Chapter 18: What to Do

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Translator: Soafp

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Nonoa succeeded in defeating the Demon King and returned to the kingdom.

First, she was hospitalized to heal her battered body.

It was important—but even that felt unbearably slow to her.

She was so persistent, asking,

“When can I be discharged!?”

that she ended up angering the doctor.

After that came the words of gratitude and celebration from the kingdom, the honors, and the reward money.

None of it stirred her heart.

She wanted to see Erius as soon as possible.

And she wanted to ask if she could return to the party.

She even imagined being told, “It's too late now,” and—

With those expectations and anxieties swirling in her chest, she set out to look for Erius right after being discharged.

That was when, at the adventurers' guild she visited for the first time in a long while, she was told something she never expected.

“Erius? Oh, that guy's dead.”

“…What?”

As Nonoa stood there, stunned by the unexpected truth, the man continued.

“Let's see… yeah, he was killed by a woman named Lena or something.”

By Lena?

By that girl who adored Erius so deeply?

She couldn't believe it.

On a personal level, she didn't have no feelings toward Lena.

But she could understand why Lena had been so harsh toward her.

Wanting to be acknowledged by Erius, wanting to be useful to him—

She understood that feeling better than anyone.

“Well, that's how it is. Too bad you didn't even get to throw a comeback at him or anything…”

“Shut up.”

“Huh? What are you saying? He kicked you out, didn't he? You can say whatever you want about a guy like that—”

“I said… shut up, didn't I?”

The man's words made her snap, and before she realized it, her hand was on her sword.

Sensing the dangerous air she gave off, the man fell backward onto the floor.

“Hii!”

Seeing him tremble as if he were staring at a monster made her come back to her senses.

This was just lashing out.

Even knowing that, no words of apology came to her lips.

As she turned away…

Regret came crashing over her, one wave after another.

Back then.

When she had been asked to return.

What if she had gone back?

Such pointless thoughts kept surfacing no matter how often she tried to shake them away.

When they were attacked by monsters during their adventures, Erius would say,

“Are you okay?”

He had called out to her like that, saving her again and again, even though she was a burden.

If only she had gone back then.

Even if Erius couldn't keep up in battle, couldn't she have protected him?

If she had, wouldn't the tragedy she'd just heard about—being killed by a companion—have been avoided, at least?

But could she have defeated the Demon King while protecting someone else?

No. That would have been impossible.

Then if only she had been stronger.

If she had prepared more before challenging the Demon King, if she had gained enough strength to fight while protecting Erius, at least?

Her thoughts spun in circles.

No matter what she thought now—

it was already too late.

Before she realized it, she was back at her lodging.

And then—

“…Ah…”

A voice slipped out of her on its own.

That voice gradually grew louder…

“Ahhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhh!”

That night, Nonoa could not stop crying out in grief until dawn.

And even after morning came, the thoughts spinning in her head would not stop.

“I was saved by Erius so many times, and yet when he truly needed help, I couldn't help him! I should have put the Demon King off until later! I knew he was in trouble—no matter what, I should have gone back to him! And yet, I…”

The regrets Nonoa had carried for an entire year poured out of her like a broken dam.

As she watched her in silence for a while, Erius's mother suddenly spoke—unexpected words.

“That's not true, Nonoa. Don't… belittle him like that.”

“…What?”

As Nonoa confessed through tears, unable to hold back her emotions, Erius's mother spoke for the first time in a stern tone, unlike her usual gentle manner.

Startled by the change, Nonoa looked at her, and after a moment, the woman's expression softened again, her voice becoming gentle, like one used to soothe a child.

“Do you really think that boy would say, ‘Forget the Demon King, save me first'? I don't think so. Erius would say this instead: ‘If you can defeat the Demon King, then leave me be.' I'm sure that's what he would say.”

“That's…”

Her words were right.

Nonoa had no choice but to admit it.

She could picture it so clearly that she was certain—he really would say that.

“I think so too, but…”

Even so, the feelings she carried didn't become any lighter.

Perhaps seeing how troubled Nonoa was, Erius's mother said,

“Wait here a moment,”

and left her seat.

She went into another room, then quickly returned with something in her hand.

“Here. Take this.”

Nonoa accepted what was offered.

It looked like a letter.

“A few months before he died… he came back here.”

“Erius… came here?”

“Yes. He didn't show his face for four years after leaving home, and then when he finally did come back, he asked me something strange. He said, ‘If Nonoa ever comes here, I want you to give this to her.' I told him he should just give it to you himself.”

“Erius did something like that…”

“He did ask strange things. At the time, that's what I thought, but… maybe Erius knew this would happen. There were strange things sometimes.”

“Strange things?”

“Yes. The day he left on his journey. I dropped a dish while I was cleaning up after breakfast. I thought it would hit the floor and shatter. But he caught it in midair—like he knew I was going to drop it.”

“Something like that…”

But Nonoa thought it was possible—if it was Erius.

Sometimes, he behaved as if he could see what was coming next.

“That's right. So, Nonoa, you don't need to worry. I think he knew something would happen to him. It's sad that Erius died. But you see, we're alive. And being alive means there's something we still have to do.”

“Something like… encouraging me like this?”

“Fufu, yes, perhaps. I don't know what's written in that letter either. But after you read it… move forward. There are many things that only you can do, aren't there?”

“Yes…”

Originally, Nonoa had come here intending to make amends.

If she couldn't repay Erius himself, then at least she wanted to give something back to his remaining family.

That was why she had visited.

And yet—

She had lost her son.

Her grief must be far deeper than Nonoa's.

And yet, Erius's mother barely showed it at all, instead encouraging Nonoa.

If Nonoa tried to ease her own guilt by offering money or goods, such shallow thinking would surely be rejected.

To the Sword Saint.

To Erius.

And to this woman as well.

She had only ever received.

No matter how strong she thought she had become, she could not measure up to them.

Then all she could do was follow their example.

Having decided that, she thought she should once again properly consider what she needed to do.

“Thank you. Just one more thing… if there's a grave for Erius, could you tell me where it is?”

“Of course. He'll be happy if you visit.”

After talking a little more with her about Erius, Nonoa was told where the grave was and returned home.

When night fell, she opened the letter, feeling a little nervous.

For a moment, she worried that it might contain resentment…

But then she felt foolish for even thinking that.

Erius wouldn't go out of his way to ask his mother to deliver something like that.

Thinking so, she began to read.

What was written there was something she could hardly believe.