Chapter 3: Clumsy

Reading Settings

Translator: Soafp

---

The second volunteer day had come.

It was a Saturday in June, in front of the same community center as last week.

The difference was my state of mind.

Last week, all I could think was, “I want to go home as soon as possible.”

But today— I woke up at five in the morning.

Five o'clock.

Saturday morning, five o'clock.

If I told Kaito, he'd ask three times, “You?”

I tried to go back to sleep after waking up, but I couldn't.

Whenever I closed my eyes, Himuro Rin's profile flashed before me. Those straight-forward eyes. That calm voice. “You should do what you can properly.” That phrase had been looping in my head all week.

In the end, I arrived thirty minutes before the meeting time.

First to arrive.

…Yeah, something's definitely wrong with me.

Standing in front of the community center, where the staff were preparing, I idly scrolled through my phone as participants slowly started arriving.

Many of them were the same people as last week. The same lazy, relaxed atmosphere.

Mimura Sota was there too. Our eyes met briefly, then he quickly looked away.

…Weird vibe. Especially since we shouldn't really have any connection.

And then—she arrived.

Himuro Rin.

Her black hair tied back just like last week, a simple white T-shirt and jeans. Even though her outfit was plain, her posture was straight and she caught my attention.

When she reached the front of the community center, she gave a small nod to the staff.

Did she do that last week too? She's so diligent.

I took a deep breath and walked over.

“Good morning, Himuro-san.”

She looked at me.

“…Good morning.”

She responded.

Briefly, but she responded. Compared to last week's “Do as you like,” that's progress. Probably.

“Looks like it's going to be hot again today.”

“Yeah.”

Second sentence. The conversation continued. Things were going smoothly—

“Then—”

—Just then, she put on her work gloves and walked toward the work area.

Total interaction time: about eight seconds.

Yeah. I knew that would happen.

---

Work began.

It was the same cleaning volunteer as last week, but today our area was around the promenade behind the community center.

Lots of trees, fallen leaves and trash scattered around.

Last week, I would have just gone through the motions.

But today was different.

No—let's be honest. At first, I had a selfish thought: “If I work near Himuro-san, I can naturally talk to her.”

But ten minutes after starting, that thought disappeared.

Because Himuro Rin was working quietly, exactly as she had last week.

Not to show anyone. Not to get praise.

She was simply doing what she believed she should do.

Watching her back like that—approaching her with selfish motives felt ridiculously lame.

So I just worked quietly, too.

Picking up trash. Sorting it. Replacing bags when full.

Scooping leaves clogged in the gutter. Wiping my hands dirty with mud, then picking up more.

I wasn't matching her pace.

…Well, maybe I was at first. But somewhere along the way, something changed.

Just picking up the trash in front of me—it felt surprisingly satisfying when I did it properly.

The place that had been dirty just a moment ago became clean by my own hands.

It was simple, but—pleasant.

I felt like I understood a little of what she had meant.

Do what you can properly.

That's all.

But it's the hardest thing.

About an hour passed.

“…Fujimiya.”

I looked up when she called my name.

Himuro Rin was standing a little away, watching me.

“See the gutter over there? There are some bottles stuck in it. I can't reach them.”

“Oh, you're right. Wait a second.”

I reached in and pulled them out. Two mud-covered bottles. I also removed some branches stuck inside.

“Here you go.”

“…Thanks.”

It was a small voice.

But she really said, “thank you”—to me.

I was just doing what she asked.

A polite “thank you” that anyone would say. I knew that.

But—my heart wouldn't stop racing.

This was probably the first time Himuro Rin had thanked me personally.

“You're welcome.”

I tried to sound calm, but I think my voice rose a little.

I hoped she didn't notice.

---

After the morning session, we took a break.

Same vending machine spot as last week.

The others grouped together talking. Mimura Sota was with them. I thought he kept glancing our way, but I ignored it.

I bought a canned coffee and thought about going near her—but stopped myself.

I didn't want to misjudge the distance.

If I came on too strong, she'd pull back. I knew that from experience.

…Well, the problem is, my past experience doesn't really apply here.

I sat on a bench a little away and opened my coffee.

Then—something unexpected happened.

Himuro Rin came closer herself.

Well, “came closer” isn't exactly dramatic.

She just sat at the far end of the bench opposite me.

There were two-person spaces between us.

It might have been a coincidence. Maybe it was just the shade.

But—she hadn't sat there last week.

“…You worked properly today.”

She spoke without looking at me.

“Eh?”

“The cleaning. Totally different from last week.”

She had been watching me.

“Ah… well, I was slacking a bit last week.”

“Last week wasn't just ‘a bit,' though.”

“…Sorry.”

The polite form came out again. Automatically, in front of her.

“I'm not blaming you. It's true you did it properly today.”

“….”

“But—”

She opened a bottle cap and glanced at me.

“If you're doing this to make me think well of you, you should stop.”

My heart jumped.

She saw right through me.

“That doesn't last.”

“….”

I had to answer honestly.

With her—lies wouldn't work.

“…At first, maybe.”

“….”

“I'll be honest. At first, I thought if I worked near you, I might get a chance to talk.”

Her expression didn't change.

“But partway through, it changed. Watching you work quietly, I realized approaching you with selfish motives was really lame.”

“….”

“So after that, I just worked normally. And—actually, it felt pretty good. Seeing the space in front of me become clean by my own hands—it wasn't bad at all.”

Silence fell.

A long silence.

Crap.

Did I say too much?

Using the word “selfish motives”—did I scare her off—

“…Weird person.”

That word again.

She said it last week too.

But—this time, just slightly.

Just a little, her tone felt softer.

Maybe it's my imagination.

Probably just my imagination.

But I wanted to bet on that “probably imagination.”

“I'll come again next week.”

“…Isn't this the third and final volunteer? Punishment one?”

She knew.

“Yeah, it's the last one, but I'll come voluntarily. I asked the staff earlier, and they said I'm always welcome.”

“….”

“Do you come every week?”

“…About two or three times a month.”

“Then we'll meet again.”

She looked at me.

Her eyes seemed like she wanted to say something. But she said nothing.

Instead, she let out a small sigh.

“…Do as you like.”

The same words as last week.

But to me, this time, they sounded a little different.

---

Afternoon work.

Himuro Rin continued working quietly as ever.

I also—worked quietly.

I wanted to talk, but right now, this was fine.

Showing with actions, not words. Somehow, I understood that this is what reaches her the most.

Something funny happened along the way.

A hornet was trapped inside an old bulletin board along the promenade.

Other members panicked, “A hornet!” and didn't approach.

I quietly opened the board's door to let it out. A bumblebee. Big, but calm. Almost no risk of being stung.

“It's fine, this one—”

I turned to explain, but Himuro Rin was right behind me.

“Bumblebee. Calm, rarely stings.”

She said what I was about to say first.

“…You knew that?”

“Famous, right?”

“No, surprisingly many people don't know. Just now, everyone around ran away.”

“Well—looks scary, after all.”

The bumblebee buzzed off toward the trees.

We watched it together—and it was somehow funny.

“…Why are you laughing?”

“Just… sending off a bee together is kind of funny.”

“…Weird sense of humor.”

But—

I noticed her mouth relax, just the tiniest bit.

Not a laugh, but the first crack in her ironclad expression.

---

The volunteer ended.

We gathered in front of the community center. I told the staff, “See you next week.”

Himuro Rin was getting ready to leave first.

Today—I didn't call out to her.

I couldn't really explain why.

I just liked the distance we kept today.

I didn't want to push it.

I watched her leave the community center from a little distance.

Then—

Himuro Rin glanced back once.

Our eyes met—I think. Probably.

She immediately looked forward and walked on, so I can't be certain.

Maybe I imagined it.

But.

If it wasn't a mistake.

Then I'm still within her sight.

“….”

I put my empty coffee can in the recycling bin properly.

Last week, I probably would have left it on the ground.

People really do change.

Just by meeting one girl, this much.

On the way home, I sent Kaito a LINE message.

‘Volunteer's done. Small progress. Probably.'

It was read immediately, and a reply came.

‘Probably? lol What progress?'

‘We sent off a bee together.'

‘Huh?'

‘Long story. I'll tell you next time.'

‘I don't get it, but I guess it's good if you're happy.'

…This guy is sharp.

Just from text, he can tell I'm happy—what is that?

I put my phone in my pocket and looked up at the sky.

June evening sky. Clouds slightly dyed orange.

Next week, I'll come again.

And the week after.

No rush. No panic.

But—I will never back down.