Chapter 9: Impatience

Reading Settings

Translator: Soafp

---

Lately, Rin has been acting strange.

No—what's strange isn't Rin herself, but the atmosphere around her.

Monday morning. When I entered the classroom, Rin was talking to Yui.

For once, Rin had spoken first, and Yui was listening with a smirk.

I tried to approach and join the conversation—but Rin closed her mouth.

“Good morning, Rin.”

“…Morning.”

She replied. But the expression from a moment ago was gone.

Her usual blank face. Her usual coldness.

…That in itself isn't unusual.

Rin is always like this in front of me.

But—what was that softness from just a moment ago?

I spoke to Yui.

“Hey, Ogawa. What were you talking about with Rin?”

“Hm? Nothing, just about a book.”

“A book?”

“Yeah. The series Rin's been reading lately.”

A book.

I knew Rin liked books. She'd been spending all her time in the library since elementary school.

But—it was rare for Rin to talk about books to someone on her own. Even with me, she wouldn't talk unless asked.

“What series?”

“Some overseas mystery series. Do you read it, Mimura?”

“Nah, I don't read much.”

“Oh, I see.”

Yui was smiling. A smile that seemed to carry some hidden meaning. What did she know?

Rin had already returned to her seat.

She faced away from me, taking her textbooks out of her bag.

…Damn it.

If it's about books, she could've just talked to me too.

But I didn't have the courage to say it.

If I said, “Talk to me about books,” Rin would probably just brush me off with, “You're not interested, right?”

It wasn't that I wasn't interested—but I didn't have the confidence to follow a conversation about the kind of difficult books Rin reads.

So I said nothing.

I sat at my own desk, saying nothing.

---

Lunchtime.

I ate with Sakamoto and the others in the classroom.

Lately, the group's atmosphere had subtly changed.

Even when I tried to start a conversation, the responses were slow.

There was less laughter.

Before, if I threw a joke, someone would catch it right away—but now, there was always a pause.

“Hey, did you hear? Fujimiya apparently came to the volunteer activity for the fourth time too.”

When I said it, Sakamoto looked up from his lunch.

“Ah… yeah.”

“And he came voluntarily, too. Even after the punishment ended, going out of his way to come—how desperate is that?”

“Well, it's a volunteer thing, so it's fine, isn't it?”

“Huh? His goal is obvious. He's after Himuro—”

“Sota,” Tanaka cut in.

His voice was lower than usual.

“What?”

“Aren't you being a bit too persistent? Talking about Fujimiya all the time.”

…Here we go again.

“Persistent? I'm just stating facts.”

“No, it's not really facts—it's your opinion. Whether Fujimiya goes to volunteer or not is his choice, and what his purpose is has nothing to do with us.”

“It's not nothing. If Rin's bothered—”

“Did Himuro say she was bothered?”

“….”

“She didn't, right? You're just assuming it, So…ta.”

That hit me.

But—I couldn't argue.

Whether Rin was bothered or not.

She hadn't said anything. I was the one judging on my own.

But—I could tell.

Rin is bad at speaking up, the type who can't say no when something bothers her.

That's why I—

“Sota.”

Tanaka's voice continued quietly.

“Neither I nor Sakamoto dislike you. But lately, it's really tough.”

“…Tough how?”

“Talking bad about Fujimiya. You write about him in the group chat all the time, and even at lunch it's all about him. Honestly… it's exhausting for the listeners.”

Sakamoto was eating his lunch silently. He wasn't denying it, so he agreed.

“…Is it my fault?”

“It's not about fault. Just—stop, that's all. Everyone can judge Fujimiya for themselves.”

I couldn't say anything.

I forced the rest of my lunch into my mouth and stood up.

“Thanks for the meal.”

“Ah, Sota—”

I left the classroom, hearing Sakamoto's voice behind me.

---

I walked down the hallway. I had nowhere to go.

I just didn't want to be there.

…Tough?

I was only stating facts.

Fujimiya is a playboy—that's a fact.

He's getting close to Rin—that's a fact.

What's wrong with pointing that out?

Tanaka and Sakamoto—they're ultimately on Fujimiya's side.

He's personable. Charming.

He's just good at getting people on his side.

The person inside—

…The person inside—what is it?

Do I even know Fujimiya's true self?

I don't. I've barely even talked to him.

But—I don't need to know.

He's a pI@yb0y, and he's not right for Rin.

That alone is enough.

…It should be enough.

Walking along the second-floor corridor, I saw the courtyard through the window.

Fujimiya Ito was there.

Sitting on a bench in the courtyard, laughing and talking with a few boys from the neighboring class.

There were girls in the group too. Blending in naturally.

Someone showed something on their phone, and everyone laughed together.

They looked happy.

Everyone looked happy.

There were always people around Fujimiya.

Around me—people were starting to drift away.

That contrast stabbed at my chest.

---

After school.

I called out to Rin.

I tried to speak a little more consciously, gently than usual.

“Rin, let's go home.”

“…I'm stopping by the library with Yui today.”

“Oh, I see… then should I wait?”

“No need to wait. It might take a while.”

“No, it's fine. I've got time.”

Rin looked at me.

Eyes measuring me, calculating.

“…Sota.”

“Hm?”

“Lately, haven't you been acting… weird?”

My heart jumped.

“Weird how?”

“In the past—before—say stuff like ‘let's go home' or ‘I'll wait' every day.”

“No, I said that before—”

“You didn't.”

She stated it firmly.

“….”

“Sudden things like this are actually unnatural.”

Rin stood, holding her bag.

“…Sorry.”

“You don't need to apologize. Just… act normal.”

She left the classroom with Yui.

Just act normal.

—What is “normal”?

Was I “normal” until now?

Just being near the one I liked, feeling safe without expressing my feelings, showing off with insults—was that my “normal”?

And Rin—she hadn't felt anything for that “normal.”

…No.

It's not true.

Rin must feel something special about me.

We've been childhood friends. Over ten years together.

She's just—not straightforward.

Rin is that kind of person.

Yes, I told myself that.

The same excuse, for who knows how many times.

---

Walking home alone.

I opened my phone. The group chat.

I hadn't posted anything after lunch. Tanaka's words still stuck with me.

But—if I stay silent, another worry arises.

If I don't say anything, will I disappear from their awareness?

In the group, will they think nothing changes even if I'm gone?

So I typed.

“Today I invited Rin to go home, and she turned me down. She's been really cold lately. Well, always has been lol.”

…There it was again.

Using Rin as material for a joke like this.

I waited for a reply.

One minute. Three minutes. Five minutes.

It was read.

But—no one replied.

Even after ten minutes, no reply.

I put my phone in my pocket.

My hands were trembling a little.

I'm scared.

I don't want to admit it, but—I'm scared.

The atmosphere around me has changed.

Sakamoto and Tanaka don't laugh like before.

Rin is keeping her distance.

The group chat is silent.

All of it—started when Fujimiya showed up.

Ever since he got close to Rin, the gears started to slip.

If only he weren't there—

…Really?

Is it really all his fault?

A small voice whispered in my head.

Maybe it's just that you didn't change.

You relied on being next to Rin and didn't make any effort.

You protected yourself by talking badly about someone else, and you just convinced yourself that it was fine.

I crushed that voice.

I can't admit it.

If I admit it, what happens to me?

Ten years of “Rin and I are fine” would all be a lie.

So—I won't admit it.

Not yet.

I got home and collapsed onto my bed.

Staring at the ceiling.

I didn't feel like doing anything.

A new message appeared in the group chat on my phone.

It was from Sakamoto.

“Sota, free this weekend? Wanna grab a meal?”

…Sakamoto.

He's—still trying to reach out like this.

I typed a reply.

“I'll go.”

Sent it, and placed the phone on my chest.

Sakamoto is still trying to maintain the connection.

But Tanaka's eyes were cold.

Even a few others seemed to be avoiding me lately.

Somewhere in my head, I knew it was all the result of my own actions.

I knew it—but I couldn't stop.

My hostility toward Fujimiya, my obsession with Rin, my posts in the group chat.

If I stopped, what would be left of me?

Nothing, it seems.

And that scares me the most.