Chapter 40: Forest School ③

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Translator: Soafp

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Yuzuki clenched her teeth and glared fiercely at Ito.

“APOLOGIZE!!”

Her hands trembling slightly, Ito took a step back.

As far as I knew, it was rare for Yuzuki to show this level of anger.

So it was no surprise that Ito was shaken.

“I-I was just doing it for your sake—”

“FOR MY SAKE!? YOU RUINED EVERYTHING I'VE BEEN TRYING SO HARD TO DO, AND YOU CALL THAT FOR MY SAKE!? YOU'RE JUST LIKE NODOKA!! YOU SAY IT'S FOR ME, BUT IT'S NOT HELPING ME AT ALL!!”

Tears welled up in both of their eyes.

The outdoor cooking area, which had fallen silent like water had been poured over it, slowly began to buzz again.

Everyone was whispering—of course, about Yuzuki and Ito.

Even the supervising teacher started walking over toward us.

“Kitayama, come over here for a moment, alright?”

I gently placed a hand on Yuzuki's shoulder and led her away from the scene.

As we left, I tilted my chin toward Ito to signal Nodoka.

Seemingly understanding, Nodoka gave a small nod, ran over to Ito, and asked softly, “Are you okay…?”

We sat down side by side on a bench at the campsite.

“…Sorry. I ruined the mood for everyone.”

“Well, you've always gotten emotional when it comes to me.”

“Heh… yeah, that's true.”

Back then, I was even more frail than I am now, and much more timid too.

Yuzuki had often stood up for me and sometimes even scolded me when I needed it.

“Ren, can I ask you a few things?”

“Yeah, as long as I can answer.”

Not wanting to think about Nagasawa-senpai, I kept my eyes forward, avoiding looking at her.

“I heard Sugawara-senpai has been coming to your house a lot lately…”

“Yeah.”

“…I see. What does she come over for?”

“She just helps me a bit with stock investing.”

“That's all?”

I nodded.

I didn't owe my ex an explanation—but this wasn't really about me.

If I hid things poorly and weird rumors spread about Sugawara-senpai, that would be a problem.

“So you're not actually dating her?”

“…If you don't believe me, I can't help that.”

Objectively speaking, someone coming over five nights a week and staying until morning definitely isn't normal.

But at the same time, ending things now would be irresponsible, since the situation with her father had mostly been resolved.

At my answer, Yuzuki's shoulders trembled.

“N-no! I believe you! I'll believe anything you say, Ren!”

“O-oh…”

She clung to my arm as if grasping for support.

“I'm sorry…”

“You don't really need to apologize.”

Maybe because I already saw her as a complete stranger now, I didn't feel much even when she doubted me.

If anything, that reaction made sense coming from an ex.

And from her perspective, I was the guy who “dumped her for an unreasonable reason,” just like Ito said.

“Then… do you have someone you like now…?”

“Not really. There's no one I see that way right now. I don't feel like dating anyone either.”

“I… see.”

The corners of her lips softened slightly.

She was probably trying to hide her happiness.

Having known her this long, I couldn't miss it.

“You know… yesterday, I took out that digital camera you gave me for my birthday.”

“Oh, the one from when we were in elementary school?”

“Yeah. You chose it because of what happened with my dad, right?”

“Yeah.”

“I get it now. You already knew my dad was going to leave, didn't you? Probably even why.”

“…”

She was right.

I had foreseen that her father would abandon his family.

But even now, I don't think I could have prevented that future.

“That kind, serious man cheating with a younger woman, then saying he wanted to become an explorer and going overseas… I couldn't believe it at first either.”

When I saw that “nightmare,” the affair had already begun.

There was no stopping the breakup.

In the dream, her father said he couldn't stand watching himself slowly wear down working at a major company.

I could understand that feeling—but I still couldn't forgive his decision.

“Eh…?”

Yuzuki's eyes widened, as if hearing it for the first time.

“You didn't know?”

“I didn't… So he abandoned his family for his dream…?”

“At least, that's what I know. I might be wrong, so you should ask your mom to be sure.”

I remembered her mother saying she'd explain things properly…

But it was probably hard to bring up, so it got delayed until now.

And Yuzuki had truly loved her father.

I'd been careless.

“Sorry. I shouldn't have said that.”

“No… I'm glad you told me. I might never have known otherwise.”

She lowered her head in silence.

Maybe I should comfort her—just as a person.

…Especially since it was my slip-up.

But before I could say anything, she spoke.

“I've always been told I'm just like my dad.”

“Yeah, personality-wise.”

Her looks are all her mom.

“I've been chasing dreams like him… and failing to see what really matters.”

Her voice trembled with tears.

I deliberately chose not to take her words too deeply.

She lifted her face and looked straight at me.

I still kept my eyes forward.

“Ren… I think I'm going to quit the photography club.”

That made me blink in surprise.

“Why all of a sudden?”

“I finally realized… it doesn't mean anything without you.”

“But you've built so much up until now, haven't you?”

She'd won plenty of awards.

“Lately, no matter how many photos I take, it's not fun anymore. I haven't even gone to club for weeks… I don't even know what I was working so hard for.”

“You were doing it for yourself. You're just confused right now. Time will sort it out.”

I spoke as if it had nothing to do with me.

Honestly, even if she quit, my feelings wouldn't come back.

And even if she left the club, I doubted that “nightmare” could still be avoided.

(And I don't want to believe it could be avoided now.)

Oh, we broke up, so she won't be stolen from me?

Give me a break.

I tried so hard to prevent that.

At this point, it might even be better if she just fell for Nagasawa-senpai.

“Ren… I still love you.”

“…I told you before. Give up on me.”

“That's not something I can just control. Ren… can't we at least go back to being childhood friends…?”

This is exactly why I didn't want to be alone with her…

Ito really made things worse.

“That would hurt even more. For sure.”

“No! Losing you completely hurts more…”

“Then imagine this: I get a new girlfriend. Could you honestly celebrate it, just as a childhood friend?”

“…I…”

She fell silent.

“In the end, you'd just end up miserable. There are plenty of guys better than me. Once you find someone new, you might even wonder why you ever liked me.”

“That's not true! Even if there are better, kinder guys, they're not you! No matter how great they are, I don't want them. I just want you—”

She gently placed her hand over mine.

At that moment, the “nightmare” flashed in my mind.

—Ren, I'm pregnant. It's your child.

“Ugh!”

A violent wave of nausea hit me.

I covered my mouth with my free hand as it trembled uncontrollably.

“R-Ren?”

“…Sorry.”

Not knowing what else to do, I stood up and rushed to the bathroom.

I spent a while there, throwing up everything in my stomach.

---

Somehow, dinner preparation finished.

I wanted to eat the curry Nodoka made.

But I had no appetite—I couldn't bring myself to take a bite.

“Hey… you okay?”

Inside the lodge room lined with bunk beds, Takagi—who had taken the lower bunk because of his fear of heights—asked me.

“Yeah… I'm still alive.”

“That doesn't sound okay at all…”

“This exposure training isn't easy.”

“Seriously, are you a dog or something?”

We joked lightly, trying to calm down.

Eventually, lights-out came, and I fell into a shallow sleep.

At that moment, I had no idea—

That here, in this lodge during the school trip…

I’d have a nightmare again.