girlfriend, so why are you here…?”

“Don't answer my question with a question. I'll ask again—why the hell are you here, Mahiro?”

“W-Well… private universities are just too expensive, and…”

“You idiot!! There are way better jobs than this out there!!”

“O-Of course I thought that too… but when Temari told me you got a girlfriend, and…”

“What the hell does that have to do with anything?”

…So it really was her. She must've been the one spreading the rumors.

“I don't know, hearing that just made me stop caring about getting a proper job. I'd turned Mami down before, but this time I just kind of… snapped. So I took the offer and started today. I didn't think you of all people would be my first customer…”

I couldn't understand even half of what she was saying. What the f**k was I supposed to do with this?

Why the hell does me getting a girlfriend make her stop giving a s**t about living a decent life? That logic's f*****g broken.

Also… who the hell is Mami? Judging from how she talks, probably a friend of Mahiro's, but I sure as hell don't remember her.

Still, what are the f*****g odds I'd be Mahiro's first customer. Is that good luck or bad? Maybe lucky for her, but for me, it's a complete shitshow.

“Besides, didn't you say you couldn't stand guys like me? Working here means dealing with people like that no matter what.”

“Eh…?”

The hell is with that blank stare?

“You seriously don't remember saying that to me two and a half years ago? How the f**k did you pass your college entrance exams with that kind of memory?”

“! T-That was… I mean, that's not what I meant…”

“Don't bullshit me.”

“It's not! I swear it's not! I don't think that way at all anymore. I honestly think it's amazing how hard you studied and got into TH University, and I regret that we stopped talking like we used to!”

Yeah, sure. Now, huh. What a load of crap.

Well, I guess I can believe that my reputation improved a little in her eyes. But that's only because I actually made it into college, right? If it's just about my academic credentials, I guess I'm decent on paper.

In the end, Mahiro's probably only seeing me through the lens of “TH University student.” Some fancy label she can show off to others.

F*****g ridiculous.

Right as I came to that conclusion, Mahiro suddenly turned it around and fired back at me.

“Hey, then why are you here, if you've got a girlfriend? Couldn't she take care of it for you…?”

F**k. That's exactly the line of questioning I was trying to dodge earlier. Let my guard down for a second, and now here we are.

But no way in hell I'm gonna say, “Actually, we're not even dating anymore. She dumped me.” I've got my pride, damn it.

“Don't lump my girlfriend in with someone who'd f**k right after getting together.”

Yeah, I put on a brave face. Sorry, God. I lied. If I ever go to a shrine, I'll toss in extra coins at the offertory box. Please let this one slide.

“W-Wait… so you haven't done anything with her yet…?”

“…No.”

Seriously though, I'm just gonna ignore the part where I said she'd f**k right away. Not worth backtracking now.

“So… you're still a virgin…?”

“Shut the hell up, not your f*****g business! What, is that a problem?! At least I'm not some disease-ridden s**t. I've got standards, both moral and medical!”

Why the hell do experienced people always look down on virgins?

It's so f*****g annoying…

“Then… hey, if you want…”

“…What?”

“If you're okay with it… I could be your first.”

“…………”

“I-I mean, only if you're okay with it…”

“…The f**k?”

“You don't want it… with me?”

My brain f*****g froze. That was such an absurd suggestion, my thoughts just straight-up fermented.

“Like hell! This place doesn't even allow full service anyway!!”

That's not the issue. I'm losing my mind from this whiplash of insanity.

Hell no. If I lost my virginity to Mahiro in a place like this, I'd walk away not just with the “spineless b*****d who gave it up to some trashy s**t” title, but also probably an STD. I’d be pissing fire and dancing the Heart-on-Wave from the catheter pain.

And then Tamari would probably go off on some girls' group chat like, “Yuya totally blew his load in, like, three strokes. I can't even. Dude’s a living punchline.”

“Guess… that means you don't want to…”

“That's not the f*****g point! Besides, what the hell do you think Chihiro-san would say about this!? You think she'd be happy seeing you working at a dump like this!? Your brain's stuck in high school mode! You haven't grown a damn bit! Can't you take better care of yourself for once?! Please!!”

“!!”

“Anyway, I'll keep this whole thing to myself, alright? Just quit this job and find something legit. I won't be able to sleep at night otherwise!”

For real, give me a break. Losing my V-card here would just come with way too many consequences.

Don't drag me into your mess. And don't make Chihiro-san cry.

Also, cut ties with that Mami chick. Immediately.