Chapter 34: Packed with things boys love

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Translator: Soafp

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Inside the large chamber, which contained the door leading to the deepest part of the dungeon.

There, a pure-white robot—easily three meters tall—stood completely still, waiting for us without moving a muscle.

While peeking into the chamber from the corridor, we discussed our opinions.

“I, the great me, have come up with a plan!!”

“…I'll listen just in case. What kind of plan?”

“Prepare to be shocked, shorty!! First, I go forward!! Then I destroy that golem myself!! That's it!!”

“That's not a plan.”

Belchika frowned at being called “shorty” and glared at the Sword Saint.

The tension in the air was awful. Ugh, I hate this.

“Gamlan-sama, have you already fought that golem?”

The one who asked the Sword Saint that was Christina, who had woken up.

She kept glancing at me, but she wasn't losing control like before.

According to her: “I don't want my time with No-Face-sama to be reduced by getting my neck chopped again!!”

…Thank goodness she still has her sanity.

“Yeah!! I tried like five times and lost every single one!!”

“So weak. And you call yourself a Sword Saint?”

“Belchika-sama. I heard from Maidol what happened between you and Gamlan-sama, but please restrain yourself for now.”

“…Fine.”

Belchika puffed her cheeks after being scolded by Christina.

“Gamlan-sama, what kind of attacks does that golem use?”

“No idea!!”

“…You don't know?”

“I swear I kept a fair distance, but next thing I knew, I had holes all over my body!! I thought I was dead!!”

When I treated the wounds Belchika gave him earlier, I'm pretty sure he didn't have injuries like that…

What's going on?

“Even if the details are unknown, it definitely has some kind of mid-range attack. I'll deploy defensive magic, so Gamlan-sama and Belchika-sama, please approach the golem and attack.”

“…Wouldn't it be faster if Princess Christina just blasted everything away with magic?”

“I'm no good unless it's anti-army magic…”

Christina answered Belchika apologetically.

Anti-army magic is extremely wide-range and extremely powerful.

Using that in a dungeon would probably kill everyone here, so we decided Christina would focus on defensive magic instead.

“In that case, understood, Princess Christina.”

“Kuahahahaha!! Leave it to me!! I'll smash it to pieces!!”

“…Princess Christina, what should I do?”

“No-Face-sama, stay by my side. And if possible, please hold my hand and pat my head. Or even do something ecchi like ‘beep (censored)'—”

“Understood. For now, I'll support the two front-liners.”

“Mm♡ Hah… hah… even being treated roughly by No-Face-sama is… kind of exciting…♡”

Is this princess invincible or what?

“Princess Christina, what should I do?”

“Maidol, it's dangerous, so stay next to me.”

“As you wish. Should I hold your hand and pat your head while doing something ecchi like ‘beep (censored)'?”

“N-no, that part's fine.”

And so, our strategy for defeating the golem was settled.

The Sword Saint rushed forward, holding swords in both hands.

Belchika followed slightly behind, and they faced the pure-white golem.

“Kuahahahaha!! I'm back again!!”

[Beyond this point lies my king's treasury. No one—no matter how many times they come—shall pass.
—Primary Armament, Technique Activation: <Metal Bullet>]

The robot's shoulders shifted with a ka-shunk sound, and a pair of black tubes emerged.

Oh, you've got to be kidding me.

Well, okay, I did kind of expect something like this from the design…

But still, in a fantasy world with magic, that weapon looks incredibly out of place.

Come on, at least pretend to respect the world aesthetic.

“Princess Christina, you may want to layer more defensive magic.”

“Eh—ah, yes!!”

Christina activated her defensive magic, layering multiple translucent honeycomb barriers.

Then the tubes on the robot's shoulders spewed fire with a loud DADADADADADADA!!

A machine gun. Absolutely a machine gun.

Well… since there was a magic circle forming at the muzzle before firing, I guess it barely fits the world setting?

“Even my defensive magic—which can block anti-army spells—is cracking!? What is with this firepower!?”

Christina began sweating.

But then Belchika and the Sword Saint slipped out from the sides of the barrier and flanked the robot from left and right.

Their movements were swift.

The Sword Saint leapt and swung his sword down from above, while Belchika aimed an upward strike with her sheathed blade—

[Secondary Armament, Technique Activation: <Razor Edge>]

Blades of light extended from the robot's arms and blocked both their swords.

Wow. That actually looks really cool.

[Tertiary Armament, Technique Activation: <Blaster Cannon>]

The robot's chest opened with a ka-shunk, revealing a tube about thirty centimeters wide.

Yeah, that's definitely a cannon.

The charge took only a moment, and an enormous blast of magic was fired directly at the Sword Saint.

“Gahh!!”

The shot hit the Sword Saint dead-on.

The tremendous beam of heat blew a huge hole in his side, sending him flying into the wall.

The impact caused the wall to collapse, burying him.

This is bad. That was a fatal blow. I need to heal him immediately.

But just as I tried to run toward him, the robot must have realized from my actions that I was a healer, because it turned its machine gun toward me.

“Can't get close.”

“Kuahaha!! Looks like fun, No-Face!! Let me join in!!”

“…Huh?”

The Sword Saint burst out of the rubble and charged at the robot that had been firing at me.

Wait. Wasn't that a fatal wound?

“That is the terrifying thing about Gamlan-sama.”

“…Princess Christina, what do you mean?”

“Gamlan-sama isn't especially sturdy, nor is he particularly strong, just stupid. He's just absurdly fast at healing. And the more severe the damage, the faster he recovers… it's a strange trait.”

“Princess Christina, a princess shouldn't call people stupid, you know.”

…So even if part of his body gets blown off, he regenerates instantly… that's insane.

“With overwhelming recovery and endurance, and also the fact that the more damage he takes—”

“Kuahaha!! Now it's getting fun!! Entertain me more!!”

The Sword Saint clashed with the robot head-on.

At first, it looked like the robot had the upper hand, but gradually the Sword Saint began pushing it back.

His movements were sharper—honestly, with that momentum, he could probably cut off my head too.

Christina gave an awkward smile.

“When he gets excited like that, his physical abilities increase.”

I see.

Now that she mentions it, the Sword Saint is kind of similar to me.

I also tend to brute-force things with healing magic, and get fired up when healing people.

“But still, that golem is strong. Even in that state, Gamlan-sama can't finish it…”

“…It's kind of frustrating, so I'll use my trump card.”

“Belchika-sama? What are you—”

“—First Seal Release. Ein–Laevateinn!!”

Belchika raised her sword, and cracks formed along the scabbard.

Golden light spilled through the cracks and wrapped around her body.

O-oh… that's cool.

“Eat this and die, Sword Saint!!”

“Whoa!?”

Belchika swung her sword down, sending a blade of light forward—aimed at both the Sword Saint and the robot.

Yeah, she was totally aiming for the Sword Saint.

She probably got annoyed that he started overwhelming the robot.

The Sword Saint narrowly evaded the flying blade, and the robot—unable to anticipate that she'd attack her ally too—took the hit directly.

Half its body vanished, and arcs of purple electricity crackled across its frame.

[Damage level exceeding 80%. For the sake of information security, this unit will now commence self-destr… uct…]

Whoa, it's going to self-destruct?

With SF-style weapons AND a self-destruct system, this robot is packed with every cool feature boys love.

But just then, the robot suddenly stopped moving and stared right at me.

Huh? Why is it looking at me?

[—K-King. Black King. Great King. Why… why are you…]

“Eh?”

…Is it mistaking me for someone else?