V4Ch3: Part 1

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Translator: Soafp

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[Shu PoV]

[We will definitely be happy together. That's our resolve.]

[I truly love Towa-kun with all my heart.]

Those words won’t leave my head even though it’s been about two months.

To me…Shu Sasaki, Ayana, my childhood friend, was the most precious person in the world… she was precious, beloved, and irreplaceable.

But it turns out I was the only one who thought that way… I had arrogantly believed that Ayana felt the same way about me.

[Don’t be ridiculous… why… why?!]

What did I do…I…I…!

I was just happy to have her by my side… but my feelings never reached Ayana, and she and Towa were in love with each other.

Seeing them together, I kept muttering to myself how absurd it was.

Unable to accept the current reality… I felt hatred, envy, and utter despair as I spewed out ugly words at the two of them… I was so miserable.

“…It’s quiet.”

I muttered to myself on the way home from school, walking alone.

With Towa and Ayana no longer by my side, my world had become quiet.

Having been rejected by Ayana and faced with reality by Towa, I had distanced myself from everyone, including Iori-san and Mari… spending my time alone like this.

But I was grateful for the quiet time alone.

Being alone like this allowed me to forget the unpleasant things… I didn't have to think about anything… and more than anything, it gave me a chance to reflect on myself.

“Ayana looks so… so happy being with Towa.”

Thinking back on everything, sure, Ayana used to smile when she was with me, but seeing her now, I realized that the smiles she had with Towa were genuine.

In the end, I was just getting excited by myself.

I conveniently interpreted that Ayana liked me… ha, I was such a straightforward child.

“Without Towa and Ayana… I said it's nice and quiet, but it's really lonely.”

I do have other friends, but today I told them I wanted to go home alone, so no one is here… haha, it’s my own fault for feeling lonely after saying that.

“…Ah.”

As I saw my house coming into view, I made eye contact with a certain person.

“Ara, Shu-kun?”

Standing there was Ayana’s mother, Seina-san.

Well, it's not unusual since our houses are across from each other, but I hadn’t seen her or spoken to her in a while.

Since I hadn't seen Ayana, I naturally hadn’t interacted with Seina-san either, and my mom hadn't met with Seina-san since the incident with Ayana.

“…”

Even though Seina-san called my name when our eyes met, I had nothing to say since I had become estranged from Ayana… what kind of face should I make, and what should I talk about?

As I tried to walk past with my head down, Seina-san not only called out to me again but also made an unexpected suggestion.

“Shu-kun, would you like to come in for some tea?”

“Eh?”

A sudden proposal… I almost refused and tried to run away, but I nodded.

I didn’t know why… but I felt like this was something I needed.

“Well then, come in, please.”

“Excuse me…”

Led by Seina-san, I was taken to a familiar living room where I was served tea, and a small tea party without Ayana began.

Even though it was called a tea party, there wasn’t any specific conversation in mind. I just sat there restlessly, my eyes darting around… and then I spotted a certain photograph.

“Ayana… and Towa.”

In the photo, Towa and Ayana looked exactly as they do now, smiling happily along with Seina-san and Towa's mother. The warmth of their smiles made me smile too, despite myself.

(…Towa)

It's not that I didn't feel anything looking at Towa… or that I wasn't jealous of him. But seeing that photo filled with warmth, I couldn't help but smile and relax my cheeks.

“They look happy, don't they? I never imagined a day would come when I would take a photo with Towa-kun and his mother Akemi, after having done such a terrible thing.”

A terrible thing…? What does Seina-san mean by that?

Sensing the question on my face, Seina-san began to explain. It was the same as what my mother and Kotone had done… the sin of saying cruel things to Towa in the past.

…If that's a sin, then I'm guilty too. I had also mocked him.

Listening to Seina-san, what she told me was beyond anything I could have imagined.

“Ayana even said she hated sharing the same blood as me.”

“…”

I was at a loss for words at such a cruel story.

To me, it was something I could never say to my family… no matter how much we fought or how harsh our arguments got, I couldn't say it, not even as a joke.

But Ayana said that…?

And this kind Seina-san, who had always treated me so nicely, said such horrible things to Towa…?

Wait, that's too much information to process all at once.

(But… that's how it was.)

How must Towa have felt at that time?

Seeing Ayana's anger, it's easy to imagine how hurt Towa must have been… he must have been deeply pained.

When he was told he couldn't participate in the soccer tournament, he was stunned… and I laughed at him. Everything Ayana pointed out was true.

(I was… envious of Towa.)

Towa could do everything I couldn't… he was good at sports, good at studying, and good-looking. He and Ayana made a perfect pair… I was envious and, at the same time, jealous, which is why I laughed… why I felt joy at his misfortune.

“Shu-kun? Are you okay?”

“…I’m sorry.”

Worried by my silence, Seina-san showed concern, and I apologized.

(I… am truly a terrible person.)

Even if he didn't notice, laughing at someone's misfortune is the lowest of the low.

Realizing anew how ugly and filthy I was inside made me feel sick… in the end, deep down, I didn't see Towa as a friend but as an obstacle to getting closer to Ayana.

“…Haha.”

Ah… I really am nothing but a fool.

Confronting Towa on the rooftop, I was beyond saving… selfish to the core, never considering Ayana's feelings… everything Towa said was true.

Afterward, I said my goodbyes to Seina-san and left.

Why did Seina-san call out to me… it wasn't for something as convenient as wanting us to reconcile. She noticed I had been looking down… because Seina-san is a very kind person, she was worried about me. I’m sure of it.

“Haa…”

I headed straight to my room upon returning home and curled up on my bed. In the dimly lit room, my mind replayed memories of Towa, Ayana, and me, from our childhood days spent together.

“Towa… you’ve always been so cool.”

Towa was… he was always amazing. He had everything I didn't, could do everything I couldn't, and he did it all without becoming arrogant. He always worked hard at soccer and everything else… and I watched him do it all alongside Ayana.

“It’s frustrating, but… I get it. I understand why Ayana loves you… because you care about her so much… you love her so deeply.”

It hurts… it really does. I was undoubtedly a fool, but my feelings for Ayana were real… no matter what anyone says, I won't let anyone call my feelings a lie. I truly loved Ayana.

“Be happy together… huh.”

I muttered Towa's words. He declared that they would be happy together, while I foolishly believed that happiness would just come my way if I sought her affection. I was really hopeless.

“………”

I reached out towards the ceiling, clenching my fist as if trying to grasp the lost connection. No matter how much I regret it, no matter how much I look back at the past, my connection with Towa and Ayana is severed. It's a fitting end for someone as hopeless as me to give up, thinking no words will reach them now.

[This time, I talked to you because I wanted you to look forward. Just as Towa-kun and Ayana helped me do… because right now, you're just like I was when Ayana rejected me.]

Seina-san's words as we parted echoed in my mind. Looking forward… I took it to mean not keeping my head down but raising it to see the future and move forward.

“Yeah… right. Nothing will change if I keep being down… and who knows how long it'll take if I just hope time will solve everything… if I choose that path, I think I'll end up regretting it… no, I definitely will.”

A future of regret or a future where I gave it my all, even if things didn't go perfectly—there's no need to think twice about it.

With a loud slap, I smacked my cheeks hard with both hands. It hurt… it hurt a lot more than I expected. I should've held back a bit… ouch.

“…Ah, my cheeks are bright red.”

My face in the mirror looked terrible. Even though it was to psych myself up, it's typical of me to act without thinking, and I laughed bitterly at myself. But I felt incredibly clear-headed.

The time spent apart from Towa and Ayana, and the brief conversation with Seina-san, had given me a lot to think about.

“I… I want to make up with them. They might think it's too late or question why I'm doing it now… or even if we can't reconcile, even if Towa and Ayana reject me more… I want to apologize.”

Yes… I need to apologize. For laughing when Towa got hurt, for forcing my one-sided feelings onto Ayana. No matter what form it takes, I need to apologize… and above all, for causing everything with my carelessness. Even though I apologized back then, I need to apologize once more.

With that decision, my heart felt as light as if I had been reborn. Though I'm a coward and might get clouded again soon, it's been a long time since I felt this lighthearted.

“It's already evening, but Mom and Kotone aren't home… I'll go out again for a change of pace.”

Once I made up my mind, I moved quickly.

Changing quickly into my casual clothes, I headed outside… But this was my first time going out without having a specific place to go. If it got late and my mom called, I’d just hurry back home.

(…Is that?)

Just as I stepped out into the town, I noticed someone familiar in a difficult situation. That person had always looked out for me, even after what happened with Towa—she’s a senior and the student council president, Iori Honjo-san.

“Is she… being hit on?”

Seeing her being approached by a man in a suit, I thought Iori-san might be getting hit on, but upon closer inspection, it seemed different. Regardless, I could tell she was troubled, so I felt compelled to help her and started walking towards them.

(…I want to help… Even though I’ve always run away before, even when it was someone I was close to… Why am I acting differently now?)

There was a time when Ayana was being hit on, and I couldn't do anything… I even tried to ignore it and got scolded by Towa. Despite being a coward, I felt an overwhelming urge to help the troubled Iori-san.

“Iori-san!”

“Eh? Shu-kun…?”

“W-what…?”

Iori-san looked surprised to see me, standing in front of her protectively. The man also seemed taken aback. It didn't look like he was hitting on her after all.

“Could it be… Did you think I was hitting on her?”

“Judging by his reaction, it seems so.”

“Uhm…”

Wait… Did I just jump to conclusions? I felt anxious, but at least Iori-san didn't seem to be bothered by my interference. She gently took my hand.

“Even though it wasn’t hitting on, I did find him a bit persistent. So, having him step in helped me a lot. Consider this a refusal from me.”

“…I understand. Sorry for being so insistent.”

After watching the exchange between Iori-san and the man, she led me to a bench a little farther away, where we sat down.

“Yare yare (good grief)… I never thought I’d get such an offer.”

“What was that all about?”

“He’s from a talent agency. It was a scouting offer.”

“A talent agency?!”

Isn't that a big deal…?!

I must have been making an incredibly surprised face… But even if I couldn't understand why Iori-san caught a scout's eye, I couldn't deny it either.

(Iori-san… She really is incredibly beautiful.)

Yes, Iori-san is truly beautiful. She has an elegant face and an outstanding figure, and there's nothing to criticize about her appearance… And it's not like she has a bad personality either. She's great both inside and out.

“Fufu, why are you staring at me like that?”

“…I just thought that it makes sense for you to get scouted.”

“That’s quite a flattering thing to say… Fmm?”

“W-What is it…?”

Iori-san leaned in close, examining my face thoughtfully. As always, my timid nature made me nervous, and my face showed it right away. She was so close, and the pleasant scent she gave off made me instinctively look away.

“Sorry for staring like that. It’s just… I haven’t talked to you much recently, and it feels like your vibe has changed quite a bit.”

“My vibe…?”

My vibe has changed…? Even if someone says that, I don’t really understand it myself… But, I have a small suspicion. Perhaps it’s because I feel lighter after deciding that I want to apologize to Towa and Ayana and move forward… Could that be related?

“Something must have happened… Though that’s a silly question, isn’t it? Something must have happened to cause this change in you.”

“I do have an idea, but I’m not sure if that’s really it…”

“I’m intrigued… I definitely want to hear about it.”

Iori-san leaned in even closer than before. If I moved my face even a little, it would be a major accident… No, I can’t be thinking about things like that! But, Iori-san’s words were truly comforting for me at this moment.

“…Iori-san?”

“Yes?”

“Would you mind listening to me for a bit?”