Chapter 32: You and I can’t love each other
Translator: Soafp
I heard Ginro-san’s voice for the first time in about a month.
Throughout this month, there wasn’t a day when I didn’t wonder what words would start our conversation again.
Each one of those thoughts was a hopeful prediction for a happy future.
Yet none of them came true.
“Liar” Ginro-san shouted, her soft and beautiful voice breaking.
“…Li-ar…”
“…! Ginro-san!”
Ginrou-san, dizzy from shouting, stumbled and collapsed to the floor.
“Are you okay!?”
I hurried over and supported Ginrou-san’s limp body.
“Don’t… touch me…”
“Eh?”
…Don’t touch?
The echo of those words lingered in my mind endlessly.
…Why? How come? Don’t touch?
Even though I’ve never been told anything like this before… confusion and despair enveloped my mind.
Since we started dating, no, since the day we first met, Ginro-san has never rejected me.
Ah… Something must have happened to Ginro-san. There’s no doubt about it. I have to make sure!
I put my hand on Ginro-san’s shoulder and brought my face close to hers, our foreheads touching.
Our hair intertwined.
If we look into each other’s eyes and talk, Ginro-san should calm down.
“What’s wrong, Ginro-san?”
“Stop it!!”
“Hey!”
Ginrou-san pushed me away and stood up, trembling.
“G-Ginro…san?”
A throbbing pain spreads in the part of her chest where Ginro-san’s hand was pressed.
“Liar… you said you’d stay with me… I believed you…”
“Eh?”
“Where… were you?”
“I was… at Mana’s to pay her a visit.”
I answer Ginro-san’s question.
“…”
“It’s true! It’s not a lie!”
“Just… paying her a visit?”
“…Huh?”
“You usually come back within about two hours.”
“Ah, yeah…”
“But today, you came back later than usual.”
“…”
…Undoubtedly, Ginro-san suspects me.
Whenever I went to see Mana, I’d be back home within two hours. But today was different.
Suddenly, the events at the hospital today come back to my mind.
I vented to Mana, she hugged me… and then, despite my resistance, I kissed her.
The flow of time is constant, unchanging.
Even something as universally understood as that slipped my mind, as I unwaveringly believed in the “flow of time” within myself, flowing calmly and densely.
The second hand on the clock I glanced at pointed to 8 PM.
Five hours…
There’s no point blaming myself any further, but I can’t help but blame my own foolishness.
What am I doing…
Of course, it’s no wonder I’m being suspected. No, it’s only natural to be suspected.
“…”
I can’t bring myself to deny it.
Because the truth is, I did cheat.
How in the world… how can I convey my feelings to Ginro-san? Even as I try to think it over in my mind, I can’t come up with an answer.
“Hey, Yuran. Why do you come home smelling so much like a woman?”
“Huh?”
“Don’t embrace me with such a body.”
“Ginro-san.”
Smell? That’s…
Maybe because she has been clinging onto me? No, scents don’t transfer that easily.
Surely Ginro-san is sensing it, the lingering scent of Mana on my body.
“…Ginro-san… I’m sorry… but this scent belongs to Mana! Please believe me.”
“But Mana-chan is also a girl, right?”
“…”
“Mana-chan is more important to you than I am.”
Like a leaf fluttering in the wind, uncertain of where it will land, Ginro-san’s body sways, surrendering to the air that envelops her, trembling with instability.
Perhaps Ginro-san’s emotional shell was shattered a month ago.
That’s why the true feelings she had kept locked away are now overflowing outward.
Surely, Ginro-san has always been thinking.
That Mana… perhaps she is loved more by me.
“No, that’s not true.”
There’s a part of me that wants to irresponsibly say that.
But I have no right to say it.
After all, I just accepted Mana.
“I can’t answer you.”
“…”
“No, it’s okay. I knew.”
With those words, Ginro-san’s eyes remained unchanged, still clouded in their color. Truly, she expected nothing.
When one is disappointed, sad, or happy, the size, color, and brightness of their eyes change.
I’ve witnessed Ginro-san’s eyes changing many times.
But now, her eyes remain stagnant, dyed in a dull color.
She doesn’t expect anything from me anymore.
“I… I killed someone.”
“…Eh?”
“I killed Yuran’s older sister.”
“What are you saying?”
“The woman who killed your sister is naturally abandoned.”
Ginro-san says it in a detached manner.
Considering the confusion surrounding her, there’s a high chance that truth and fiction are intermingling.
Ginro-san believes that she killed my sister and that she’s been abandoned because of it.
“No, my sister isn’t dead, she’s alive.”
“…”
“I wouldn’t abandon you. Ginro-san might not remember, but… for this whole month…”
“You took care of me every day.”
“…Eh?”
With that, Ginro-san slumps down again, sitting on the floor.
“I… I was conscious all along. Of course, I could move my body of my own accord.”
“Eh?”
“But because I pretended to be a vegetable, Yuran took care of me.”
Ginro-san? What are you saying?
“Every day, you fed me, helped me bathe, washed my body, took care of me in the bathroom, kissed me on the cheek when I slept, and slept next to me.”
Tears welled up in Ginro-san’s eyes, tainted with a deep purple color.
Despite the tears overflowing from her eyes, she doesn’t seem to notice, her mouth moving like a broken machine.
“I was happy. Every day felt like heaven.”
“Ginro… san?”
What are you saying, Ginro-san?
The way she’s saying it, as if she had consciousness and could move, but let me take care of her…
“Yuran, I was always anxious.”
“Eh?”
“You wouldn’t kiss me, or even have s*x with me. But other girls around you started to like you, and I was being left behind.”
Hahaha… What are you saying, Ginro-san?
My brain can’t comprehend what’s happening now, let alone understand what Ginro-san is saying.
“But if I abandon my humanity, Yuran will do things for me that you never did before.”
“Eh?”
“But to Yuran, I’m a murderer. Once I can move on my own, you won’t waste her life on me. That’s why…”
“Ginro-san?”
“For this past month, I’ve been pretending to be a ‘vegetable’.”
“…Huh?…”
Pretending to be a vegetable?
Was that… acting?
Then, that means…
What was the meaning of that whole month?
The vomit I threw up, the trembling body…
No meaning at all…
Snap!
With a loud crash, I dash towards Ginro-san and knock her down.
“Gah!”
I hear Ginro-san’s weak groan as her back hits the ground.
But I don’t care about that, I don’t have the composure for it now.
“Don’t mess with me! Don’t mess with me! Don’t mess with me!!”
I shout at the top of my lungs, not caring about the saliva flying onto Ginro-san beneath me.
But even though I’m being knocked down, spat on, and shouted at…
“Why do you look so happy?”
“B-because… it’s the first time…”
Unexpected words come out from Ginro-san’s mouth.
Words like those of my sister…
“…”
Upon hearing those words, I come back to my senses and move away from Ginro-san.
“…Sorry…”
“N-no, I was happy.”
With that, Ginro-san gets up again.
I look up at her. Her limbs aren’t trembling like before; she’s standing steadily on her own.
Was that also acting? No, that can’t be it.
Ginro-san was truly anxious until just now.
Was I being swayed by Mana…? So she stopped acting and approached me.
But then I vented my inexplicable anger on her, and even knocked her down…
In response to that…
“I did it because you love me the most.”
…she changed her mind.
What she did was the same as my sister.
I had previously seen Ginro-san and my sister as alike… It was a kind of warning.
And now that warning has become reality.
Ginro-san… has become Maya Kimisaki.
“Haah… haah…”
Suddenly, my heart starts pounding violently.
My vision blurs.
My consciousness begins to fade.
“Y-… Yuran?”
I’m breaking down.
“GGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”
Why? Why? Why!?
“Yuran!!”
Why—
“Suzune.”
“Eh? Yeah.”
No, this was our fate from the start.
We were in a twisted relationship from the beginning.
And we both committed unforgivable sins.
So this relationship… needs to end.
“No more…”
“Eh?”
Ignoring Ginro-san’s hand, which weakly and coldly grasped mine, as if supporting someone else, I continue.
“You and I… can’t love each other.”
I once wished to see the cherry blossoms together with her.
But that wish will never come true.
Our love ended along with the news of cherry blossoms in full bloom.
John_Foe111
April 14, 2024 at 3:01 amtitle said, roll credits
Dylan Saldaña
April 21, 2024 at 8:35 amwow