Chapter 8: Masks and Real Feelings

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Translator: Soafp

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“Ooi, Natsu? Hellooo! Natsu—! Are you listening?” (Yuki)

“Don't shout right next to my ear. I'm awake.” (Natsu)

“I asked if you were listening. You've been spacing out a lot lately. Are you okay?” (Yuki)

(Back then, I was struggling with something.)

Job hunting?

(Bzzzt, wrong. Too predictable and boring!)

I wasn't trying to make a joke.

“Hmm, just thinking about something. I'm stuck in a bit of a maze.” (Natsu)

“I'll listen. How about we go to a café after class?” (Yuki)

“Hmm, I'll talk once I've thought it through a bit more. Thanks, Yuki.” (Natsu)

(It's hard to explain when you haven't fully sorted it out yourself.)

It's difficult to convey something if you don't understand it yourself.

“Hey, Yuki, how do you open the Ama-no-Iwato cave?” (Natsu)

“Ha? Are you planning to meet Amaterasu?” (Yuki)

Is this from the Nihon Shoki?

(It's probably about holding a banquet, right?)

That's too simplistic.

(I was in a hurry.)

“Hmm? It's just about a childhood friend.” (Natsu)

Just a friend, huh.

(A stubborn one.)

Yeah, that's true.

“Let's go to that café. I'll help you figure out how to open that cave.” (Yuki)

“Sure, thanks.” (Natsu)

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“So, what's the deal with the Ama-no-Iwato cave?” (Yuki)

“Well, actually—” (Natsu)

(I told her about how things had been since meeting you.)

So, I was Amaterasu, huh.

“I see. So your childhood friend moved next door and then ended up becoming your junior at school, and you got so excited that you went a bit overboard?”

“I wasn't that excited—” (Natsu)

(Did I seem that excited?)

You were happy, weren't you?

(Of course, I was. Isn't that obvious?)

I wouldn't know.

“You were, right? It's a good thing. I thought you were finally starting to brighten up. But—” (Yuki)

“Whatcha doin’? It hurts when you pinch me like that!” (Natsu)

“Yeah, Natsu's cheeks are so squishy. But anyway, take off that fake smile already.” (Yuki)

(She pinched me so hard, I thought my face was going to get crushed.)

She's a strong person.

“What do you mean, ‘fake smile'? Do I look weird or something?” (Natsu)

“Your smile looks stiff. Sure, back then, I told you to force a smile if you had to. But if you really want to convey something to someone, you have to speak from the heart. People will only find superficial kindness annoying if there's something more going on.” (Yuki)

(She is right. There's no way someone as wounded as you could accept the false version of me.)

Your honesty is one of your best traits.

“Annoying, huh… Yeah, you're right. I'll stop trying to act like an older sister. I'll just say what I want to say and ask what I want to ask. It might seem pushy, but I don't think things can stay the way they are now.” (Natsu)

“Alright! That sounds good. So, how about we have pasta for dinner?” (Yuki)

That's a bit of a nudge.

“Alright! But I'm not paying.” (Natsu)

(My best friend can be pretty shrewd.)

“Hmm, then I'll buy the ingredients, and we can eat at your place. Maybe we'll get to meet that childhood friend of yours?” (Yuki)

“Maybe, but what do you plan to do if you meet him?” (Natsu)

(She seemed really curious.)

Sorry I couldn't meet your expectations.

“Hmm? I'm not planning to do anything. I'm just going to watch over you, Natsu.” (Yuki)

“So you're just coming over to eat, huh? Well, you did listen to me, so I guess that's fair.” (Natsu)

(But in the end, you didn't come home, did you?)

I had a part-time job.

Had to work hard as a poor student.

“Too bad. Your childhood friend didn't come home. I'll try again next time. See you later.” (Yuki)

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“Aah!” (Haru)

(I was so surprised that my wish had come true that I couldn't find the right words.)

I almost tried to run away.

“Good morning, Haru-kun. Are you heading to class now?” (Natsu)

“Good morning.” (Haru)

“I'm sorry about the other day. I acted without considering how it might bother you. I'd like to talk to you about something. I'll work around your schedule, so could you please give me a little bit of your time?” (Natsu)

(I was nervous. Especially after seeing you so upset before.)

Even though your tone was calm, your eyes were pleading with me.

(Yeah. I wasn't going to let you go this time.)

“…I'm busy every day with work.” (Haru)

“We can talk while eating. If you'd like, I can cook for you. Please, Haru-kun, I really want to talk to you.” (Natsu)

“Is it just out of curiosity?” (Haru)

(There was a sharpness to that, wasn't there?)

I don't remember.

“Well, let me show you something first.” (Natsu)

“Your phone?” (Haru)

“Yeah, could you look at this?” (Natsu)

I was shocked.

(Yeah, I bet. You didn't expect me to show you pictures of them, did you?)

“W-why do you have these—” (Haru)

“Wait, Haru-kun! This is what I want you to see. This photo is from two years ago, on Christmas.” (Natsu)

You caught me just as I was about to run away.

“What? Why do you have this picture, Na-chan?” (Haru)

“Well, it's not something I can explain here. When would be a good time for you, Haru-kun?” (Natsu)

I didn't understand why you had that picture.

I didn't understand what you knew.

I didn't understand what you wanted to ask.

I wanted to know what you intended to do.

“…I'm free on Saturday morning.” (Haru)

“Phew. Okay, thank you. Then, when you're ready, could you come to my place? I'll make lunch so we can eat together. I live alone, so I can cook decently well. So… you'll promise me, right?” (Natsu)

You left without waiting for my answer. After you left, I desperately tried to suppress the memories. If they resurfaced, I felt like my heart would break.

So I buried my emotions.