Vol. 1 Chapter 23: To Stand Next To You Again
Translated and Edited by: luccayn.
Common Honorifics:
-san: A polite suffix, but not excessively formal.
-kun: A common suffix among friends and younger people.
-chan: A common suffix among people you're close with, mostly used for feminine nicknames and girls, since it's cutesy and childlike.
-senpai: A common suffix and noun used to address or refer to one's older or more senior colleagues in a school, workplace, dojo, or sports club.
-sensei: A suffix and noun that literally means teacher.
“How was it Haruka-chan? Were you able to talk to Aizawa-kun properly?” During lunchtime Natsumi, my friend, walked up to me with a worried look on her face.
“Yeah… It's still a bit awkward, but I think I was able to talk to him more than usual.”
“Haah~ I'm so glad to hear that! I was worried about you two when Taiga-kun kept talking. Your faces were darker than usual, y'know?”
“… Yeah.”
Listening to Taiga's story made me remember what happened, and I hated it. I even struggled to hold back my tears as I recalled all that happened, and perhaps Takkun noticed that too.
But still, the words Taiga said still remain engraved in my heart.
You can't be called childhood friends if you don't care for each other, huh…
Takkun and I used to, but how about now? I still care about him, that has never changed, but what about him? Maybe he doesn't hold the same feelings I do anymore… And it's my fault. I betrayed him, so he walked out of my life.
If I could, I'd love to get back into our old relationship again, but…
“Haruka-chan, you okay? Your mind is in the clouds right now.”
“Eh? I'm fine. I was just thinking about what you said and my mind got lost in thought,” My face got dark while thinking about the current situation, so I made Natsumi worry.
“Taiga-kun's story was about a childhood friend… Haruka-chan, something did happen with Aizawa-kun after all, didn't it?”
“…”
“I know I'm being a bit meddlesome, but do you wanna talk about it? All I want is to help you, Haruka-chan.”
“… Thanks. I was wondering when I should tell you, so I want you to hear it.”
It's only been a few days since we've met, but I've already worried her far more times than I could count due to what happened between me and Takkun. It would be better to talk about it sooner rather than later.
After steeling myself, I told her about what I'd done.
She listened to me silently until I said the last word, but as soon as I stopped, she shook her shoulders and slammed the desk, opening her mouth in anger. The sound made everyone around us look, but she continued.
“Oh my God! What's up with that Kakiya guy?! He's the worst! Just because you dumped him he started going after Aizawa-kun, who was by your side! He's not even worthy of being called a man! He's so dirty, disgusting, filthy!”
“U–Um, Natsumi-chan…”
“Don't worry! I'm on your side, Haruka-chan! It's true that I let myself go for a minute here, but anyone would've done the same in this situation! It's all Kakiya's fault for pressuring you into participating even though you hated it!”
She blamed Kakiya with a hoarse voice… But no matter the cause, it's true I hurt him. That guy wasn't the only one to blame.
“Erm, calm down Natsumi-chan. It's true I can't forgive Kakiya for what he did, but that doesn't change the fact that I hurt him…”
“Haruka-chan…”
“That's why it's fine. Just being able to talk casually as we did today makes me happy enough…”
I don't want more than that. I have no right to go back to that wonderful relationship we had after I backstabbed him…
“… Are you really fine with that, Haruka-chan?”
“Eh…?”
“Are you 100% sure you want to stay like you are with Aizawa-kun? Of course not! Why? You're looking really bitter right now, Haruka-chan!” She said so with a serious face.
“…”
… I guess I'm still as transparent as ever. I can't even hide what I'm feeling.
But she's right. Just the thought of our relationship staying as is makes me feel as though my heart could drown in sadness. Noticing my depressed face, Natsumi continued.
“So, what do you really want to do, Haruka-chan?”
“I…”
I made up my mind.
“I want to apologize for what I've done and stand by his side once more… I want him to like me again.”
“I see… So that's how you really feel,” Natsumi said so with a smile.
Letting out these feelings I've kept bottled up inside refreshed me to an amazing degree… Yet I know I'm being selfish.
Even though guilt for what I did against him still consumes me, I still want to stand next to him, and no matter how much I try to drown these feelings, I just couldn't… That's because I love him so, so much.
“I'll try my best to make you like me again, Takkun.”
“Yes! In this case, I'll help your love come true from the shadows!”
“N–Natsumi-chan, thanks…” My voice trembled a bit with my overwhelming happiness. After hearing my story, she still supported my love.
… I really do have a nice friend.
I was sincerely grateful for Natsumi's smiles, yet after a few seconds, her face turned a bit sour, as if she'd just noticed something.
“Ah… Haruka-chan, I'm so, so sorry!”
“Eh? What happened?”
“Um, well, y'know, I was so excited I didn't realize I was being so loud with it…”
“… Huh?”
“It's lunchtime. Everyone heard our conversation just now!”
“… Ah.”
As soon as I realized she plopped her tongue out with a “Teehee” expression. Looking around I saw it was indeed lunchtime and although some students weren't in the classroom, most were and they surely heard our conversation.
Their eyes were all gentle, and they all giggled.
“—!”
I covered my face with my hands, my face flushed with the sheer embarrassment of the whole situation. Fortunately, Takkun wasn't in the classroom, though his three new friends were… Especially Taiga and Towa, since they both smiled as if they found something interesting.
“I've heard your story! As Tatsu's friend, I'm willing to help!” Taiga-kun chimed in.
“I can't overlook something so interes— I mean, something so important!” Towa continued.
“Sakurai-san, I also think a story of love between two childhood friends is nice. I'm rooting for you!” Suzume leaned in close to me.
“T–Thank you, everyone…”
As with Natsumi, my voice kept breaking and I was truly glad to hear the feelings of that trio… I'm sure they were good friends, too.
“So, what do we do first? If we gather the whole school and make her confess her feelings in front of everybody, Tatsu won't be able to refuse,” Tetsu started with his idea.
“Ryu might run away before she confesses, so I think it's better to do it via the school broadcast?” Towa continued.
“That's it! We need to get as many students as possible to listen!”
“W–Well, I think it's possible to do it on stage at a school assembly or something,” Suzume added.
“Suzume's idea might be good too… Hmm, it could be one of these two—”
“U–Um, you three…”
“Hm?” They all looked at me.
They were not aware their ideas were all extremely bad. After all that, I began to wonder if I could really rely on those three.
“Nothing, um… Nice to meet you?”
“Same! Trust me, I'll help you!” Tetsu said.
“Mhm, good luck with everything!” Towa smiled.
“G–Good luck!” Suzume added.
“Um, anyway… It's too early to confess, and out of the blue even.”
“Eh, why?!” The three were utterly shocked at my words.
“…”
Hah… Will I be okay, I wonder?
Maybe I relied on some very… special people. Either way, I decided to do my best to make him like me again, so I can't start faltering now.
But before any of that, I need to apologize for what I've done.
That's the first and only step I can take in hopes of being by his side again.
TL: What she did was bad, but you guys need to understand two things.
1 — Sakurai was peer pressured into doing it, and not for a second did she enjoy it.
2 — All she did was write “Idiot” on his table. To be exact it was the word “Baka”, which can be used either lovingly or as a light jab. It's kinda like calling people “Dummy”, so it isn't heavy in the slightest. I used idiot because it fit the situation more, and it's basically the same word.
So no, she didn't do stuff deserving of never leaving the suffering limbo. With proper apologies and her fixing her pushover nature, I can see them both getting back together.
Also, don't downplay Aizawa's suffering. Having a friend joining in (although not of their own volition) is a fair cause for him to break down, and it hurt his character personally.
Just don't act as if she killed somebody and has no redemption possible. I just hope the author handles this well, to be honest.
Thank you for reading! Feel free to comment your opinions below!
Also, if you enjoyed my translation and would like to feed my caffeine addiction, click on the button below and graciously give me my fix—I mean, a cup of coffee.
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14 Comments
I don't want her to suffer forever, but I don't really want them to become close again. I get where she's coming from, but the victims of your behavior should not have to be responsible for your journey to overcome it.
(I don't think you were suggesting otherwise, TL, that's just my feelings on a lot of these reconciliation stories in general. So often it ends up being the betrayed MC's job to fix these people and it just gets tiring after a while, and I suspect that's where this is going. Thank you for the TL)
Good thing this was dropped.
What she did wasn't so bad once you see all sides. However, her not communicating to him afterwards is what does it for me. There are multiple ways she could have apologized to him, told him what happened. It's a common theme in so many Japanese light novels. Everyone is completely unable to use the most basic forms of communication.
If I were in his shoes, she'd be done to me as a friend forever. I think most people would be the same. Perhaps I'd get along with her if we had the same circle of friends. Hell, I could share drinks and crack jokes at a party with her, but I wouldn't trust her ever again. Sure she got peer pressured, but when he needed her she wasn't there. Yeah yeah she got slapped by his sister... Those are just excuse. She went to the same school as him. She lost her chance.
Hi there, can I put my piece of mind here for a bit?
Childhood b*tch here really has the mental strength of a piece of paper, she just folds to any peer pressure. Look at them make origamis out of her decisions and opinions.
"She was forced to do it and she did not like it one bit". Bruh, that's NTR doujin mentality, she'll fold if they just peer pressure her to suck them off.
She knows what she did to him and yet she has the guts to claim her best to MAKE him like her again and aim for a confession? She knows its selfish, her confession is just for self-satisfaction. She has hurt him the most, she is the source of his trauma and she keeps shoeing herself back in his life, and yet she still reasons that she has the right to love and hold feelings for him.
She thinks that saying sorry will magically bring them back together, when she has done nothing to redeem herself. And yet, she gets to act like a tragic heroine.
She still has the bracelet of their promise because she treasures it and she has hopes to reconnect again. Well, she's free to dream.
I don't mind if MC forgives Childhood b*tch, I don't mind if he treats her kindly as he treats any other person, because that gives her false hope and the illusion that she has a chance. Because no matter what she does, she has long since lost trust and rapport with MC. Every time he will see her face, he'll only be reminded of what she did.
She gets rejected anyway, from what was written in the prologue and that gives me peace of mind.
Oh here we go with the JP MC beta cuck mode. Sigh why does it always go to that with these types of stories?
Thank you for the chapter !
If he was angry, then eventually forgave her after redeeming actions on her part, I would be on board. Instead the author made the MC's feelings waver, which is not good story telling. The author made that event one of the two defining pieces that established the MC's personality; the other being the sister's reaction to his fight. This whole story is leading to his he couldn't love, now it looks like how he can't SHOW love. It's now more comes than a deeply ingrained trait.
At least, I hope that the public confession Hindenbergs.
Thanks for the chapter.
She is good as a friend not gf ...no matter what I can't leave my childhood friend just BC some dump pressuring me ...I hope mc got new gf or atleast new girl who love him more then anything...
ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT........................She certainly isn't the worst type of girl nor the girl whose actions are the very worst we have read in this site or in other sites but let's remember here that people don't take a betrayal in the same way as others. Though is true she got pressured and that bastard was the root of all she could have stood firm....well, asking that for children seems too much.
Anyway, the thing is that Sakurai's betrayal isn't the only issue why the MC isn't so keen for love. Is several incidents that had happened that left him like that, Yukito-like though differently from Yukito he doesn't have it that "hard".
So i'm sorry for Sakurai but i actually hoping for the MC to not end up with her nor any of the girls that hurted him and want to be in lovers relationship(same issue with Yukito's life-story). However i really want for the MC to pull himself from all that bullshit.
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Speaking of which, what's the matter with the principal? Apparently, she is wary(scared) of the MC for some sort of incident i don't think it was the awesome 1 vs all the boys in the class stuff since the school handled that fairly well...i think?.........So it's either a new incident that happened afterwards or the bastard that initiated the 1 vs many is responsible didn't have enough punches to his face.
No matter what i'm hell sure the stuff with the principal is going to be a source of migraines for Aizawa-kun.
I'm also hoping for them to not get together again(lovers). Yeah, sorry for Sakurai.
I can see them getting along, but expecting him to "love" her again is asking too much
Thanks for the chapter. At least she understands and wishes to fix things, compared to the other worthless childhood friends, I might give her a chance but let's see where this goes. Love the trios reactions the most
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