Chapter 20: Melancholy.
Translated and Edited by: luccayn.
Common Honorifics:
-san: A polite suffix, but not excessively formal.
-kun: A common suffix among friends and younger people.
-chan: A common suffix among people you’re close with, mostly used for feminine nicknames and girls, since it’s cutesy and childlike.
-senpai: A common suffix and noun used to address or refer to one’s older or more senior colleagues in a school, workplace, dojo, or sports club.
After finishing the post-summer break academic proficiency test, amidst the heat and lethargy emanating from my classmates’ minds, I meticulously filled the exam paper for modern Japanese language with circles and check marks in red pen.
Despite spending the long vacation mostly working part-time jobs, the abundance of circles indicated not a test of creativity or application, but rather a comprehensive review of the material covered until summer break.
If one paid moderate attention during class, the similarities between the blackboard notes and the test questions would trigger the right answers. If I could solve them with this level of ease, I could at least feel relieved that I wouldn’t be left behind in the second semester classes.
…However.
While it might make sense for subjects with clear-cut answers, I wondered if there was any point in self-grading the modern Japanese test without knowing the teacher’s answers.
As the second hand of the clock ticked away, I grew weary of the apparent futility after just three ticks, so I quietly folded the exam paper in half and placed it on the desk before sinking deeply into my chair.
“Sigh.”
I yearned for a sweet cup of milk coffee. Just then, as I thought that, Yamakawa, standing next to my desk, adjusted his intellectual-looking glasses with his index finger and said, “Heh.”
“Shinji, looks like you’ve got a visitor. Seems they got caught up in some lovers’ quarrel and want your advice.”
“A girl?”
“Yeah, she’s from the class next door. Kinda flashy but pretty cute, y’know.”
I looked towards the hallway as instructed. Indeed, there stood a girl with an aura of looseness and popularity, the kind that might not sit well with some of her female peers.
“No can do. I’ve decided not to help girls. Shinji Takatsuki’s assistance is strictly for the guys.”
“And here we go again! Shinji, are you gay or something!?”
“Gay. Homo. I mean, Homo sapiens is the scientific name for the species to which modern humans belong. It refers to the only surviving species in the genus Homo, distinguishing ourselves from the archaic humans of eons past.”
“Don’t go all Wikipedia on me, man. Hilarious stuff, though.”
With that said, the cute girl from the neighboring class was sent back. Sorry, but with a girl that cute, there would surely be other guys willing to give her serious advice, not just me.
No need to worry. Although it’s a very slim possibility, it’s necessary to avoid repeating the same mistakes from last time.
“But man, it’s so hot.”
“Yeah, tell me about it.”
Even after summer break, as autumn approached, Japan was still unbearably hot. The lingering humid and unpleasant climate of late summer clung to everything, causing unhealthy sweat to pour out. For someone like me who easily feels the heat, it’s quite a struggle.
What’s more troublesome is having to meticulously hand wash the collar and armpits of my white uniform shirt before heading to the laundromat. When there’s an extra step before doing laundry, it feels like my routine is disrupted, making everything seem even more tedious.
Anyway, the hot season is also a troublesome time for a poor person living alone. Even the veteran refrigerator, which has been around since grandma’s time, has started making annoying noises lately, making it impossible to prepare meals in advance.
“But still, living alone must be nice.”
“There’s nothing in this world that’s more enviable than a mother’s cooking.”
“Sh*t. When you put it like that, I can’t argue back.”
Ignoring his retort, I returned a strained smile and looked out the window. The familiar sound of cicadas, as if pleading for something, caught my ear. Come to think of it, I didn’t hear them much last month when it was hotter.
“But seriously, why the change to guys only since summer break?”
“It’s meaningless, Yamakawa. High school boys just feel like revamping their lives for no reason.”
“Coming from someone who does meaningless things.”
“Pot, meet kettle. Anyway, man, why did you dye your hair over the break?” I directed the question to Hamabe, who had been silent in the circle all this while. He seemed startled, either caught off guard or not paying attention, and he pointed to his hair, skipping the repetition of the question.
“Uh, well… It’s, um, nothing special? I mean, there’s no real reason, you know?”
“See?”
“Heh, still as evasive as ever.”
That’s how he brushed it off, but as you know, there’s a definite reason behind me not helping girls anymore. Needless to say, it’s because of what happened before summer break and Saori’s confession. I can’t afford to create another victim like Tsukino ever again.
Upon reflection, devotion to the opposite sex seems like an approach that could lead to “proposals” happening easily. If I were to continue, I might lose sight of why I believe in being faithful in the first place.
That doesn’t mean I don’t want a girl to like me, though. Let’s get that straight.
There’s always the possibility of falling in love unexpectedly, and sometimes I even indulge in fantasies before falling asleep, imagining how enjoyable it would be if it happened. So, if such a situation were to arise, I wouldn’t lie about my feelings and push the girl away. In fact, I’d probably do my best to make her my girlfriend.
However, I believe it’s unfair for romance to stem from helping someone else. It feels like inserting oneself into pure feelings of love and hijacking the entire bundle of burgeoning affection. Just as feelings of dislike can turn into love, I feel like someone else’s affection can easily replace another’s.
That’s why, in order to avoid receiving such things, I stopped helping girls as much as possible as a defensive measure.
“But y’know, we know you’re hiding something. Still, If you ever feel like spilling, let us know.”
“…I guess you’re right. I’ll tell you when I get a little better, Yamakawa.”
“Got it.”
By the way, when did my role become that of the school’s counseling office, especially when visitors are coming from the neighboring class? I might seriously need to start looking for the suspect spreading rumors about me, like Suspect Y.
“Hamabe dyed his hair to attract girls, right?”
Suddenly, a girl cut into our conversation. If only she had given us a heads up, I could have prepared a witty response.
“Oh, Tsukino.”
“You’ve been working hard. Hamabe-kun, I think it looks cool. It suits you.”
“R-Really? Well, having Tsukino say that gives me confidence.”
“Aw, stop it…”
“It’s tough being an unpopular guy, sniff.”
Even after putting her through that, Tsukino had been unnecessarily paying attention to me since school started. Am I the only one who felt like I’d brushed her off perfectly? It’s almost like she didn’t even notice or care, making me wonder if it was all just a figment of my imagination.
…What’s she thinking now? Her smile doesn’t resemble a sunflower basking in the sun but rather exudes an enchanting charm like the melancholic moonflower gazing up at the night sky.
“Hehe.”
Tsukino had drastically cut her long, beautiful black hair to shoulder length at the start of the school year. Thanks to this makeover, her celestial beauty became even more strikingly evident.
There’s a sense of maturity about her now, like she’s a different person from before. It seems like there are more admirers from other classes peeking in on her now compared to before summer break.
But it annoys me. Seeing such a beautiful person like her…
“It’s annoying when you butt into the guys’ conversations, you know.”
“I didn’t mean to do that today, Shinji-kun. I came here for a reason.”
“What is it?”
“I need your help, Shinji-kun. I can’t do it without you.”
This fool…
“I’ve heard the rumors, Tsukino, but sorry. The thing is, Shinji here doesn’t help girls. You know his stubborn personality—”
“I understand. Talk,” I cut him short.
“Huh!?”
“Thank you. So, um, where should I start…”
“Don’t just yell it to the four winds. Let’s go somewhere else.”
“Oh, wait!”
And so, I led Tsukino to the mysterious space behind the school building where vending machines were lined up. The teachers who used to smoke there until summer break have probably moved to the newly designated smoking area by now.
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