Chapter 38: Forest School ①

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Translator: Soafp

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[Yuzuki Side]

In preparation for tomorrow's forest camp, Yuzuki Kitayama was packing her things.

She had never disliked going to unfamiliar places.

That's why this camp was supposed to be something she had been looking forward to.

Up until Ren broke up with her.

(How did things end up like this…?)

If she could, she wanted to turn back time.

But even if she did, could she really have changed this outcome?

As long as she stayed in the photography club to pursue her dream of becoming a photographer, no matter what she said or did, Ren's doubts would never have gone away.

Yuzuki felt that instinctively.

(My dream… or Ren…)

She had wanted both.

That should've been perfectly normal for a high school couple.

Just like any other couple facing entrance exams.

Ren himself had never denied that.

(Why do I have to choose just one…)

Yuzuki remembered Airi Sugawara's words.

— I hope your dream comes true. Though, I doubt Fukagawa-kun will be by your side.

Both her dream and Ren mattered to her.

Both had been things she cherished since childhood.

And yet now, she had to abandon one of them.

(If it was going to be like this… why did you support me…?)

Ren had always been at the top of his class since elementary school.

He could have gone to a higher-ranked high school.

But because their current school was famous for its photography club, he lowered his target and applied there—for her sake.

Along with the words: “I want you to absolutely achieve your dream as a photographer.”

(If only you'd just told me to give up on my dream from the start…!!)

If Ren had strongly insisted, “Rather than chasing your dream, stay by my side and support me,” maybe she would have done that.

If he had told her not to join the photography club and instead focus on becoming a good bride, maybe she would have listened.

If that had happened, then it would've been her—not Nodoka—offering him homemade lunches with a cheerful “say ahh.”

Her hands trembled as she broke down into sobs.

“I don't get it… I really don't get it…”

What was she supposed to do now?

What was the point of continuing in the photography club without Ren?

What was the most important thing?

Was her dream really the most important?

(Why did I even want to become a photographer in the first place…)

Yuzuki opened a box in the corner of her room.

Inside were the cameras and lenses she had used over the years.

Even SD cards filled with memories.

(…This brings back memories.)

She turned on each camera one by one.

Most of them still worked.

Various photos appeared on the small, old screens.

Beautiful landscapes. Cute yet dignified animals. Small flowers easily overlooked. Warm meals…

Among them, her hand stopped at photos of people.

(I barely took pictures of anyone besides Mom and Ren…)

After entering high school and joining the photography club, she had rarely used them as subjects.

She had been told that to grow as a photographer, it was essential to photograph people outside her close circle.

She picked up the next camera and checked its photos.

The further back she went, the more painfully obvious her lack of skill became.

White balance, focus, exposure, composition, lighting direction—everything was lacking.

But—

(I had something I truly wanted to capture back then.)

A photo of him celebrating after winning a prize in a crane game.

A photo of him feeling down after his favorite singer got caught in a scandal.

A photo of him nervously trying to deal with a hornet that flew into his room.

All of them had Ren as the subject.

Even if the technique was clumsy, each photo had a clear sense of purpose.

(I see… I lost sight of where I started.)

She had become too obsessed with technique—and with the title of “photographer.”

Even if they were shaky or rough, these photos conveyed emotion.

They were completely different from the technically improved but hollow photos she was taking now in the club.

(This camera…)

At the very bottom of the box, she found it.

Not even interchangeable lens. Small sensor. Grainy image quality.

The colors were unnatural.

By today's standards, even a smartphone camera would outperform it.

But—

(This was the camera Ren gave me.)

Her very first camera, given to her by him as a birthday present when they were in elementary school—bought with his saved allowance.

Why had he chosen a camera back then?

As she thought back carefully, her eyes suddenly widened.

(Back then… Dad left… and Ren said we should make new memories together…)

One day, her father suddenly left, abandoning her and her mother.

He had been a kind father, which only made it harder to understand.

All she could do was cry.

To comfort her, Ren gave her a camera on what should have been a gloomy birthday.

Because even if people disappear, photos remain forever.

(My dream… was something Ren gave me too.)

The first time she won a photography contest, it was with a photo taken using this very camera.

The theme was “people in everyday life.”

She had taken a picture of Ren—and it received high praise.

(I've received so much from Ren…)

And yet, she had dismissed his desperate cries as mere jealousy and overreaction.

She hadn't even noticed that he had been suffering for an entire month.

He had believed in her.

But she hadn't believed in him at all.

Tears fell from her cheeks, one after another, onto the old digital camera.

“I've lost everything…”

Her father.

Her friends.

Her dream.

And the person who mattered most to her.

---

[Ren Pov]

For a while, Yuzuki didn't approach me at all.

I thought she had truly given up on our relationship.

And yet, now she suddenly wanted to be in the same group.

Before I could answer, Takagi spoke up.

“Kitayama, I hate to say this, but aren't you being a bit too pushy? There are two people here you've hurt, you know? Are you trying to mess with us?”

“I-it's not like that… I just…”

Yuzuki lowered her head.

It was rare for Takagi to be this blunt.

He was probably saying what I wanted to say, taking on the role of the bad guy for me.

But then, unexpectedly, Nodoka spoke.

“I… I don't mind. I'm not bothered by what happened back then at all.”

Wait—you got into a fight during gym class, left early, and nearly got hit by a car, you know?

It's not exactly Yuzuki's fault, but still…

“And thinking about what Yuzuki said back then… I don't think she was wrong at all.”

“…!”

Yuzuki's eyes widened.

I didn't know exactly what the two of them had said to each other back then.

So I didn't understand why she looked so shocked.

Takagi silently watched them, then turned to me.

“So, Fukagawa—what about you? You okay with it?”

Honestly, even now, whenever I see Yuzuki's face, those countless photos from that “nightmare” Nagasawa-senpai showed me overlap in my mind.

It makes me feel sick.

Her very existence had probably become a trauma for me.

(…Even so, I can't just keep avoiding her forever.)

Nodoka found the courage.

Airi did too.

I can't stay chained to Yuzuki forever.

Even if it hurts, I have to move forward.

“…I don't mind either.”

At my answer, Yuzuki's face lit up.

“Thank you…!”

That doesn't mean I have any intention of getting back together with her.

I just want to gradually get used to the nausea that comes whenever I see her face.

At the very least, I want to be able to treat her like any other classmate.

Otherwise, from now on, every time I fall for someone, I'll start by doubting them.

Takagi leaned in and whispered.

“Are you really okay? You look pale.”

“I'm fine. Think of it as… exposure therapy.”

“Are you a dog or something…”

Then, as if switching places, Nodoka leaned in close to my ear.

“I-if it gets too hard, tell me, okay…? I'll take Yuzuki somewhere else for a bit…”

Maybe Nodoka agreed for my sake.

Honestly… this fake-gyaru only tries to look cool at times like this.

Smiling, I pinched both her cheeks and stretched them.

“Whaf are you dooing!?”

“Just checking how well artisan-made mochi stretches.”

“My cheeks are not mochi!?”

Yeah… being with Nodoka really lifts my mood.

---

“Haah… haah…”

After that, one friend of Takagi and one friend of Yuzuki joined, making us a group of six.

We immediately entered the hiking trail.

Before long, Nodoka and I—both out of shape—were completely out of breath.

“W-why is it so steep…!?”

“Seriously…”

As expected, we fell behind.

Takagi and Yuzuki slowed down to match our pace.

“You should exercise more. It's not even that hard.”

“S-shut up. Physical stuff isn't my specialty.”

“R-Ren, are you okay? Want some water?”

“Ah… yeah. Thanks, Kitayama-san.”

My hand, halfway extended, paused for a moment.

Still, I forced myself to reach out and took the bottle she offered.

Maybe this is how I slowly overcome it.

Whether my trembling hand was from exhaustion or trauma—I couldn't tell.

As I took a few sips, Nodoka stared at the bottle.

She must've been thirsty too.

“Kitayama-san, can Nodoka have some too?”

“Ah, y-yeah. Of course.”

“Here, Nodoka.”

“T-thanks, Yuzuki.”

Nodoka, apparently thirstier than me, gulped down more than half of the remaining water.

“Don't overdo it. Drinking too much will make it harder. Also… that's an indirect kiss.”

“Pff—!”

She coughed violently.

“Don't say stuff like that at a time like this! It just makes me more aware of it!”

“Oh? So you're conscious about indirectly kissing me?”

“N-no I'm not!? Y-your s-saliva is worse than a stray dog's!”

“I think I'm cleaner than a stray dog…”

Because I was laughing with Nodoka, I didn't notice right away.

Yuzuki's friend was watching us with cold eyes.