Chapter 30 – Mission: Climbing the Adult Stairway (Private Room)

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The day after I got dumped by Naegi-san, I skipped university. So this is what they call a “college debut,” huh.

Well, I guess I can't really blame myself. If I go to campus, I'd have to see those two. Absolute hell. I was bracing myself for getting rejected, sure—but I never expected Nishida to be part of it too. And now, going to class just means I've got no one left to talk to. Social death achieved. Congratulations to me.

Looks like I'm officially a loner in college too. Ain't that just peachy. Call me Jean f*****g Valjean, because this is Les Misérables.

I told myself I was ready to take the risk, but now? S**t, I regret ever confessing. What a goddamn mistake.

And of course, rumors spread like wildfire.

“Oh look, it's the guy who got turned down by Naegi-san! Ehehehe!”

Screw that. I don't wanna deal with that crap.

Honestly, I might just drop out and take the TK University entrance exam next year. Like that girl with the red shoes—I wanna go far away. If it means getting away from here, I don't care if I get dragged off by a foreigner, worked to the bone by one, or even sucked off by one. All within acceptable limits if it gets me outta this place.

Knock knock.

“Yuuya—how are you feeling?”

Oh s**t, Mom's back from work. She's checking in on me, even though I'm faking being sick. Family love really hits different.

“Ah, yeah, I'm fin—Chihiro-san?”

Wait what?

Right behind Mom, looking pale as a ghost, was Chihiro-san.

Then suddenly, she rushed straight toward me.

“Yuuya-kun! Is it true you got a girlfriend!?”

“…Huh?”

Wait just a goddamn second. How the hell does she know that? I haven't even told Mom about it.

And also—hello? We're already over. Actually, we weren't even together to begin with. It was all in limbo from the start. Ha-f*****g-ha. The emptiness is eating me alive. “Sentimental” doesn't even begin to cover it.

…It was Temari, wasn't it. Temari blabbed to Mahiro, and Mahiro told Chihiro-san. F*****g hell, should've kept my mouth shut. I seriously need to reflect on my dumbass choices.

But now, how the hell am I supposed to say, “Actually, we broke up,” or, “We weren't even dating in the first place”? That hits my pride as a man right where it hurts.

“Ah, well, yeah, it's true. I was thinking of telling everyone soon, actually, ahaha…”

I'll just play along for now. Later, I'll say, “Turns out we weren't a good match, so we broke up.” That should smooth things over.

…Sigh.

This feels like getting hit with a surprise attack while I'm already down. If I was gonna get assaulted, I'd prefer a full-body hold or something, damn it.

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I faked being sick for another two days, but even I couldn't just hide forever. Bracing myself, I dragged my a*s to campus.

Stepped into the lecture hall.

First thing I noticed—no one was whispering behind my back. Relief level: moderate.

Second, neither Naegi-san nor Nishida showed up for the required class. Relief level: high.

…But hang on. If both of them are skipping… yeah, that probably means exactly what I think it does. Those bastards. Rotten to the core. Hope his dick falls off.

Whatever. As long as they're not around, peace returns to my campus life.

—Assuming, of course, I can get my own head out of the emotional blender.

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The weekend came way too fast.

I ended up not seeing Naegi-san or Nishida even once all week.

What the hell are those two up to? Word on the grapevine says someone saw Naegi-san heading into Nishida's apartment. Yeah. That's where we're at now. Probably playing house already. Full-blown honeymoon baby-making sessions, no doubt.

Meanwhile, I'm still a f*****g virgin. The gap just keeps getting wider. Goddammit.

Screw this. I need to blow off some steam. Get out. Have fun.

…Checked my wallet and found 50,000 yen in there. Oh right—I pulled that out for clothes shopping and just left it in there.

Hmmm. I could deposit it back, sure… or…

A spark hit me.

With this much cash, I could totally hit up Yagiyama Penisland. A magical place where dreams (and boobs) bounce, jiggle, and roll around in endless wonder.

Yes. The world of fuzoku awaits.

Every time I think about Nishida and Naegi-san doing the nasty, I spiral. And that's mostly because I've never even touched a woman before.

But if I graduate from virginhood—if I climb those sacred adult stairs—maybe I'll finally be able to move on and look at those two from a distance, with a lukewarm “good for them” attitude.

…………

Hmm. Speaking of fuzoku, there's Kokubuncho, right?

Caught up in my hazy train of thought, I found myself buying a subway ticket without even realizing it.

――――――――――――

But.

Soapland would’ve cost me everything in my wallet, so I decided to be smart about it. Start with a beginner-friendly course and work my way up.

So I worked up the nerve and went into a private room health spot.

“There's a new girl here—very sweet, and currently attending a top-tier women's university. I'm sure you'll love her, sir!”

The staff recommending her like she was some rare collectible.

And when she walked in—

“Thank you for choo— Wh-What are you doing here, Yuuya…!?”

“That's my f*****g line!! What the hell are you doing here, Mahiro!? Chihiro-san's gonna cry, damn it!!”

The new girl they pushed onto me—the one they hyped up as a fresh face—was none other than Mahiro, my childhood friend. Talk about jackpot-level cursed coincidence. This is rarer than a one-hit jackpot at the damn pachinko parlor.

And seriously… that outfit. It's basically a see-through baby doll that covers nothing. And she's actually wearing it.

What the hell!

She had the nerve to say “skinny guys gross me out” back in high school, but now she's working in a brothel where you can't even choose your clients?

I lost any and all will to f**k. Goddamn it. I want my money back, you damn scam artist.