Chapter 18: Protect
Translator: Soafp
[Father PoV]
It was already evening, and I found myself stuck at work due to a last-minute call that came in. These unexpected overtime shifts were always a hassle, but thankfully, I had someone special to talk to whenever they occurred.
Glancing at my phone, a smile tugged at my lips. Conversations with this person never failed to brighten my mood, even on the toughest days.
But despite the momentary distraction, my mind couldn’t help but drift back to a recent, agonizing decision I had to make. I regretted it deeply, wishing I could turn back time and undo what I started.
It all started with a harmless curiosity that spiraled out of control, leading to unforeseen consequences. And in the end, it was my son who paid the price for my actions.
His smile he once had was now nowhere to be seen. I always wanted to protect the smile he has but it started to fade away when his mother was dying because of b****t cancer. When his mother left the world his smile was gone.
I wanted to see the smile again, I thought maybe he needs motherly love. So, I started dating and that’s how I met Yumi.
Yumi was a single mother when I met her, and she chose not to disclose the details of her past marriage.
She hinted that it was a painful chapter she preferred to keep closed, and I respected her decision, understanding that everyone harbors secrets they’re not ready to share….including myself.
After two years, I married Yumi, and she moved in with us. I hoped that our marriage would bring about a positive change and restore the happiness that seemed to have faded since Ryota’s mother passed away. However, things took a turn for the worse from that point onward.
Yuto came to know what I was desperately trying to protect. So, in order to keep it protected I had to side with him.
During the arguments he had with Ryota, I consistently reprimanded Ryota instead of Yuto, making excuses for Yuto’s behavior.
I knew it was wrong, but I felt compelled to protect it. This kept going on and on.
Eventually, he was arrested, I knew deep down that he was innocent because I already knew who the real perpetrator was. Under normal circumstances, I would have defended him without hesitation. But I couldn’t afford to do that this time.
The stakes were too high, the consequences too dire. So, I made the difficult choice to lie and withhold my belief in him, feigning disappointment and disillusionment instead.
As Ryota pleaded his innocence from behind bars, I found myself unable to stand by him.
Gazing into his eyes, I witnessed a flicker of his usual spirit extinguishing, replaced by a haunting emptiness. The weight of my betrayal bore heavily upon me as I struggled to reconcile my actions with my role as a parent.
Unable to bear the anguish in the room any longer, I excused myself, my departure steeped in a facade of disappointment. Deep down, however, I grappled with the knowledge that I had forsaken my own son.
One week had passed, and Ryota would finally be freed. Waiting in the lobby for his release, I concealed my true emotions behind a mask of disappointment, determined to protect my secret.
As we left the station and headed home, the journey was shrouded in silence.
Upon arriving home, chaos erupted. Overwhelmed by anger and self-loathing, I lashed out at my son, unable to contain the turmoil brewing within me.
Shocked by my own actions and the harm I had inflicted upon my son, I realized that this cycle of pain and betrayal had to end. I couldn’t bear to see him suffer any longer.
That’s why I made the difficult decision to kick him out of the house. He deserved to be free from the toxicity. Staying with me would only bring him further pain and suffering.
I cried inwardly, trying to convince myself that it was for the best.
During those days, I found solace in talking to someone on my phone. It was this person who helped me keep my head above water.
Without this person, I would have broken down already.
After that day I kicked Ryota out of the house, I haven’t seen him since. I hope he is okay. As I was walking towards home I was thinking about that.
“Be safe Ryota.”
Once I was near my door, I opened the door and walked inside.
“I am home.”
“Welcome back.”
“….”
I closed the door behind me and walked towards the living room.
I saw that the air in the room was heavy.
“What is going on…”
“…Dear, there is something you need to know.”
I knew something was up.
I walked over to the empty seat and waited for Yumi to say something.
It took a moment but she finally spoke.
“Yuto got arrested today.”
He got arrested today? Did the police found out?
“He got…arrested…What did he do.”
“…Possessing a switchblade, framing, involved in the fight and assault on girl…”
I knew the majority but assault on a girl is new for me.
Many thoughts raced through my mind. Did I need to protect Yuto now? Would he reveal my secret? What would become of this family? Despite the turmoil, I knew I had to maintain my facade.
“This has to be some mistake right?!”
“I went to the police station and they have clear evidence that Yuto is the perpetrator. His life is over…He won’t be able to live normally in this society..”
“…”
He’s beyond help now. There’s nothing I can do for him.
As the mood got heavier and heavier, I left the room and went upstairs to my room.
Is this finally over? I don’t have to side with Yuto anymore. As I went to my room and closed the door, I collapsed onto my knees. Emotions began to overwhelm me, and I couldn’t contain them any longer.
“…uuuggghhhh….I’m sorry, Ryota. I knew you would never commit a crime… I tried to satisfy myself, but I also tried to keep you happy. But you had to pay the price for it. I hate myself for this. It’s because of who I am…. I am sorry, Ryota. Deep down, I knew I should never have started it.”
I am so sorry, Ryota. I wish I could apologize to you right now.
As these words echoed in my mind, I couldn’t help but feel the weight of the pain I had caused, not just to myself, but to my son as well. The realization hit me like a ton of bricks, sinking deep into my heart with a profound sense of regret and remorse.
I had failed as a father. Instead of protecting and supporting Ryota, I had allowed my own weaknesses and insecurities to dictate my actions, leading to his unjust suffering and anguish.
With each passing moment, the guilt gnawed at my conscience, tearing me apart from the inside out. How could I have been so blind, so selfish, to sacrifice my son’s well-being for the sake of my own desires?
The pain was unbearable, a constant reminder of the irreparable damage I had inflicted upon Ryota’s life. I wished desperately for a chance to turn back time, to undo the mistakes I had made and to set things right with my son.
But deep down, I knew that some wounds could never fully heal, no matter how fervently I wished for redemption. All I could do now was to carry the weight of my remorse and vow to never again betray the trust of the ones I loved.
With a heavy heart, I whispered into the empty room, my voice filled with sorrow and regret.
“I am so sorry, Ryota. Please forgive me.”
The next morning, I found myself seated at the kitchen table, quietly eating my breakfast. Nao was also there, her presence a reminder of the strained atmosphere in the house.
Yumi remained on the couch, her demeanor reflecting the lingering distress over what had transpired with Yuto.
Midway through my meal, a sharp knock echoed through the house, drawing my attention. I rose from my seat and made my way to the door, feeling a sense of apprehension as I opened it to find a police officer standing on the other side.
“Good morning, sir.”
“Good morning officer. Is there something I can assist you with?”
In the background, a distant screech added to the uneasy atmosphere, prompting the officer to inquire about the situation indoors.
“Is everything alright?”
“We’re going through a challenging time at the moment. Please excuse the disturbance. What brings you here today?”
I explained, offering a brief explanation without delving into details.
“Right…..I came here because I have something to inform you.”
With a sense of anticipation and anxiety, I awaited the officer’s response.
“Your son, Ryota jumped off a building and is now in critical condition. He is currently staying in the hospital.”
I heard glass falling on the ground in the background when the officer said that.
The words echoed in my mind like a haunting refrain, each syllable piercing through me like a shard of glass. “Jumped off a building… critical condition…”
My heart clenched painfully in my chest, the weight of those words bearing down on me with suffocating force. It felt as though the ground had been ripped from beneath my feet, leaving me suspended in a void of despair.
The sound of shattering glass behind me snapped me back to reality, amplifying the gravity of the situation. A surge of panic coursed through me as I turned, witnessing the physical manifestation of the chaos that now engulfed our lives.
“J-jumping off…”
I stammered, my voice trembling with disbelief and anguish. The image of Ryota, my son, teetering on the edge of that precipice, haunted my thoughts, filling me with a profound sense of horror and despair.
Every fiber of my being screamed with regret, an agony that threatened to consume me whole. How could I have allowed things to spiral so out of control? How could I have failed my own son so miserably?
Emotions surged within me like a turbulent storm, swirling and colliding with relentless intensity. Guilt, remorse, fear… they tore at my soul, leaving me shattered and vulnerable in their wake.
I nearly lost my son—my own flesh and blood—because of my actions, because of my cowardice and selfishness. The realization hit me like a sledgehammer, driving home the gravity of the situation with brutal clarity.
As the officer offered his condolences, I thanked him, my mind reeling with a whirlwind of emotions.
Turning back to the kitchen, I found Nao staring at me with wide eyes, her breakfast forgotten. Yumi sat on the couch, her hands trembling as she clutched a cup of tea.
“I am going to the hospital.”
“I am coming with you.”
“Don’t you have school, Nao?”
“I don’t care about that. I want to see Onii-chan.”
She really is a good girl. Even when Ryota was arrested, she stood by him, believing in his innocence. Unlike me, who had doubted him and abandoned him like a piece of trash.
The thought of my actions weighed heavily on my conscience, stirring up a mix of guilt and regret.
“Got it.”
We made our way to the car and headed to the hospital.
Please be safe, Ryota.
Alucard90
April 18, 2024 at 12:10 amSafe? Too late to wish for that. You have failed your kin
Koukiri
April 18, 2024 at 12:11 amTbh I’m more curious about the Dad’s secret.
Xson
April 18, 2024 at 1:51 amHe has a lover and step son found out
beatricenovelas
May 13, 2024 at 4:23 amWhat do you think he was protecting you from?
And how did he protect him “that way”?
Besides, “I nearly lost my son”?
Bro, your son is currently more lost than found…
Skarkio
April 18, 2024 at 2:04 amThis whole paragraph:
“…uuuggghhhh….I’m sorry, Ryota. I knew you would never commit a crime… [ … ] “I am so sorry, Ryota. I wish I could apologize to you right now.”
is duplicated.
Alucard90
April 18, 2024 at 2:16 amI thought the same. The second time he was thinking it.
Soafp
April 18, 2024 at 8:10 amfixed, thanks
karnal0z
April 18, 2024 at 2:44 amI repeat. The worst of the worst father ever I read here.
MangHose
April 18, 2024 at 5:08 amRevoke your parental rights this instant. You knew deep within that your biological son would never do such a thing yet you sided with the one who always caused trouble because you are that much of a coward to man up.
Even Shou Tucker would be surprised that someone would be giving him competition as the “Worst Father of All Time”. Maybe it’s a blessing that his first wife died because she didn’t have to witness the deeds of this walking human garbage.
LockON
April 18, 2024 at 5:21 amBoth Ryota’s parents and his ex girlfriend were listed as unapproved guests to visit Ryota in the hospital. Kenji’s work no doubt…
J Caio Crane
April 18, 2024 at 8:04 amI thought my dad was trash, but damn, this one makes him look nice
Alucard90
April 19, 2024 at 12:40 pmHe’s trash.
LockON
April 19, 2024 at 5:45 amI was wondering if the endgame is the end of Ryota’s family in a worst way possible due to what they did.
Alucard90
April 19, 2024 at 12:44 pmIt probably is. The family is already splintered. Stepmom’s son is a criminal. Stepmom feels incredibly stupid and guilt ridden. Father is possibly cheating. Step sister absolutely hates them both and doesn’t trust them. Which I think is smart on her part. And MC has a broken mind.