Chapter 7: The Shadow of a PI@yb0y

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Translator: Soafp

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Before I knew it, I was thinking about Fujimiya Ito more and more.

During class, when I was staring blankly out the window.

When I was picking bread at the school store.

On the way home, listening to music through my earphones.

At random moments, his voice would come back to me.

The smile he had when he said, “See you next week.” The excited look in his eyes when we got into the cat conversation.

His happy expression when I went on too much about the novel.

—Stop it.

I shook my head and returned my eyes to the textbook.

Third period on Tuesday. Classical literature class.

I need to focus. The test is coming up.

But—words on the page wouldn't stick in my head.

This is bad.

I know it. I know it, and yet I can't stop.

Himuro Rin hates this version of herself the most.

Being swayed by feelings she can't control with reason—that scares her more than anything.

---

Lunchtime.

I was eating in the classroom with Yui when I overheard a conversation from the group next to us.

“Hey, did you hear? Fujimiya was apparently dating someone from Class 3 until last month.”

“Eh, really? Did they break up already?”

“Ended after about a month. And the one before that was about two months.”

“Isn't that short?”

“But it's Fujimiya, so it's not surprising, right? He's always like that.”

“Yeah. Dates just for fun, then moves on when bored.”

“Wow… but he's good-looking, so people forgive him.”

“Totally.”

—My chopsticks stopped.

I knew.

I had known from the start that Ito Fujimiya was a pI@yb0y.

I'd heard the rumors about his many relationships and how short they lasted.

But—hearing it concretely like this stirred something deep in my chest.

One month. Two months.

Relationships ending in that short a time.

Fun while it lasts. Move on when bored.

—What if that's what will happen to me too?

Right now, he's interested in me.

Because I'm unusual. Strong-willed, unfriendly, not easily swayed.

Maybe it just looks like “worth the effort to pursue.”

Once I break down his wall and get him—then it ends.

Like all the others.

“…Rin? You okay?”

Yui's voice brought me back to myself.

“I'm fine.”

“You look pale. Did you hear that?”

“………”

“Fujimiya, right? Don't worry about it. Rumors are just—”

“I'm not worried.”

A lie.

I am worried.

If I weren't, my chopsticks wouldn't have stopped.

“Rin.”

“What?”

“Rumors are just rumors. The Fujimiya you've seen and the one in the rumors might be different, right?”

“…But rumors have some truth. The number of people he's dated, the breakups—they're facts, right?”

“That's true, but—”

“Yui. I judge based on what I see, not on facts alone.”

Yui fell silent.

I might have hurt her a little. But—right now, I wanted to stay calm.

It's true that I was starting to open my heart to Fujimiya Ito.

But maybe that's only because I had seen one side of him.

A person experienced in dating can pretend to be clumsy.

Make it seem serious, but get bored once they have what they want.

That—might be his pattern.

At least, right now, I have no evidence to say it's not.

---

After fifth period, during the break.

Walking down the hallway, I heard a voice from behind.

“Rin.”

It was Sota.

“I heard Fujimiya is coming to volunteer again. On his own.”

“…So what?”

“Come on, his motive is obvious. He's after you, right?”

“……”

“I looked into it a bit. He dated three girls last year and broke up with all of them quickly. And even after becoming a second-year—”

“Sota.”

I stopped walking. He stopped too.

“What?”

“Why are you looking so much into Fujimiya?”

“Eh… I'm worried about you—”

“I said I make my own judgments, remember?”

“Yeah, but still. Telling the facts is fine, right? That he's a pI@yb0y—”

“Whether he's a pI@yb0y or not is for me to decide.”

Sota's face stiffened.

“…Why are you so mad?”

“I'm not mad. It's just—”

I stopped mid-sentence.

The truth is, every time Sota says bad things about Fujimiya, something in me cools down.

Even when he says he's worried, it sounds like he's doing it for himself.

But—I can't say that now.

Ten years of friendship. I don't want to ruin it over this.

“…Nothing. Back to class.”

I turned and started walking.

Sota started to say something, but I didn't listen.

---

After school.

I was alone in the library.

I had intended to study, but I couldn't focus at all.

Two versions of Fujimiya Ito were fighting in my head.

One—the Fujimiya I saw at the volunteer.

Honest about having ulterior motives, looking me straight in the eyes, carefully choosing his words, awkward but sincere.

Laughing about cats, wanting to hear my thoughts on a novel, looking happy when he said, “See you next week.”

The other—the Fujimiya from the rumors.

A playboy moving from girl to girl. Ending relationships after one or two months.

Kind to anyone, showing the same face to everyone. Someone who could exist without me.

Which one is the real Fujimiya Ito?

…No, probably both.

People don't only have one face.

The problem is—whether the face he shows me is the real one.

There's only one way to find out.

Take time, and keep watching.

But—keeping watch means being close.

Being close means I might like him even more.

And if I like him more and then get betrayed—

I'm scared.

Himuro Rin is seen as strong, confident, and unshakable by others.

She knows that too.

But love is different.

In love, she can't trust herself to stay in control.

That's why she has to be careful.

That's why—she should keep her distance.

When I left the library, the hallway was bathed in the orange light of late afternoon.

Heading down the stairs toward the entrance, I passed by the bulletin board.

There was a volunteer poster posted since last month. No new information.

But—a handwritten note had been added next to it.

“To everyone attending the next volunteer session: We will be replanting flowers in the park flowerbeds. Please come in clothes you don't mind getting dirty. —Volunteer Staff”

Replanting the flowerbeds.

…I had always been watering those flowers.

Something I started on my own. Not my responsibility.

But I hated seeing them die, so every time I came to volunteer, I watered them.

And—Fujimiya Ito knows that.

During the first volunteer session, he saw me watering the flowers.

Next Saturday, he'll probably come.

We might end up replanting the flowerbeds together.

Even though I just decided to keep my distance.

—And yet, deep in my chest, it felt a little warm.

The worst.

“…The worst.”

I muttered it aloud. Fortunately, no one was around.

I gripped my bag tighter and walked out of the entrance.

The June evening breeze carried the humid air.

Keep my distance.

Stay calm.

Don't be swayed by rumors. Judge with my own eyes.

That's what I decided—supposedly.

On the way home, I found myself stopping at a bookstore.

In front of the shelf with the novel Fujimiya said he'd read, I lingered for a while.

If he reads this book and comes to tell me his thoughts—

What face should I make?

Should I treat him coldly?

Or—admit that I'd actually be happy?

No answer came, and I left the bookstore.

I didn't buy anything.

But—half relief, half regret, mixed together.