Chapter 18 | Farewell

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My and Ria’s faults were that we were both lacking in our communication, and we were selfish.

Ria had met with her childhood friend without consulting me about it, and I had chosen to break up with Ria without hearing the details.

We weren’t acting while thinking about the other person.

The result of that kind of selfishness is this.

“Shiina-san. There’s something that I’ve been curious about.”

“…What is it?”

“First of all, there’s no evidence for anything that you’ve said, right? In the end, you were trying to make Shinse, who’s weak to a woman’s tears, cry, but the fact that everything that you said was just a convenient excuse for you doesn’t change.”

“It might sound like a convenient excuse, but everything is the truth—”

“In the first place, no matter what the truth is, it’s a fact that you hurt Shinse, so shouldn’t you apologize to Shinse first?”

“That’s…”

After being advised by Reina, Ria lowered her head and apologized to me, “I’m sorry…”

It’s not just Ria who’s at fault, I was also at fault for not listening to what she had to say.

It may not be something that can be forgiven with an apology, but when I tried to lower my head as well, Reina stopped me.

“Shinse, you don’t need to apologize. Because, the truth about what Shiina-san said is still unknown, and there’s a possibility that she really did cheat on you.”

I had believed Ria’s explanation in the end, but it seems like Reina doesn’t believe her at all.

Certainly, like Reina says, it hasn’t been proven that Ria didn’t cheat.

“Hey, Shiina-san, what are you apologizing for?”

“For doing something that caused Shinse to misunderstand me and think that I cheated… “

“In other words, isn’t that like you’re indirectly complaining that it wouldn’t have turned out like this if Shinse hadn’t misunderstood you?”

“That’s… that’s not what I meant!”

“If that’s the case, then you should have apologized to Shinse first, right? Isn’t the fact that you started with excuses without giving an apology proof that you don’t think you’re at fault?”

“That’s not it… I’m reflecting on it properly…”

For Ria, she probably thought that if she apologized first, then it would mean that she had admitted to cheating, and she was afraid that I wouldn’t listen to her if that happened.

Even so, Reina’s point is also right.

“I’ll tell you this, people’s trust is based on their everyday actions.”

“I don’t want to hear that from someone who kisses people in public.”

“I don’t care what someone other than Shinse thinks of me. Conversely, I’m going to earn my lover’s trust by actively expressing my love. I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do because this is my first love… at least, Shinse doesn’t feel the slightest bit worried that I’m going to betray him, right?”

“That’s… well…”

It wouldn’t be strange for someone who had been cheated on by their lover to feel worried that their new lover might cheat on them as well when they start a new relationship.

But, when I was choosing whether or not to date Reina, I didn’t feel any of that anxiety.

I had faith that Reina would love me with all of her heart, and that she wouldn’t betray me.

The way that Reina tries to earn trust is a little forceful and physical, I guess.

But, it seems like this is her first love, so she’s probably trying to feel her way around.

But, I need to properly teach her that suddenly kissing people in public is not good.

That’s how you should point out each other’s mistakes and share your thoughts, that’s what love is about.

Ria and I weren’t able to do that.

“You did things that made it seem like your heart had left Shinse a long time ago. And you didn’t explain to Shinse why you wanted to change your image when you dyed your black hair blonde, or when you started wearing piercings, right?”

“I didn’t explain it, but… it was just embarrassing. I wanted to be a gal, who is the complete opposite of my plain looks that I’ve never liked.”

“I don’t know if even that reason is true now… lovers should be honest with each other about some of the things that they’re embarrassed about. If not, then it will become a factor for causing misunderstandings like this time.”

I had never heard the reason why Ria had changed her image from her before.

I was just satisfied when she said that she had wanted to dye her hair blonde from before or that she wanted to get her ears pierced.

I’m not interested in fashion, so I thought that’s just what girls are like, but when I saw her with that flashy guy, I became suspicious.

But, if I had heard the real reason from Ria, then the misunderstanding wouldn’t have happened.

“Also, even though Shinse would dutifully report to you whenever he was going to meet another woman, you didn’t report anything. You can’t complain when that was used as evidence to be suspicious of you when that was combined with the fact that you were meeting with a member of the opposite sex.”

“I know that even if you don’t say it…”

“You didn’t do something that you knew you should do. You lost trust, and created a situation that made it easy for misunderstandings to occur. If you didn’t want to hold hands, then you should have shaken him off, but you tried to salvage the situation, which made it seem like you were cheating. So—as a result, I took Shinse away from you.”

“…How could you say that so calmly? That you stole someone else’s boyfriend?”

“I can say it. Because I don’t feel any guilt towards a woman like you who is so thoughtless.”

“…!?”

Ria bit her lip as if she was frustrated.

I did think that I went too far, but I’m not in a position where I can say anything.

“Now then, we’ve said what we had to say, so let’s go home, Shinse.”

Reina said that and then winked at me.

“W-Wait a minute! I still need to talk to Shinse—”

“Are you going to talk about getting back together? Then Shinse has already clearly said that it’s impossible, right?”

“…That’s… still…”

“Why don’t you just give up? I think that you two would have broken up in the near future even if you had continued dating as before.”

“What do you know about us, Futaba-san? You wouldn’t know how we would have turned out in the future—”

“No… I’m sure that Reina is right.”

“…Shinse?”

I couldn’t deny that assumption with my own words.

Ria, who was calmly meeting with another guy without telling me, or while forgetting to tell me.

I don’t know how many opportunities like that there would be in the future, and if we argued every time that happened, then our relationship would definitely grow cold.

We would have broken up in the near future. It might have just happened to be that day.

I do have feelings of regret towards Ria.

I had decided in my mind that Ria was cheating without pursuing the truth, and had a relationship with Reina.

I thought that I had done something that couldn’t be undone.

But, after this incident, I lost trust in Ria.

Even if she wasn’t cheating, there were things that made me feel like I couldn’t trust Ria.

In a relationship like that, a reconciliation was not possible, and even if we continued dating, we would have broken up.

“Ria, I’ll say it again. Let’s break up.”

“N-No way, I don’t want that…”

Ria cried and repeated “I don’t want that.”

I had no right to reach out to Ria, and I didn’t have the right to say anything to her.

And then, I was pulled by the hand by Reina and left the rooftop, leaving Ria behind by herself.

⭐︎

“You still have a terrible face, Shinse.”

“Well, yeah…”

Reina and I were sitting on a bench at a park near the school.

More than an hour had passed since I broke up with Ria, and the sun was setting.

After that, Reina hadn’t said anything in particular.

She was just sitting quietly next to me, who was hanging my head.

“We can’t stay here forever. It’ll get dark soon.”

“Yeah, that’s right…”

“…I’m going to go home soon. This time, it’s something that Shinse should overcome on his own.”

“…Thank you for today, Reina.”

“You’re welcome.”

After Reina had left, I couldn’t stand up for a while and ended up staying in the park even after the sun had set.

All that was running through my head was memories with Ria.

If I had done this at that time.

If I had said that at that time.

Regrets like that floated in my head at each point of the memories.

I spent a long time together with Ria.

Our relationship had started in middle school, and we had been seeing each other almost every day.

When we met, we would talk as good friends.

And then, we started talking as lovers.

But, since that day, that relationship has been lost.

“From tomorrow… I have to return to my normal life…”

I skipped club activities after school today. I skipped school yesterday.

I’ve been skipping a lot recently, but I can’t cause any more trouble to the people around me with my personal problems.

Especially Reina, I caused her the most trouble.

I need to make it up to her someday.

“I need to properly face Reina and continue dating her…”

Even though this is her first time experiencing love, Reina calmed down the situation with reasonable and logical opinions.

Reina was much more mature than us, and we were still just kids.

“I feel like I’ll get dumped by Reina someday since she’ll be exasperated with me…”

That anxiety ran through my heart.

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