Chapter 32: The only way to stop the runaway princess is to stab her in the head

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Translator: Soafp

We back baby

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It kept falling, and falling, and falling.

“This bungee jump without a rope is scarier than I thought.”

“Is this really the time to say that!? This hole is insanely deep!!”

“Yeah.”

It was true — the hole we were falling through was so deep that we couldn't even see the bottom. Rather than simple ground subsidence, it felt more like there had already been a huge cavity under the plaza, and the ceiling collapsed.

Well, thinking about that can wait. If we don't land somehow, we'll be flattened.

“Hmph!!”

Right before crashing into the bottom, I punched forward and canceled out the impact. My arm got all busted up from the recoil, but if I heal it right away, it's basically no damage.

As for Belchika—oh, she landed normally.

I guess with her physical abilities, falling from this height isn't a big deal.

“Whew, we managed to land safely somehow. W-wow… the sky looks so far away…”

“What should we do? Climb up the wall to get back?”

“That seems fastest. Ah, let's have a ceasefire until we get to the surface.”

“I already planned on that.”

The moment Belchika and I called a temporary truce—

“If possible, could you consider another method?”

“Eh?”

“Mm.”

The voice came from the maid who had been with Christina.

Her name was… Maidol, I think.

“It is an honor to meet you, No-Face-sama. And Belchika-sama as well. I serve Christina-sama as her maid, my name is Maidol.”

“…Nice to meet you, Maidoll-san. You already seem to know me, but I'm Belchika. Pleased to meet you.”

“A pleasure. I am No-Face.”

Since it's our first time meeting as No-Face, proper greetings are important.

“You were caught in the collapse too? Are you injured?”

“Yes, it seems I was fortunate.”

“There's no way someone could fall from that height unharmed. Don't be shy.”

“I am perfectly fine.”

“Come now, no need to act modestly.”

“I. Am. Fine.”

Looks like she's fine.

Was she really lucky? Or is she actually as strong as Belchika…?

…No, that's gotta be impossible.

“You said you wanted us to consider another method. Why?”

“The truth is, we have Christina-sama here, who fainted midway through the fall.”

She lifted up Christina — who was passed out with her eyes rolled back in a very un-princess-like pose.

Wow, that's a face a princess should never show.

No visible injuries, but if anything happened to the royal princess, it would be a disaster.

Let's heal her thoroughly.

“Nn… where am I…?”

“It seems you've awakened, Princess Christina.”

“No-Face… sama?”

The moment she woke up, Christina suddenly clung tightly to me. Her large, soft chest pressed onto me and changed shape with a squish.

“I finally caught you, No-Face!! You won't escape anymore!! Now, marry me quietly!! Let's ‘beep (censored)' all night long and ‘beep(censored)' as much as we want!!”

“Princess Christina, please calm down.”

“When should we have the wedding!? For the first night, let's ‘beep(censored)' until morning, and I want about ten children!!”

“Princess, calm—”

“I've actually already thought of names for all the children!! The first one is—”

Neck Chop

“Fgh.”

Christina was staring at me with eyes clearly not full of sanity, so I accidentally knocked her out with a chop.

If you want to stop a rampaging princess, a neck chop is best.

Still, between the No-Face capture operation and this, she's been serious lately.

If she really traps me one day, what should I do……Maybe I should just dump her on Nee-san?

Just then—

A terrifying bloodlust came from Maidol's direction, and I reflexively raised my fist as I turned.

“Ara, No-Face-sama. If you stare at me so intensely, I'll get embarrassed.”

“…My apologies.”

Must've been my imagination.

“But carrying Princess Christina while climbing that wall will be difficult.”

“Should we take turns carrying her?”

“If we accidentally drop her, we're dead.”

“…Also true.”

We could return to the surface first and then drop a really long rope down—

—but I immediately rejected that idea.

“You wouldn't dare suggest abandoning the first princess of the Kishirika Kingdom at the bottom of this pit… would you?”

“…Of course not.”

“O-of course not.”

Even though her eyes are covered with black cloth, I can feel her glaring. Too scary. Abandoning Christina is not an option.

“What should we do…”

“In that case, I have a suggestion.”

“A suggestion?”

“Perhaps we could aim for the surface from over there.”

She pointed to a gigantic metal door.

What's that? Why is there something artificial underground?

While I tilted my head, Belchika's eyes sparkled.

“Is that a dungeon!?”

“…A dungeon?”

“An ancient ruin!! It's full of old magical tools and treasures!!”

“A dungeon under the capital?”

“It's not impossible!! Many ancient magical civilization ruins were found near the capital!! And underground dungeons always have a teleportation circle leading back to the surface!! We might be able to get out!! Ah, teleportation magic is a lost art nowadays since there are no successors to the spell—”

Belchika suddenly started machine-gunning explanations.

“Ah!! S-sorry, I got too excited and rambled.”

“No need to apologize. It was interesting.”

“I'm glad you think so!! Ah, then maybe I can explain more—”

“I'll pass.”

But thanks to Belchika, we now know there might be a teleportation circle deeper inside.

If that's true, we can get Christina out safely without dropping her.

Then dungeon exploration it is.

“Excited, so excited—”

“…You look happy.”

“Yes!! I'm very happy, No-Face!! This dungeon is probably undiscovered!! Being the first to explore an undiscovered dungeon—It feels just like the First Hero!!”

Belchika, Maidol carrying Christina, and I pushed open the giant door and walked down a long corridor.

It was dim, but the clean, metallic white walls gave off a strange, sci-fi vibe.

“…It's dark. And somehow this feels… SF (Si-fi).”

“SUFE?”

“Just talking to myself.”

“I see. Hmm? Is that the remains of a dungeon guardian golem?”

Belchika stopped.

Ahead of us lay a robot shredded by sharp blades.

…Seems like it was destroyed recently?

Belchika ran over to examine it more closely—at that moment—

Clang!!

Sparks flew near my neck.

“Oh? That sensation, like slicing metal… No-Face!! We meet again!!”

“…Why are you here?”

Turning around, we saw the Sword Saint — the one who helped me hunt the street slasher recently.