Side Story 8: If you make a mistake again

Reading Settings

Translator: Soafp

TL: This happened before the wedding.

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~Ruiko Himekawa’s Point of View

Ruiko Himekawa will be 22 years old this year.

Her title of student president is more than three years old.

In high school, she was always called the student president even after her term of office was over, but at university, no one calls her that.

She spends her days as a perfectly normal university student.

After graduating from high school, Ruiko decided to become a teacher.

She is now in a specialized university and will finally be assigned to an elementary school as a trainee teacher for a few weeks starting next week.

“—Hm~mm, I’m anxious~”

She is relaxing on the sofa, looking at materials about the elementary school where she will be placed and a reference book to enhance her studies.

A while ago, she was facing the desk with a good posture, but now she has moved to the sofa to refresh herself.

Still, she cannot let go of the materials. If she doesn’t look at them, she can’t help but feel anxious. Ruiko wanted to deepen her understanding of the elementary school to which she was assigned, even if only a little.

Then she receives a message from someone.

Pirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

“Ah, it’s ……L◯in ……”

─ ─ I check the new notification.

The sender is …… from a former senpai at her university.

[Himekawa-san, your teaching practicum is coming up soon, right? It might be tough dealing with the established relationships in the class, but do your best to fit in! You’re a serious person, so I’m sure you’ll be okay!]

These were messages of encouragement and pep.

To which she replied in gratitude.

[Thank you very much! I’ll do my best!]

……Yes, I think it was an uninteresting reply.

But it was the best I could do, not because I was trying to be nice or mean, but because it was the best I could do.

I have no idea how much I can intrude on others anymore.

It’s scary to think that my words could hurt someone, especially if they’re a good person.

I don’t really know how much I can trust people. Since no one will give me an answer, I have to figure it out for myself. But it’s really hard for me to do that, since I used to just believe whatever the majority thought and didn’t believe what Ryosuke said, even though I loved him.

I’m scared of hurting people.

I can’t get Ryosuke’s sad face out of my head, and I still vividly remember it with even the smallest incident.

At times like that, I can’t think of anything else.

The more I think about it, the more embarrassed I feel about myself… I’m so pathetic.

There’s a part of me that just wants to stay put forever.

But even then, life keeps moving forward, whether I like it or not.

……

……

Yes, I’m about to start my teaching practice soon.

I’m a fourth-year college student this year, so …… the woman who contacted me just now is a caring senpai who graduated a year ahead of me last year.

The woman has already been assigned to another school as a Japanese language teacher and seems to have a good relationship not only with the students but also with the other teachers.

As I am not good at socializing, I envy her.

But she was a kind Senpai who taught me a lot, and I felt like I could understand why the kids and other teachers liked her.

Even though I wasn’t good at expressing myself, she taught me important things…she was a really kind person.

I want to say that there’s no one kinder than her, but I actually know two people who are even kinder than her.

Ryosuke and Mai will be in their third year of college.

Two people who I may never see them again.

No, I don’t have any face to put on.

At the very least, I shouldn’t be the one to go see them.

Still…

I hope the two of them will be happy—-

“……………”

I’m feeling down.

How can I be a teacher if I’m like this?

Even though I was thinking like that, I still couldn’t give up on my dream of becoming a teacher.

“Maybe I should watch TV to distract myself.”

I turned on the TV as a distraction.

I was looking for an interesting channel when I found a TV program featuring Kaede.

I watch the channel without hesitation.

“Uwa, …… Kaede, you’re appearing in such a great show.”

It was a one-on-one conversation between a famous female celebrity and a guest who visited that day.

The charm of the show is its mysterious atmosphere, and it is a long-running program that has been running since I was born.

Kaede, who appeared as a guest on the show, was cheerful and enlivened with her quick and lively answers.

She was not smiling.

…..But I can’t help but think she looks bored to me.

I’m her best friend and I can tell.

“We’ve known each other for so long.”

Maybe I’m the only one who thinks she’s my best friend.

Lately, she doesn’t even play with me anymore, and I feel a little sad that Kaede seems to be leaving me.

Kaede and I have been through so much, but I still love her and she is my best friend.

I listen to Kaede’s voice as I read over the material.

[Kaede, you are a good looking girl and you have a wonderful personality, you know? Do you have many friends in your hometown?]

[No, I have only one friend whom I can trust with all my heart. She is currently working hard to become a teacher, and I support her wholeheartedly.]

[……Fufufufu]

[What’s the matter?]

[You look so happy …… that I feel like I’m having a heart-to-heart for the first time right now with you.]

[……, that’s not true.]

[I’m just joking, you know? …..And is your friend important to you?]

[……Yes, it’s a difficult time for me, so I haven’t contacted her, but I’m thinking of asking her out for dinner when things settle down.]

[……Fufufu You must really care about that girl.]

[Without her, …… I might not be the person I am today. She is the only person outside of my family that I can trust.]

[I wonder if you’ve told her how you feel about her.]

[I’m too embarrassed to tell her. I haven’t even told her that I’m going to be on this show.]

[Do you want to say something since you haven’t said anything yet?]

[Is there something I want to say… it’s difficult.]

[Don’t overthink it, it’s okay to say something simple that you’re thinking.]

[Okay then… I want to say ‘Do your best!!’ — I want to say it with a lot of strength.]

……

……

Ruiko buried her face in the sofa while her face turned bright red. She was already too busy studying.

She took out her phone and sent a message.

The sender was of course …… Kaede Yamamoto.

[Hey Kaede! Don’t say such embarrassing things on TV!]

[Wha?! Don’t look at it without permission!]

[I saw it without permission! If Kaede-chan is on it, I’m going to watch it! Besides, how would I know that you think that way if you don’t say it? I thought you were avoiding me or something!?]

[…You thought I was avoiding you!? —No, that’s not it. That was about someone else, not about Ruiko. It was a leading question that was prompted by Shirayanagi. So, it feels like I was forced to say those things. Also, it was edited in various ways. I’m surprised watching the broadcast right now. I don’t remember saying those things. They cut out words and put them together skillfully. You’re not familiar with the TV industry, are you? These people have the ability to do that! They have such amazing technology! Besides, it’s not about Ruiko in the first place! …Do you understand!?]

[Well, your response was too long and made me laugh.]

—-A few minutes later—

[Kaede-chan?]

[You haven’t read my messages.]

[Hey, I’m sorry.]

[…………Huh?]

[Could it be that I’m blocked?!]

Ruiko rushed to make a phone call.

Kaede answered the phone immediately and her voice was trembling with shame, which could be heard through the receiver, but she heard Ruiko’s apology and unblocked her.

~A few days later~.

……Finally, the teaching practice starts today.

Thanks to the fact that I was able to talk with Kaede for the first time in a while, I think I was able to study with ease for the past few days.

(……Yet I couldn’t speak well in the staff room…)

Self-expression is difficult …… or rather, impossible.

Whenever I try to appeal, all I can think about is whether or not I’m going to hurt the other person with my appeal.

It’s better not to show myself than to hurt the other person.

(I hurt Ryosuke with that before.)

Reflect on what happened.

Apologize to the other person.

Listen to Kaede.

I, who drove Ryosuke-kun away without considering his feelings with such off-the-cuff words, can’t talk to him without hurting him.

[…… please take care of me.]

So I turned over and greeted them in a whisper.

The teachers didn’t seem particularly bothered by it, thinking it was just my personality, but that was just me running away from interacting with people.

I do this all the time.

Even though I know it in my heart, I can’t speak my mind when I see someone in front of me.

(When Kaede is my partner, I can talk like that, but …… I’m a typical shy person.)

I have to admit it… I’m not good with myself. It’s not that I’m not good with others… I just don’t trust myself and I’m not good at dealing with myself.

(Can I really….. really be a teacher if I’m like this?)

I thought as I stood in front of the classroom.

“Well, let me introduce you to your teacher! ─ ─ Please come in! Himekawa-sensei!”

“Y-yes!”

Don’t be weak.

It will be disrespectful to the children. ……

I steel myself, and at the homeroom teacher’s signal, I enter the classroom.

“E-everyone! Nice to meet you! I’m Ruiko Himekawa! I’ll be with you for a little while now, but I look forward to working with you!”

“”””Please take care of us””””

When I introduced myself, the elementary school students greeted me back very cheerfully.

I am in charge of the fifth grade.

It is a class of 30 students, both boys and girls.

I have to be careful not to hurt these children. …… I have to pay close attention and observe how I can interact with them without hurting them.

“I am Sae Maruta! Pleased to meet you!”

“My name is Yusuke Matsuzaka! My dream is to become a professional baseball player!”

─I listen to the children introduce themselves.

They are all so bright and cute.

“I’m Akira Mizuoka! I love reading school!”

“I’m Youka Kirishima, …… and I’m looking forward to working with you. ……”

(That girl is …… No way…… it can’t be ……!?)

The girl who just introduced herself is …… yeah, I thought she looked a little familiar when I saw her face, but when I heard her voice and name, I was sure.

She is definitely Fumika Kirishima’s younger sister.

She was in the first grade at the time, so age-wise it matches with the fifth grade, and after all, I’m sure of it.

I had met her briefly when she was good friends with Ryosuke-kun.

“……………”

(…… Huh?)

After she finished introducing herself, she just turned her head down.

I was very young when I last saw her……so I definitely remember that she was a very active child at that time, as if it was no surprise that she didn’t remember me.

But I don’t see that aspect from Youka-chan now.

(Maybe something happened to her?).

I can’t help but wonder about her.

And if I talk to Youka-chan, I might be able to find out something about Fumika-san, who has disappeared.